The Proper Way to Conquer the World

[Republican_Man]

What is the Proper way to conquer the World?
Do you get a hold on Nuclear Weapons and blackmail the Earth?
Do you build a supermachine?
Do you build a robot army?
What is the proper way to conquer the World is a fun discussion on the proper way to conquer it. So enjoy!

[Kyre]

Get elected President of the US?

/going for the jugular

[Captain Dappet]

I'm with Kyre on this one

[Theresa]

I'll have to agree, too. Especially since you seem to feel that your governments are so totally inferior...

[Valathous]

Watch every episode of "Pinky and the Brain."

[Jeff Miller]

Force every country to watch the rosey o'donnel show they will beg us to stop it than we make demands.

[harrykims#1fan]

[syd2002]

[Sevenofninenz]

I think I'm going to go with hypnotysing (sp?) everyone and making them do what you want. Then I'll kill all the bullies, and murderers and stuff, and then we'd have a happy world. I'd be Queen of corse, and my friend Emma would be my Vice Roy, like Shinzon's dude on Nemesis

[syd2002]

How would you come about doing this???

[Ronevick]

Oh you know Syd, the little pendulum thing that you wave in someone's face.

[Starbuck]

Its very simple......

1. Force the whole world to watch the "Little love gone wrong: A midgets broken world" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

2. Make the only other TV station available all elevator music all the time ((non stop elevator music))

3. Make your demands, I'm sure they'll listen.

[Micteth-Son of Udas]

ok listen this is easy.
1. Graduate high school.
2. Get into the army, let them pay for Colledge
3. Become a general.
4. take your trops to a secret millitary base and get 3 nukes.
5. Convince china to invade korea
6. Take out warhead of one of the warheads and place on top of a building.
7. Call the white house and say "I want the resignation of the president and the joint cheifs or you blow up nukes.
8.Take over country.
Blow up every other countrie on earth with nukes
9. Usa only country left on earth, You win!.
OR
1. Construct a bio dome.
2 Take 2 hundred people with you.
3 steal ebola virus from a army reserch base,
4 have the only cure on earth.
5. release virus
6 get back to bio dome, wait for like a day distribute vacine, and you rule all man kind!

its sad i planed it out allready.......
i wacth intirlly to much "SEVEN DAYS"
PARKER RULES!

[Solitary Poet]

This is a difficult question. This one might take me a few days to answer.

I feel an essay coming on!

[GhostOfAMemory]

^ Micteth is good

I know! Invent a shapeshifting devie so you can turn into all the world leaders, then make them all join together to form a one world government, then take THAT over! So much easier. Or you could clone them and have the clones be loyal to you so you don't have to be in a bazillion different places at once.

[sabertooth1217]

Follow Hitler's plan but make sure that It works. Don't target Jews but Taregt USA then get China or whatever to get Korea, then take down China. Russian and the UK. All silent by the way...

[Micteth-Son of Udas]

i got another way.(O and i do plan on following one of these oneday)
1. Create a warp core.
2. Alow people to get power from it. (it provides alot but not alot)
3. Alow alot of people to get the power at low low prices,
4. make like 2 more warpcores.
5. Alow more people to to get the power at the same low low price,
6. once everyone in the world is takeing the power from you distroy all other forms of electricity
7. Raise the prices.
8. people roit.
9. lower prices only after they make you president of the world.

[GhostOfAMemory]

^

Is that the plan with gas these days? Hah.

What about if you just trasported some people to another planet, and got some minions, and then you could just rule that planet?

[Micteth-Son of Udas]

hey heres another one
1dig a hole 5foot in diamter striaght down for a few hundred feet.
2 find nerest nuke silo
3. Make a living space at the bottom of the hole for about 500 people
4 break in and fire off all the nukes the silo has,
5 find a friend to fire off nukes from another silo in another part of the contrie
6 get in hole with a bounce of people.
7 bodie trap the tunnel.
8 have your decendents find a way to reseract you later.
9 make sure your desendents dont go back up to the surfice for 200 years
10 have desendents resertec you before they return to the surfice.
11. YOU CONTROL EARTH!

[Micteth-Son of Udas]

O WAIT BETTER ONE!
1. Know alot about computer programing
2. Go work for armie.
3. Make "Skynet."
4. Have it take over the earth but as a failsafe if you die so does skynet.
5 YOU WIN!

[Jadzia Lenara Dax]

Little bit scared of Micteth-Son of Udas now. o.O
Personally, I'm in favor of taking over by following Machiavelli's The Prince. Once you've conquered the world, the book outlines just about everything you need to do to keep a kingdom.

[Pah-Wraith]

1) Move to Iran become politically active, gain public support, get into Government.
2) Recruit a Force large enough to take out the Guards at Guantanamo Bay
3) Set all the Prisoners free
4) Invade Israel and gain access to their Nuclear Reactor.
5) Nuff Said (although this plan involves releasing hundreds of Insane Terrorists free into the World.)

