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Message |
Captain Patrick
Commodore
Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Posts: 2421
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 Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:38 pm Funny Newspaper headlines |
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Newspaper Headlines:
Think about them for a moment! (Doesn't anyone proof-read these things?)
THE YEAR'S BEST
(actual)
HEADLINES OF 2004
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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says!
(No, really?)
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers!
(Now that's taking things a bit far!)
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant!
(See if that works any better than a fair trial!)
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War Dims Hope for Peace!
(I can see where it might have that effect!)
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile!
(Ya think?!)
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures!
(Now that’s a brilliant deduction!)
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Enfield (London) Couple Slain---Police Suspect Homicide!
(I wonder what their first clue was?)
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)
*******************************************
Man Struck By Lightning---Faces Battery Charge!
(He probably IS the battery charge!)
*******************************************
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger
Test Group!
(Weren't they fat enough?!)
*******************************************
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
(That's what he gets for eating those beans!)
*******************************************
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks!
(I wonder---Do they taste like chicken?)
*******************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)
*******************************************
Hospitals Sued by Seven Foot Doctors!
(Boy, are they tall!)
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery---Hundreds Found Dead!
(Can you believe it?)
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nadia
cookie
Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 8560
Location: Australia
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| Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:14 pm |
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 There funny!!
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tomparis
Stooge Three
Joined: 25 Jun 2001
Posts: 5964
Location: At your computer, hacking your files.
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| Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:25 pm |
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I like the Strike one and the Cold Wave 
-------signature-------
tomparis: The artist formerly known as the "Forum Nerd."
99.9% sure I'm not a zombie.
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Captain Patrick
Commodore
Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Posts: 2421
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| Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:10 pm |
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I like the one that won the best
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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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| Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:59 pm |
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Funny stuff.
By any chance do you watch "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" on Monday nights?
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Mon Jun 27, 2005 12:10 am |
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Yay Dan.
Next time, source please, Captain Patrick.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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Captain Patrick
Commodore
Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Posts: 2421
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| Mon Jun 27, 2005 12:24 am |
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my source was an email from my grandpa
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Mon Jun 27, 2005 12:30 am |
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That works, 
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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Sarah Connor
Rear Admiral
Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 3644
Location: Kentucky
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| Tue Jun 28, 2005 2:33 pm Re: Funny Newspaper headlines |
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| Captain Patrick wrote: |
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant!
(See if that works any better than a fair trial!) |
*Still laughing*
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