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A new Story. Please Feel free to comment and give any ideas
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sabertooth1217
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Joined: 21 Jun 2003
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PostMon Sep 08, 2003 4:47 pm    A new Story. Please Feel free to comment and give any ideas

After I finish my Fan Fic Im going to be starting a new story. Its not going to be about star trek or anything tell me what you think of it:

One girl named Amy Jones is the main character. She goes to her family�s house for Christmas and meets every one. Her bother turns out to become a schizophrenic. The rest of the book is about her going to different mental hospitals trying to get some way to save her brothers life.

Please comment.


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Voy_Girl
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PostTue Sep 09, 2003 2:47 pm    

How about the characterisations?

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sabertooth1217
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PostTue Sep 09, 2003 4:03 pm    

please define the term

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Voy_Girl
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PostWed Sep 10, 2003 1:43 pm    

Have you developed the characters like real people, with likes, dislikes, looks, lenght...?

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sabertooth1217
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PostWed Sep 10, 2003 4:02 pm    

right now i have only one person, Amy Joens. i have no thought about that yet. im going to start maybe in a month or so.

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Voy_Girl
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PostThu Sep 11, 2003 12:43 pm    

ok. Be sure to make her believable.

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Alpha6006
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Joined: 24 Jun 2003
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PostSun Sep 14, 2003 7:55 pm    *********BETA READER***************

Its quite a good concept. But the angle is a little steep if you know what I mean, When you write about schizophrenics you have to consider that people suffer from this disorder and although it wont be intentional but you may insult a few people. So try to tread lightly around that, but try to make the schizophrenic charactor believeble. Because you can send a message about schizophrenia to people without them noticing.

But the name! amy Jones??? sorry but did you just make that name up in about 2 seconds. Give her a different last name, Like eer.....Kathawick or Logsdon, Because Jones is such a common name in books, You want your story to stand out from the crowd!


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