Red vs. Blue

tomparis · **Wed Nov 17, 2004 12:02 am Red vs. Blue**

NOTE: There is some suggestive language, but if you watch Red vs. Blue, you should be able to handle it.

The sun rose, and cast a shadow over a base in a canyon. Two men in armor were lying down. One of them got up and groaned, then looked around. He saw a man in orange armor next to him. He put his hand out, and saw that he was wearing maroon armor. He pushed him, and the man woke up. He looked around, confused, then looked over at the man in the maroon armor. �Where are we?� the man in orange armor asked. �I have no clue.� The man in maroon armor replied. �Anyway,� the man in maroon armor continued, �what�s your name?� �My name is Dexter Grif. Most people just call me Grif. How about you?� �My name is Dick Simmons, but most people call me Simmons.� Grif tried to hold back a laugh, but failed. �What?� Simmons asked. �It�s just that Simmons sounds like such a kiss-ass name.� Grif replied. �It does not.� �Yes, it does.� Suddenly, a man is red armor walked up. �Names, ranks! Come on, ladies. I don�t have all day.� The two of them jumped up. �Dick Simmons, sir!� �Dexter Grif, sir!� they replied. �What about your ranks?� the man in red armor asked. Grif and Simmons looked at each other, and shrugged. Simmons turned back to this new person. �We don�t have ranks, sir.� �Fine. You�re both privates. I�m the sergeant. Call me Sarge.� �Yes, sir!� They replied in unison.

tomparis · **Wed Nov 17, 2004 12:05 am**

On the other side of the canyon, two other people woke up. One wore cobalt armor, and the other teal. The man in cobalt armor looked over. �Where the hell are we?� he asked. �I have no idea.� The man in teal armor replied. Suddenly, the man in teal armor hit the man in the cobalt armor. �What the hell was that for!?� the man in cobalt armor exclaimed. �I thought I was dreaming, so I hit you.� The man in teal armor replied. �That�s the stupidest thing I�ve ever�. Never mind. What�s your name?� the man in cobalt armor asked. �I�m Private Tucker. Everyone calls me Tucker. How about you?� �I�m Private Leonard Church. Everyone calls me Church. Why are we here, anyway.� Church asked. �I have no idea. What is here, anyway?� Tucker asked. �I don�t know. It�s some sort of a canyon.� Church said. Tucker just stared at him. �What.� Church finally said. �I know it�s a canyon, but where is the canyon.� Tucker replied sarcastically. �I know as much as you know.� Church complained. Tucker walked off and started looking around the base. Church looked around, and saw another base at the other edge of the canyon. Must be the red base, he thought to himself. �Tucker! Get up here!� he yelled. Tucker ran back up to the top of the base. �What?� he asked. �See that base over there? I think that�s the red base.� Church said. �Wow. That seemed pretty obvious to me, considering were at war and all.� Tucker said, sarcastically again. Church stared at him, then grabbed a sniper rifle. �Come on. We�re going to spy on the red base.� Church said, then ran off.

Krall · **Tue Nov 23, 2004 1:59 pm**

Nice! I would Add on But I can't beat the scripts

Curtis · **Tue Nov 23, 2004 2:16 pm**

Very interesting, I look forward to reading more.

tomparis · **Tue Nov 23, 2004 11:10 pm**

Grif was walking around the base, and noticed someone following him. He was wearing brown armor. After thirty minutes, he finally went to Sarge. "Uh, Sarge. Who is this guy?" Grif pointed to the man behind him. "That would be Lopez. Now, get back to work." Sarge replied. Grif walked off, and started working next to Simmons. He looked over. "Hey, Simmons. Could you get this Lopez guy to stop following me?" "What could I do about it?" Simmons replied. "Well, I thought you were from a latino persuasion." Grif said. "Simmons isn't Spanish. It's Dutch-Irish." Simmons said. "Psh. Like I'm gonna believe that." Grif muttered. Sarge called Lopez to his office, and added a new subroutine. There were now three. Fix everything, call mom more often, and the newest one, hate Grif.

Bah. Sorry about how short this one is. I'm really lazy right now.