[Solitary Poet]

...A How to Guide on World Domination

I have thought very carefully about how I would would answer this question and my thoughts on the matter are as follows. Follow me closely here. Maybe it could get interesting.


At present, it is my opinion that in order to take over the world, you must first be born in the United States. Please, do not take this as me saying that no other person would be capable; I do not imply that only Americans are capable of doing such a thing, but if you read on you will understand why this essential to my plan.

First, you must be of a popular Christian organization. This is not to say you must believe in Christian belief, but you must be capable of falsifying your beliefs with the best of them. What you want to do after establishing church ties is to move as early as possible into a position of local power. Preferably, you will want to take a position of power in a large system in need of vast reforms. The goal is to become the mayor of such a city and reform the unholy hell out of it, get the people on your side. "This is for the good of all people!" How you do this is relative to the city you live in and the amount of voter apathy that exists in such a locale. Even if you do not reform anything, you must make a point of appearing to reform as much as possible so that any failure to reform you can blame on the people directly beneath you. You will crucify these people and they will be hated by the people so that you assure your election. Be sure to, at least, reform one or two areas of that city so that it looks good on future applications for political office.

Once you have accomplished a couple of reforms and received numerous helpful photo ops, you must quickly move on and gain more power before the system of reforms you established Big City X inevitably collapses in upon itself. The next position of power you seek is one of only two choices: You must become a senator in the state senate or the governor. Do not seek a position in the state house as this position is really just ornamental and you really have only the power to whine about what the people in the Senate are doing.

It would be wise to seek a position in the state senate before going for the governor simply because you want to do your best to make the present regime look stupid compared to what you will be bringing with you in a few years. You can best accomplish this if the party you are part of is not the majority party. The reason for this is that it will always be easier to make the powerful seem stupid if your lies are better than theirs are.

Once you have attained the Seat of Power, or the Governor, of State X, you will then want to begin initiating reforms on the education level. The goal of this is make public education your puppet and turn out students that are incapable of thinking on their own. The best way to attain this is to standardize all testing and focus on memorization over understanding. It also best if you invest your money heavily into media outlets and to become the darling of those you control with the flow of little green pieces of paper with pictures of dead people on them. It would also be wise to open your offices at least once a month so that the "people" can come and express to you what they think needs to change in society. You must pretend to listen to all of this but never veer of the train tracks; our goal is take over the world, not listen to people who were not as clever as you were to get where you are at this point.

After a number of years being the governor, you are sure to be tired. However, you must remember the space your years in politics from the point you began to the point of being the youngest man (yes, you must be male as well) to run for president. It would also be good to have a verifiable rags-to-riches story that will melt the hearts of the �people�. You must strictly seek also to polarize the people so that there is no in-between, there must always only be a yes or a no. In-betweens are a dangerous lot and will be dealt with by the powerhouse of the Moral Majority through their tactics of being able to yell louder than anybody else is. If you were worried that the current president has too much clap with the �people�, it would be wise to wait until there is no incumbent. If you have the right stuff, you will be president before the end of lunch with half a ham sandwich to spare.

Once you have positioned yourself as president, bringing along with you the long trail of reforms you've left behind in the city and state you ruled over for so long, you must then seek to blame any current failures on those who took office after you. Also, make sure to, along the way; make good friends with many rich media tycoons who think you are just the best thing to happen to hot dogs since ketchup. This will come in handy when your opponents have things to say that are more intelligent than you wont and you would prefer nobody ever hear it.

Hopefully, if you are lucky, you have managed to land in the presidency with your party currently holding the majority. If it does not, then you must seek to discredit those who oppose you and make the public understand that you, the president, truly understand them and will do everything you can to help the "people". The best way to accomplish this is to establish, in DC, the Peoples Forum and allow the Average Joe to give their opinion about what they think should be done with society.

At this point, you may be asking, "What's with all this "people" nonsense, why are we worrying about them?" Well, the simple answer is that you must. However, you must remember to do several things while accomplishing this task in order for this strategy to work. Reform education; make it simpler and more standardized: televisions in every classroom, memorization for all. You must also remember to begin ostracizing the intellectual elite. Do not worry about pseudo-intellectuals; they are nothing but fads that fade into night faster than the setting sun. In fact, you should always display a Ps-Int. over the Int.-El because they will serve to make the academics and satirists appear radical and stupid. I am not suggesting a Maoist Purge, but something of its kin would be appropriate.

As you are dumbing down the people, remember to arrest intellectuals before they can actually say anything intellectual. Terrorism is always a good ground on which to perform these arrests. These people may occasionally "disappear" down the throat of a prison in an undisclosed location for security purposes. If you have the media by this point, you will never have to worry about being caught. Also, make sure that the People's Forum becomes a media darling. It is important to capitalize on those who do not support your enemies in Congress so that the "people" will begin to think that their will is not the same will as those that "represent" them. It is very important for the people to understand that only you and those that side with you are the only ones that really understand. It would also be good for the show if you attended these forums at least once a month or every other month.

