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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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 Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:39 pm Quotes of Eddie Izzard (LOVE HIM) |
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Has anyone ever seen Eddie Izzard? He's the best. I know i've said that about alot of things but he really is the best 
"The method of propragation" and the salmon  OMG! The best!
And | Quote: | | "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup" |
| Quote: | | "The NRA says 'guns don't kill people, people do.' But I think that the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I think that if you just walked around going 'Bang!' you wouldn't kill too many people would you? You'd have to be really dogdy on the heart for that to work" |
| Quote: | | I wanna live 'til i die, no more, no less |
| Quote: | | I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from |
| Quote: | In the 30s, Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, World War II -- the Russian front, not a good idea! Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid! Cause you know, playing Risk, you could never hold on to Asia...Australasia, that was the one. Australasia. All the purples. Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up�
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| Quote: | | Never put a sock in a toaster |
| Quote: | And clay pigeons � everyone shoots them in the air. Wait �til they land! Then go up the clay pigeon. *raspberry* Much easier. Yeah.
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Wed Jun 16, 2004 8:57 pm |
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Moremoremore! I just can't stop it!
About easter: | Quote: | | And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the�wood on the cross. |
| Quote: | Je dois partir maintenant par ce qu ma grand-m�re est flamb�e�
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| Quote: | If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death.
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| Quote: | We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
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| Quote: | You have the American dream! The American dream is to be born in the gutter and have nothing. Then to raise up and have all the money in the world, and stick it in your ears and go PLBTLBTLBLTLBTLBLT!! That's a pretty good dream.
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| Quote: | If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
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| Quote: | The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats.
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| Quote: | Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen�s. They�re all frumpy aren�t they? Because it�s a bad idea when cousin�s marry.
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:33 pm |
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I don't see how he's funny. Kind of annoying, actually.
-------signature-------
"Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
-Wuthering Heights
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Thu Jun 17, 2004 11:03 am |
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Annoying!!!  He's...I'll...how...he...now I...just...how dare you say that! I'm gonna... do something now...coz you've made me MAD.
HE IS THE BEST
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Sun Jun 20, 2004 3:27 pm |
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| Quote: |  I'm the queen I live for ever |
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Superman
Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 10220
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| Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:47 pm |
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I've never watched him but I have heard a lot of good reviews of his shows so he must be doing something right.
And the quotes you posted, Superwoman, were good.
What do you think of his dressing in women's clothes and painting his nails?
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Tue Jun 22, 2004 2:25 pm |
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I don't really think about the clothes and the make up at all. It's kind of strange that I don't, but on him it's just so natural. I whatch one of his shows that was a few years old, and in that one he didn't wear that much make up and stuff, it looked strange, and I was like... "what! no make up...! weird..."
But in general I don't care that much about the dressing and nails and that stuff. As long as it looks good, I don't care if it's on a woman or a man...
And you just have to watch one of his shows! Glorious is the best! I haven't laughted that much in ... well I haven't laughted that much, period. I've got stomach ache from all the laughing! There aren't words to explain it all! It's just... awesome. | Quote: | | "It's awesome" "Awesome? Like a hot dog?" "Like a milion hot dogs, sir" |
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Superman
Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 10220
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| Tue Jun 22, 2004 4:40 pm |
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Post some more quotes if you wish. The ones you did post were funny.
On the subject of Eddie's dress sense, I've never understood how any man can dress in women's clothes. Why? Well, I did it myself once at a fancy dress party.
Let me tell you. Lipstick tastes horrible. Tights are uncomfortable and far too warm. High heels are impossible to walk in. In a nutshell, I'm glad I'm a man. I just couldn't bear it if I had to wear your clothes constantly.
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Wed Jun 23, 2004 1:51 pm |
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Yea beeing a woman is hard  . At least I've got some breasts to cheer me up. But all that stuff is kind of fun to wear ones in a while, and the bit about uncomfortable u get used to...
| Quote: | God: Grim reaper, you could not get the women? ... What was the problem...? Didn't you reap them with your reaping equipment?
