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nadia
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PostThu Aug 04, 2005 4:35 am    Crime Fiction-My Story (Please Lock)

I wrote this story for my English class for homework that is due tomorrow, please read it and tell me what you think. It's not finished yet!



Dear Mr. Zatt,
I� am writing this letter to you in hope that you can help me. I have head that you have solved many crimes in the past and I was hoping that you could help me like you helped all those other people. There has been a murder in my apartment, I do not know what happened as I was out at the time of the murder. It would be greatly appreciated if you could come over and take a look at it, I have informed the police as well. My address is 4 Downer Avenue New York 19304. If you come today I will be there till 6:30 tonight.
Mr. Tomp


As I placed the letter back on the table I though to myself �Doesn�t sound too hard to solve� I looked at the clock, it said 10:00, I went to the house maid and told her that I would be out for the day. As I got my coat I started to think, �I wonder what has happened and if I will be able to solve this murder�. I got into my car and drove off to meet Mr. Tomp.
I had arrived to Mr. Tomp�s apartment, there were police every where. I walked up to the young sergeant on duty and began to tell him who I was, but he cut me off �Mr. Zatt, this way please�. As we walked up the stairs I could smell something rotten like rotting flesh, the smell was coming from room 439, Mr. Tomp�s room.
I walked into the room and right in front of me was a dead body, my first thought was �Oh gross� the body was rotting and was covered in blood, as I got closer something hit me �Sorry Sir, I didn�t mean too bump into you� I went to tell the young man that it was alright but I was frustrated and annoyed and ended up saying �You watch where your going next time ok? Every body who has no reason to be in here get out! I don�t want many people in here�. I watched as about 5 people left them room.
�You must be Mr.Zatt�
�Yes, that�s me. Who are you?�
�Forgive me, I� am Mr. Tomp, the one that sent you the letter this morning�
� Ah yes, I was wondering if you could tell me anything about what happened here?�
� Well, as I said in the letter I was out when it happened and had no knowledge of the murder until this morning when I arrived home�
� Did you have a house keeper or anything when you were away?�
�Yes, I did, my sister Agnes, she stayed here for the 3 days I was away�
�Is she here now?�
�No, she has gone to our parents house for the night whilst everything here gets cleaned up�
�Could I speak to her?�
�Sure, I will have to go and pick her up though�
�That�s fine, it will give me a chance to inspect the body�
As I walked around the room I noticed there was a layer of dust on the ground and in the dust where peoples shoe prints, but many people had been in here so any one of them could be the murders. I got down closer o the body, I could see no bullet holes or stab marks but the body was covered in blood, �That�s weird� I thought to myself �No wounds or anything but the body has lost almost all of the blood. Something weird is going on here�
As I examined the body further I was some thing which I didn�t notice before, it was a white powder next to the body, I wasn�t sure what it was so I took a sample of the powder and put it in my pocket. Just as I did that Mr. Tomp turned up with his sister.
�Mr. Zatt, this is my sister Agnes�
�Ms Tomp, I would like to ask you a few questions about this here body if you don�t mind�
�Not at all�
�On what day and at what time did you find the body?�
�2 days ago so Tuesday, and it would have been at about just after lunch, you see I went out with some friends and I came back here to my brothers place and there was this body here�
�And what did you do when you found the body?�
�I called my brother and told him to come home as soon as possible and he did�
�Where did you spent the night Ms Tomp?�
�Please call me Agnes, I slept at my parents house�
�Ok thank you very much, I will be going back to my house because I found something that I thin needs looking at, if there is any more problems you know where to find me�
�Thank you Mr. Zatt� Agnes and Mr. Tomp replied.
As I returned back to the house I was very curious about what the powder was, I walked in to t he lab and started to run some tests on the samples I took, it would be a couple of hours before I got any results so I decided to go in and have some tea as it was 3:00. Just as I sat down to my English tea the phone rang.
�Hello� I said
�Mr. Zatt?�
�This is he, may I ask who is calling?�
�It�s Agnes�
�Ah yes Agnes, can I help you?�
�I was just wondering if you would like to go out and have some tea with me and you could tell me some more about what you found at the crime scene today?�
I thought for a moment �That doesn�t sound too bad, and I could find out some more information about the body and maybe the persons identity�
�Sure why not. Where shall we meet?�
�I was thing at Oscars if that�s ok with you�
�Sure, I�ll see you there in say 10 minutes?�
�Fine, I�ll see you there�
Once again I got into my car and drove to Oscars. I was early but there was Agnes sitting on the sun chair looking out into the streets. �I hope I�m not early� I said as I sat down next to Agnes
�Oh no not really I just like to sit here and look out into the traffic�
�That�s great, but something tells me that you didn�t call me out here to talk about the traffic�
�Your right Mr. Zatt, I was wondering if you have any suspects with the murder case yet?�
�Not yet, I still have many things to do before it comes down to that. But I was wondering if you knew the identity of the person that was killed?�
�I was afraid you would ask that question�
�Why�s that Ms. Tomp?�
�Agnes, Mr. Zatt call me Agnes! Yes, I do know who the person is and I think you do too�
�Oh, and who would that be� I asked
�It�s��..Rod Freg�s�
The new stung like a bee, Rod Freg�s was my best friend when I was in school and now he was dead, just like that, it made me angry and upset.
�How did you know Rod, Agnes?�
�He and I were a couple for a while but then things went sour between us and we split�
�I�m sorry to hear that, but how did you know that I knew him?�
�He always talked about you when you too were young, he was proud to call you a friend�
�So was I� I answered with a tear rolling down my cheek. I got up to leave and said to Agnes � I�m sorry Agnes, but I must be off now, I have a lot of work that needs to be done�
�Of course, I shouldn�t have pulled you away from your work, I�ll see you again soon Mr. Zatt?�
�If you wish, good bye Agnes�
As I got into my car I thought to myself �Rod, how could it have been Rod? No one ever had a grudge against him, he was kind to every one. I can�t believe this has happened! I must find out who the killer was and make them pay! And what is that white powder?�


