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Leon87 Commodore
Joined: 17 Dec 2001 Posts: 1589 Location: Hull
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 8:59 am Dragon Spirits |
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I've done this mostly for people to read and submit what they think of it and because i was bored when i did it.
On the planet of Zankan Leon is in a bar having a quiet drink when a woman asks if he is Prince Leon from the former Zanar Kingdom. Leon asks who is asking and when she tells him her name he flames one of his fists under the table. Leon tells her to walk away now with the henchmen she is with that are pretending not to know her. When she refuse's Leon hits her with his flaming fist causeing her henchmen to scramble to their feet. Leon pulls his sword out and starts slicing them in half as they try to take him down. When the last is dead he tells the woman to get lost and tells her to tell her master he will get his revenge. As Leon leaves he flicks a coin onto the bar and says *That should cover the damages, and if anyone asks you never heard of me*
As i step outside the bar i realise how late it is so i head home to the castle of my foster father in the kingdom of Dirtha. As i walk through the streets back to the castle conceiled by a cloak so no-one can recognise me i hear a group of people ordered to find me at all costs as i pass them. Under the cloak i smile at the thought of their faces if i were to throw my cloak off now but instead i continue for the castle finally arriving a few minutes later. I climb the castle wall in one single jump as the guards did not know i was out and lean on the wall looking down at the streets below and watching the group of people search frantically for me but to no avail as they didn't know i had been taken in by the Emperor of the Dirtha Kingdom.
As i watch the city from the castle walls i notice the church in the distance is on fire so jump down from the wall and run through the city passing civilians who are totally oblivious to the fire at the heart of the city. As i get closer to the church i come to a stop sensing a strong power not to far away. As i look around i notice a strange man with black hair staring at me as if he knew who i were. Then as suddenly as i sensed him he disappeared as a cart passed in front of him. Puzzled by the power i sensed in the man i continue on to the church finally arriving as a person swings from the church with a body and lands near a group of people. All that i heard him say was "time for a funeral later" to the group just missing what he said before that. I move into the shadows not wanting to be noticed as the Dirtha Kingdoms guards arrive to lend a hand in putting the fire out. I watch the man as he stands watching the church.
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Curtis Fleet Admiral
Joined: 29 Sep 2001 Posts: 14903 Location: Wisconsin
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 11:03 am |
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Most excellent, that's what I think of it .
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Tuvok8917 Dutchie
Joined: 15 May 2004 Posts: 4205 Location: On my way back home
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 12:12 pm |
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Sorry that i say this but uh....It`s not so very good. But keep continueing the story, maybe i was wrong .
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Leon87 Commodore
Joined: 17 Dec 2001 Posts: 1589 Location: Hull
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Thu Nov 25, 2004 7:30 am |
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I have to admit Tuvok8917 the beginning is kinda boring but it gets better or atleast what i've hand written on paper is gettin better.
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Leon87 Commodore
Joined: 17 Dec 2001 Posts: 1589 Location: Hull
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Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:07 am |
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Heres the second part:
The man who had swung from the church suddenly looks around as if he were looking for someone and then he looks straight at me as if he can see me among the shadows.
The man slowly walks over to me as if he can see me as to not attract any attention and then he is in the shadows with me. The mans first words are "my name is Crezza and i am willing to help you get revenge against the man with Black hair as it was him who did this". What do you mean my revenge against the man with black hair, I've never even met him until i saw him in the City. Crezza looks at me with a puzzeled look but says nothing. Why don't we go back to my Foster fathers castle and you can tell me all about this black haired man. I look toward Crezza for a response but all he says is "Agreed". The two of us leave the shadows and head for the castle avoiding the Dirthan guards. When we are clear of the guards I stop Crezza and ask him who the man with black hair was as the power I had sensed in the mysterious man was beyond a humans.
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