Grim reaper: I tried that, but the women they all know hop scotch and they leapt over |
| Quote: | | No it's true about the armey thing! I like all that sort of running, jumping, standing still � �Oh, I can see you in a tree! (mocking sounds)�part of it |
| Quote: | | �I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. (mimes stuffing an animal) I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it�s really quite tight.� |
| Quote: | | �I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don�t want them to get away, I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom� I want bees on elastic, so when they get pulled, they come back here! |
| Quote: | | God about the arc: �I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.� |
| Quote: | | What, in fact, is an �evil giraffe�? How do they�? �I will eat all the leaves on this tree. (mimes eating leaves) I will eat more leaves than I should� and then other giraffes may die. (evil chuckle) |
| Quote: | | The queen: I�ve super glued the crown onto my head |
| Quote: | | We want not slow archeology � we want �Speed Archeology!� We want big fukers with diggers! |
| Quote: | If I was Achilles, I�d put my foot in a fukoff block of concrete, for starters!... Then, in a slight downside, he�d have a maximum radius after that. �Could you come over here, please? Could you� could you come over here, please? Could you come over here? I�ve got something to show you� No, I can�t show you unless you come over here� Damn!�
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| Quote: | | About potpourri: ...Which is a genius invention! Someone said, �I will take stuff that fell from trees, put underarm deodorant on it� and sell it to posh people! Who�ll buy it!� |
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Wed Jul 07, 2004 11:34 am |
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More Quots! OH Happy Day!
| Quote: | | And they have these lifejackets, and you pull them and� (mimes jacket inflating) And you�ve got a little pipe here for top-up. And I don�t know about you, but I don�t want top-up! I want stays up! |
| Quote: | | It�s 2,000 miles to Europe, 1,000 miles to America, you�ve got your whistle� |
| Quote: | Cake or death?
Uhh, cake please. |
| Quote: | (As President Kennedy) Ich bin ein Berliner
70% of how you look, 20% of how you sound, only 10% is what you say. He said "I am a donut" and they went *wild*!
It � lucky he didn�t do a tour of Germany, heh. I am a Hamburger |
| Quote: | But you spell "through" "T-H-R-U," and I�m with you on that. Cause we spell it "thruff!" And that�s trying to cheat at Scrabble.
No, I think an "O" in.
Well, all right.
And a "G" as well.
What?
Yes, a �G� would be good.
�"guh" sound?
Yes, we need a � a silent "guh," just in the background, in case of any accidents or something.
Well, all right.
And an �H� as well!
Fukinell, ang on! An "H!" |
| Quote: | | We know the techno-fear people, they�re there going, (mimes operating computer) �Wh- I wiped the file? I�ve wiped all the files?! I�ve wiped the internet?! I don�t even have a modem!� |
| Quote: | | And if you have techno-joy, you get the instructions, you unwrap it, and throw the instructions out the window! |
| Quote: | | Breaking into the Pentagon computer� double click on "yes�" Oh, password protected! 20 billion possible chances� eh� JEFF� Hey!" |
| Quote: | | Cannot access printer? It's here. (lifts monitor to show the printer to it) I can access printer! Why the fuk can�t you access printer? |
| Quote: | | (Calling the computer servies) There's an "ON" switch on the printer, is there? |
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Superman
Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 10220
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| Wed Jul 07, 2004 4:39 pm |
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Great quotes, Superwoman. I should try and watch this Izzard guy one day.
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Scapegoat Bob
Commodore
Joined: 02 Sep 2001
Posts: 1198
Location: The Barn
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| Mon Jul 12, 2004 10:35 pm |
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we think the quotees are stupid. only owr opinion though...........
-------signature-------
Here, kitty kitty kitty!
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Tue Jul 13, 2004 5:08 am |
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Well then your opinion is stupid
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Tue Jul 13, 2004 11:41 am |
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| superwoman wrote: | | Well then your opinion is stupid |
Consider yourself warned.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Tue Jul 13, 2004 3:55 pm |
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eh? what! why! That was just my opinion! Can't I have one of my own?
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Tue Jul 13, 2004 4:58 pm |
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| STV Forum Rules wrote: | � Flaming, Bashing, and Trolling
Hate posts and personal attacks will not be tolerated. Treat other users and their opinions on these message boards, as you would expect them to treat you and your opinions -- with respect. Talking trash about another user is a quick way to earn a banning, as is posting topics specifically to provoke a negative response from someone (aka trolling). |
-------signature-------
"Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
-Wuthering Heights
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Tue Jul 13, 2004 5:06 pm |
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I didn't bash Bob! And I do respect them  I didn't said that Bob is stupid! I just said that his opinion, IMO was stupid. I just... well ok... whatever. Don't wanna arguee
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Superman
Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 10220
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| Wed Jul 14, 2004 5:40 pm |
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No disrespect to the moderators but there really was no need for Mr. Scapegoat Bob to post one line saying the quotes were stupid, after Superwoman had taken the time to post them. I guess he is entitled to his opinion but I don't think there's much use in posting one line saying the quotes are stupid.