Now, one important factor is never underestimating the people that have put you where you are now. This is not to suggest that you must bow down to them; not by any means. Rather, you will always want to stay one-step ahead of those few who remain individuals, those few who still manage to choke out a few words despite being in a strange hold. When you are about to do something important that you don't want anybody else to know about, it is a good policy to send "peace forces" to third world countries. What you will be really accomplishing here is helping dictators in these countries remain in power, gaining their allegiance and preparing for global domination. All will become very clear very soon.

At some point, you will want to make a "peace" plan with the world. This is best accomplished as follows. Talk to the current secretary general of the UN and start "secret" talks concerning American nuclear disarmament. You will follow through, give the UN all nuclear arms, and propose world peace through an international governing body. You must give the UN much more power over international matters. The proposal will seek to make countries into massive city-states operating under the jurisdiction of the UN, but still independent. The armies of the world must be diverted to UN peacekeeping missions and to establishing peace and tranquility, everywhere it can be wrought. The point here is that if America is to disarm, the world can relax. Breathe a moment and start to think. At this point, get your third world allies to stir up trouble to make the world think even harder.

The smaller countries will fold first, and eventually, after many changes in the first proposal, the bigger countries will follow. The UN must gain control of all nuclear arms, and should be placed in charge of at least 2/3 of each country�s armed forces. Once you give the UN enough power, it is then time for you to step down as president and seek a position of power as the secretary general. Your application is very simple: you brought world peace, who can honestly tell you no?

Once you are established as the SG of the UN, you will then begin several military initiatives. You will take all armies and begin stationing them world wide, in different countries (never in the country they are from) in what you will term, "Project Ethnic Enlightenment". You will say that this is so that the armies and warriors of society will come to understand the world and that hopefully this will bring an end to world conflict. What better way to end world conflict, if those who bring it understand the enemy as they do themselves? You will also make some broad announcements and the third world countries will "back down" and prepare for what is to come.

You will begin funneling money into these 3WC's claiming to be attempting to bring all "people" of the world up to par as one people with equal opportunities everywhere. This will spur business, this will spur peace, you will say. Third world countries will accept this, and the plot thickens.

During the course of your stay as the SGoUN, you must remember never to overstep your bounds as an international body. Never make the countries feel as if they are not independent, let them bask in their own ignorance it will be a lot funnier that way.

The day of reckoning comes as I say it does here: You will issue orders to your armies placed in foreign countries. You remember those that are part of "Project Ethnic Enlightenment"? Now this part is vital, so as I have said before, in the great word of Mr. Vonnegut (though I do him no justice here).... Listen:

Everything must move like clockwork. You will (though I have not stated it until now) have key personal placed at your nuclear silos. What will happen is that they will, when ordered, fire small-scale nuclear weapons at the capitals of foreign nations. The goal is to wipe out the seat of government. You must also have snipers stationed appropriately so that when the Day of Reckoning comes, any Important People not wiped out in the first wave are subsequently destroyed with a quick pull of a hair trigger. You will then make a speech, each individually tailored, to the men and women stationed in these countries under your command. The key words to remember are that Country X has gone renegade; we must establish control and order. These units will spill from their bases, encounter what little resistance is left� and slowly establish control of the people in each country. You will then declare yourself the leader of a new world. The Old World Order has been destroyed through fire and horror; the New World Order will be different in that it can only be destroyed by you. When the people realize that they no longer can resist, they will fall, by the masses, to their knees in worship if the New World Order.

I forgot to mention that the 3WC's, while during the initial attacks, will be supplying you with reinforcement where needed. They will not be harmed and they will become part of the New World Order until those who helped establish it can be weeded out and forgotten.

Never, ever forget that history is written by the historians of the victors. Always remember to employ, with high salary, historians who will paint you only in the best possible light. Let future generations find your journals and hail you as a monster as long as in life you are worshipped as a god. Hopefully this never happens as your historians should do the best possible job in making the new generations understand what you Did and Why You Did It. As the old generations die off, all that will be left are rumors that will die with man who has just had his head cut off; the head may survive for 5 seconds after beheading but does not have the ability to vocalize its protests. All that comes out is empty mouth movements and nobody pays attention to that but the executioner.

Thus concludes my how to guide on world domination. Thank you, and have a nice day.

[Link, the Hero of Time]

How do you conquer the world... Hmm. My Econ. Teacher had an Idea.

First, shut down all Coca-Cola processing plants outside the US. Begin to make Coke the old fashion way, you know with cocaine in it. Ship millions of bottles to every country in the world.

Now you have a world full of Coca-cola addicts and you are the only 1 place to get it. You rule the world.