No sex tonight?

PrankishSmart · **Tue May 17, 2005 6:20 am No sex tonight?**

No sex tonight?

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ

so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.

"She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,

"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticiipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a Baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

lionhead · **Tue May 17, 2005 8:25 am**

Thats funny man. its good too have some classical humor on this forum. Great.

we wil never understand women.

Starbuck · **Tue May 17, 2005 10:29 am**

slick

madlilnerd · **Tue May 17, 2005 11:34 am**

She was using you... you should have said "I'm not paying for sex with a tennis bracelet" and she'd have replied "Okay then, no sex"

Emotional needs- If she says that again just sit and pretend to listen to her for a while. I pretend to listen to people all the time. Every so often when she pauses, gauge the tone of her voice and say "Uhuh" or "Umhume" and she'll love you forever.

PrankishSmart · **Tue May 17, 2005 11:45 am**

OO I should mention it was a funny email my dad sent me which he got from someone else

lionhead · **Tue May 17, 2005 12:22 pm**

I realized that. But you should have told, some people here are very emotional.

Dirt · **Tue May 17, 2005 1:15 pm**

Sheesh, men

Sam Kenobi · **Tue May 17, 2005 1:42 pm**

Captain Dappet · **Tue May 17, 2005 2:05 pm**

It seems fair to me.

zero · **Tue May 17, 2005 2:06 pm**

Girls are very selfish. And they chose to punish men with sex. Girls want it as badly as men.

This is why I have no female friends because they are so dramatic and needy. God! get them away from me!!!

sabertooth1217 · **Tue May 17, 2005 2:49 pm**

OH wow... the punch line is GREAT!

Ziyal · Captain Joined: 04 Dec 2002 Posts: 848 Location: Alaska :D

Mustkillbret · **Wed May 18, 2005 12:59 pm**

hehe tr�s funny

madlilnerd · **Wed May 18, 2005 2:05 pm**

zero · **Wed May 18, 2005 2:34 pm**

^ I have been with many girls. I know what you mean.

Just don't try to have a relationship with a girl... GOD they nag!

EDIT:: and incase you have not noticed.. Guys don't normally chose the butchy girls over the ditzy ones.

lionhead · **Wed May 18, 2005 6:36 pm**

Seven of Nine · **Thu May 19, 2005 8:21 am**

Lollypop... that's funny

I'm not like that when it comes to shopping, luckily. I like to buy computer things, and normally Johny wants them just as much as me

zero · **Thu May 19, 2005 2:21 pm**