Last edited by nadia on Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:22 am; edited 1 time in total


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Leo Wyatt
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Joined: 25 Feb 2004
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Location: Investigating A Crime Scene. What did Quark do this time?

PostThu Aug 04, 2005 4:49 am    

Very good Nadia.

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nadia
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PostThu Aug 04, 2005 4:50 am    

Thanks, I don't know what else to write and it's due tomorrow :-/

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PostThu Aug 04, 2005 6:18 am    

I fianly finished!!!!!


Hours later the test were finally finished. As I looked at the results I was shocked to find that the white powder was a plant called Rican, it was a new drug and no body knew that it would kill any body or make them bleed to death. In my shock I rand up the police to tell them what I had found out.
�Your sure?� The constable was saying to me
�Yes Sir, I�m positive� As I said that it dug into me so much like someone had murdered me.
�Have you any leads on to who did it?�
�No Sir, but I�ll get straight on it�
�And Zatt, I�m sorry that it was Rod, he was a good man�
�Yes he was Sir, good bye Sir� And with that I hung up. I started to thin who the murderer was, everything was playing over in my mind so fast, no one had ever said anything bad about Rob ever, so who could it be?
Then all of a sudden it hit me, Agnes, she did say that things went sour between her and Rod, maybe it was something so bad so she killed him. I couldn�t wonder any more, I went to the phone book and found her number.
�Agnes, it�s Mr. Zatt, I was wondering if you would come over for a little while�
�Sure, is something wrong?�
�I�m not quite sure, we�ll talk when you get here. Bye�
I heard a knock on the door, it was Agnes, �Agnes, thank you for coming on such short notice, shall we go to the drawing room for some tea?�
�Certainly� she replied. I suspected that Agnes knew something was up because she looked quite pale. �Everything alright?� I asked
�Yes, everything is fine, since the last time we spoke�
�I was wondering what happened between you and Rod?�
�Well, it was a normal relationship we had fights and then we would always make up afterwards but�..�
�But this time was different?�
�Yes, this fight was unforgivable, saw him holding hand with another woman and I got jealous and just wanted to teach him a lesson to never mess around with me�
�What did this girl look like?�
�Beautiful, blond, tall, I don�t know, what�s this got to do with it?� I pulled out a picture from my pocket �This woman?� I asked
�Yes, how did you know?�
�That�s his sister, he hadn�t seen her for about 6 months and she had just came back to town.� Agnes got this horrified look on her face a whispered something.
�Pardon me what did you just say�
�He was telling the truth, it was his sister.� As Agnes said that I knew that it was her that killed Rod.
�Agnes, I know that it was Rican that killed Rod and made him bleed to death, is that why you killed him, because you thought he was seeing another woman?�
�You knew it was me?�
�Yes, I did, please answer my question�
�Yes, I thought that he was seeing another woman, so I taught him a lesson�
�You killed him, and you did it because you were selfish� I could feel my anger coming out on
�I was trying to protect what was mine, I didn�t think that it would kill him!�
�But it did, and that�s something your going to have to live with for the rest of your life�
�What� going to happen to me now?�
�I�m going to ring the police station, and they are going to come and pick you up and take you away. But I do have one more question. How did you give it to him with out him knowing?�
With her head held down and tears running down her face she managed to say �In his drink� I left it at that and rang the police station, and within the hour Ms. Tomp was taken away.


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PostFri Aug 05, 2005 2:22 am    

Please lock this

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