A new Story. Please Feel free to comment and give any ideas

sabertooth1217

After I finish my Fan Fic Im going to be starting a new story. Its not going to be about star trek or anything tell me what you think of it:

One girl named Amy Jones is the main character. She goes to her family�s house for Christmas and meets every one. Her bother turns out to become a schizophrenic. The rest of the book is about her going to different mental hospitals trying to get some way to save her brothers life.

Please comment.

Voy_Girl · **Tue Sep 09, 2003 2:47 pm**

How about the characterisations?

sabertooth1217 · **Tue Sep 09, 2003 4:03 pm**

please define the term

Voy_Girl · **Wed Sep 10, 2003 1:43 pm**

Have you developed the characters like real people, with likes, dislikes, looks, lenght...?

sabertooth1217 · **Wed Sep 10, 2003 4:02 pm**

right now i have only one person, Amy Joens. i have no thought about that yet. im going to start maybe in a month or so.

Voy_Girl · **Thu Sep 11, 2003 12:43 pm**

ok. Be sure to make her believable.

Alpha6006 · Sun Sep 14, 2003 7:55 pm *********BETA READER***************

Its quite a good concept. But the angle is a little steep if you know what I mean, When you write about schizophrenics you have to consider that people suffer from this disorder and although it wont be intentional but you may insult a few people. So try to tread lightly around that, but try to make the schizophrenic charactor believeble. Because you can send a message about schizophrenia to people without them noticing.

But the name! amy Jones??? sorry but did you just make that name up in about 2 seconds. Give her a different last name, Like eer.....Kathawick or Logsdon, Because Jones is such a common name in books, You want your story to stand out from the crowd!