Well, this is... shocking!

Sonic74205 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:50 am Well, this is... shocking!**

Enterprise Saved ... With Strings Attached

With Star Trek: Enterprise hanging by a veritable thread the last two years, a new direction for the show has recently been unveiled that is being hailed both as a triumph of corporate synergy for the Viacom-owned Paramount Pictures, and a way to keep the show on the air. If you recall news reports from last year, UPN agreed to renew Enterprise for a fourth season in exchange for substantially lowering the license fee it pays to Paramount for the show. In order to remain on the network for a fifth season, the license fee would have to be reduced even more � to a level at which, under normal circumstances, the sci-fi show would be impossible to produce.
Enter the darlings of Viacom-owned Comedy Central, Star Trek fans Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. Parker and Stone, you may recall, also made Paramount's "Team America: World Police," which ran in theaters last year and comes out on DVD in May. The movie grossed only $50 million worldwide, but it turned a profit for the studio due to its low production budget.

"The pieces fall together brilliantly," said a top Viacom spokesperson. "Matt and Trey take over Enterprise, and it's all done with marionettes! It's like Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet all over. Gerry Anderson, watch out."

The retooled show, under the new name Team Enterprise, will still feature the voice talents of Scott Bakula, Jolene Blalock, and most of the original cast. (Those who are not invited back to voice their character parts due to budget constraints will be invited to write an episode as compensation.)

The actors are excited about the prospect of continuing the show without the hassle of costumes, makeup and 16-hour workdays. "Now I won't have to get to work super early in the morning and sit in a chair for hours and hours getting appliances glued to my face before going on set," said Linda Park. John Billingsley, who was standing nearby, interrupted and pointed out that it was in fact he, not she, who had to suffer that particular indignity. Another actor requested the producers install a high-speed internet connection and a microphone at her house so she could just phone in her performance.

Parker and Stone have already started making a shooting model of the Enterprise NX-01, thus reviving an old Star Trek tradition. "We prefer the look of physical, tangible models over CGI ships any day," Parker said. "Of course, we have no visual effects budget whatsoever, so we won't be painting out the strings. You'll get used to it. Still trying to figure out where to put the propeller."

"We're also gonna re-do the opening title sequence," Stone revealed. "Record a new theme � something bombastic, action-oriented. Y'know, something that isn't, like, totally gay."

These ambitions may put the squeeze on an already bare-bones budget. But the new Trek producers can cut corners by utilizing existing props and sets from "Team America." So don't be surprised if Captain Archer looks suspiciously like Alec Baldwin, Trip Tucker like Matt Damon, Travis Mayweather like Samuel L. Jackson, T'Pol like Janeane Garofalo, and Malcolm Reed like Susan Sarandon. But it's all in good fun and shouldn't cause any more harm to the continuity of Star Trek.

Parker and Stone are looking forward to revealing, once and for all, the identity of "Future Guy": Kim Jong-Il.

Tuvok8917 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:55 am**

What can i say........ I can only do this:

3 of 7 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:57 am**

If the show is saved, that is good. But since we got this message at April 1. , I think I shall see if it's correct, or just an aprilfool...

Leo Wyatt · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:00 am**

So Enterprise is saved or am I reading wrong?

Sonic74205 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:10 am**

Thomas · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:12 am**

It so is. They had stuff like this on there last year... like a Star Trek theme park,

Sonic74205 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:28 am**

Yeah i remember that. and Klingon eye for the human guy. lol

StarFury · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:58 am**

I really do hope this is an April Fools thing. If it isn't they i will seriosly loose a hell of alot of respect for enterprise.

lionhead · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:44 pm**

Sounds like my signature.....

The Delta Flyer · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:51 pm**

Nah it's gotta be an April Fool's thing.

If it's not I'll eat my hat.

Ps. I don't have one on me but if people are willing to post a hat of their choice to me, I shall gladly consume it...

lionhead · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 5:17 pm**

There you go. enjoy

Lord Borg · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 5:37 pm**

Id say an april fools thing. this is so not somthing that would happen

sabertooth1217 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:04 pm**

Is it true or not? Where is this from?

Sonic74205 · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:13 pm**

It's from startrek.com It's most likely an april fools.

Lord Borg · **Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:01 pm**

it is an april fools thing. 99% of things on the maine page is an april fools

sabertooth1217 · **Sat Apr 02, 2005 6:35 pm**

It's no longer on there page so I guess it was.

StarFury · **Sat Apr 02, 2005 6:38 pm**

Yeah you gotta love startrek.com for the stuff they do on April fools. They make it really believable!

KathrynDavismyalterego · Lieutenant Joined: 20 Nov 2004 Posts: 150

I'm glad think

luit14 · **Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:03 pm**

Captain Leah Manzer · **Sun Apr 03, 2005 2:42 am**

Just about half way throught i knew it Had to be one. I mean Puppet Star Trek!?

madlilnerd · **Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:55 pm**

/\ they did an episode of Angel where he got turned into a muppet style puppet, maybe that would save enterprise!

514111 · Crewman Joined: 06 Apr 2005 Posts: 2

Are you nuts Star trek enterprise is the frst show of course they well survive

Jadzia Lenara Dax · **Sat Apr 23, 2005 5:22 pm**

Tuvok8917 · **Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:38 am Re: what**