Curtis · **Wed Nov 24, 2004 7:43 am**

That's ok I have days like that everyday

Great story though, keep up the good work.

tomparis · **Wed Nov 24, 2004 5:35 pm**

Grif and Simmons had moved to the top of the base, and started talking as Church and Tucker got to a cliff high above the red base. Church looked through the rifle at the two reds. They were just talking. A few seconds, later, Tucker spoke up. "What are they doing?" "They're just standing there talking." Church replied. Tucker nodded, then looked at the ground. He looked up again after five minutes. "What're they doing now?" he asked. "Still just talking." Church replied. After thirty minutes of Tucker asking what the reds were doing every five minutes, Churhc was getting mad. He was counting off the seconds. "What're they...." Tucker began before Church cut him off. "They're still just standing there talking Tucker. That's what they've been doing ever since we got here, and that's probably all they ever do." Tucker looked down at the ground again. "I'm bored." he muttered. "Church just ignored him. He saw another red guy walk up. This one had red armor. "What're they doing now?" Tucker asked. Church sighed, then answered. "Some guy in red armor just came up. By the way the two other guys stood at attention, I'm guessin he's the Sargeant." "Sargeant? Why don't we get a Sargeant?" Tucker asked. "How would I know?" Church asked. "I dunno. I just thought that you were really smart." Tucker replied. Church stared at him, then turned back to the red base.

Curtis · **Thu Nov 25, 2004 7:59 am**

Great, really great...you should be an author when ya get older and out of school

tomparis · **Thu Nov 25, 2004 4:07 pm**

Sarge looked at Grif and Simmons. "It has come to my attention that there is a blue base on the other side of the Gulch. It is out job, no, our duty to attack and destroy it. Everyone, lets get ready." he said. After they had all gotten their guns and ammo, they headed over to the blue base. After searching fr five minutes, Simmons spoke up. "Huh. There's noone here." he said. "No, reallly? I thought that they were just somehow cloaked! I never would have guessed that they weren't here!" Grif said. Simmons stared at Grif, the turned to Sarge. "What do we do now, Sarge?" he asked. "We wait in ambush." Sarge replied. "That's a great idea, sir!" Simmons said. "Spare me from the kissass." Grif muttered. "Simmons, you're like the son I never had." Sarge said. "Thank you, sir." Simmons replied. "What about me?" Grif complained. "Oh, you? Your like the son who left the family, wants to steal my fortune, and is now disowned." Sarge said. "Thats it. I'm outta here." Grif said. "I'm watchin for ya, Grif! I'll know when you come back for my fortune! All I have to do is sign the papers to disown you!" Sarge yelled as Grif walked off.

This is my first attepmt at a "comedy". I think I like writing comedies better that sci-fi.

tomparis · **Sun Nov 28, 2004 4:33 am**

Churh and Tucker ducked behind a rock as Grif walked by. After Grif had gone over the hill, Church looked at Tucker, and whispered, "Whew. That was close. I wonder why he left." "Got me. Maybe he's going back to protect the red base." Tucker replied. "Then why didn't he use the teleporter?" Church wondered aloud. "Are you kidding? That psycho thing? Don't you remember those pebbles we threw through it?" Tucker asked. "Well, yeah, good point." Church replied. Suddenly a man in standard issue blue armor wlked up behind them, and said, "Hi! I'm Caboose! I'm supposed to report to a Private Church." he said loudly. "Shhhhh! Quiet down, rookie! I'm Private Church. We're spying on the red base. Now, be quiet." Church said. "Oh. Right. Sorry." Caboose whispered. Church peered above the rock to see Sarge and Simmons coming. He waved his hand, motioning for Tucker and Caboose to be quiet and get down. After they walked by, Church, Tucker, and Caboose went back to the blue base.
After this scene, cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose standing in front of the tank, in Episode 2.

Right after Sarge and Simmons return to the red base. This is right before Episode 2.
Sarge and Simmons walked back up to the top of the base. A Pelican dropped out of the sky, and landed next to the red base. "Boys, I'm leaving to go to Red Command to get our orders. Keep the base in order." Sarge said. To Simmons, he whispered, "If Grif gives you any trouble, I want you to get in the Warthog, and crush his head like a tomato can." Sarge walked off, and took a seat in the pelican. It rose, then left. Little did the reds know, it made two stops before arriving there. One at the blue base to drop off Caboose and the tank, then in the middle of the canyone to drop off Donut. Donut ran up, and saw the red base. He ran up the ramp, and heard something about someone not wanting to go to the Vegas sector.