But I know you moderators are just doing your job so no disrespect intended towards you.
Superwoman, I love the quotes. Have you any more? I still haven't seen any of Izzard's shows.
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Scapegoat Bob
Commodore
Joined: 02 Sep 2001
Posts: 1198
Location: The Barn
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| Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:50 pm |
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Thats not fare. All we did was say we thought the quotes was stupid. We didnt dis her, 
-------signature-------
Here, kitty kitty kitty!
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Link, the Hero of Time
Vice Admiral
Joined: 15 Sep 2001
Posts: 5581
Location: Kokori Forest, Hyrule
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| Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:55 pm |
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just drop it, and please watch what you say.
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Scapegoat Bob
Commodore
Joined: 02 Sep 2001
Posts: 1198
Location: The Barn
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| Wed Jul 14, 2004 9:25 pm |
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We will when we say something wrong.  We were not mean to superwoman.
read our signature
-------signature-------
Here, kitty kitty kitty!
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Superman
Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 10220
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| Thu Jul 15, 2004 12:04 pm |
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I don't think this has to become a major issue.
Whatever people think about Izzard, we are at least united in our love of Star Trek. Let's be friends, eh? 
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Thu Jul 15, 2004 2:16 pm |
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| Scapegoat Bob wrote: | We will when we say something wrong. We were not mean to superwoman.
read our signature |
I know! You didn't say anything wrong, neighter did I. And I didn't take it personal at all. Hope you guys didn't either. (I wouldn't even think about all this "I'm sorry"-thing, if T hadn't warned me... and my guess yis ou wouldn't either... but anyway. sorry)
I'll have some more quotes up and running sone. But since it's only you, Toothie , who read the quotes and the fact that when I start looking up some quotes of his, I allways end up watching all his shows... Don't you think downloading a show of his would be much easier?  For me at least, but I do enjoy posting the quotes thou...
But you miss SO much when you just Hear the quotes. You have to See them too!
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:06 pm |
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| IntrepidIsMe wrote: | | STV Forum Rules wrote: | � Flaming, Bashing, and Trolling
Hate posts and personal attacks will not be tolerated. Treat other users and their opinions on these message boards, as you would expect them to treat you and your opinions -- with respect. Talking trash about another user is a quick way to earn a banning, as is posting topics specifically to provoke a negative response from someone (aka trolling). |
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And T wouldn't have said anything if superwoman had just followed these very easy rules.
Move on, like Link said.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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superwoman
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 5742
Location: Sweden
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| Fri Jul 16, 2004 6:49 pm |
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Damn it take's time to write all these quotes Here are some. I think most of them are from his turne in Usa which was called "Dressed To Kill"... I think... | Quote: | | Cause Disney came over and built, uh, EuroDisney...you know, the Disney castle there, and the � it was, �You better make it a bit bigger, they�ve actually got them here� And they�re not made of plastic.� |
| Quote: | | I want to work in a sewer then. And discover sewage that no one�s ever discovered. And pile it on my head and the come to the surface and sell myself to an art gallery.� |
| Quote: | Stalin, killed many millions, died in his bed, well done there. Pol Pot killed 1.7 million Cambodians, died under house arrest, age 72. Well done indeed. And the reason we let it � them get away with it is because they killed their own people. And we�re sort of fine with that. Ah, help yourself, you know. We�ve been trying to kill you for ages! So kill your own people, ohh, right on there.
Seems to be, Hitler killed people next door � awwww�stupid man. After a couple of years, we won�t stand for that, will we? |
| Quote: | | You killed 100,000 people? Ahhh. You must get up very early in the morning. I can�t even get down the gin! Your diary must look odd. Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, lunch�death, death, death afternoon tea�death, death, death, quick shower.� You know. |
| Quote: | �I claim India for Britain!�
They go, �You can�t claim us � we live here! Five hundred million of us!�
�Do you have a flag?� |
| Quote: | | So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years. And then President Clinton lied about a relationship. And everyone was surprised. A little na�ve, I feel! |
| Quote: | | when you�re more mature, you do start telling the truth in odd situations. �I�m sorry, I�ve broken the glass, see � I�ve broken this � is that a � an � expensive? � I�ve � I�ll � I�ve broke it � I�ll pay for that, I�m sorry.� And you do that so people in the room might go, �What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.� |
| Quote: | | we had the Pagans. They were into sex, death, and religion in an interesting nighttime telly type of way. |
| Quote: | | A lot of people in Church of England have no muscles in their arms |
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