Dilemma

Rusty · Ensign, Junior Grade Joined: 05 Mar 2004 Posts: 31

How do you tell someone you love them, for who they are, without reservation? How do you tell that you've had these feelings for almost two years, yet remained silent because of your own fears and insecurities?

This woman is a friend, someone who chose to befriend me at a point in my life where I was (not to seem sexist or demeaning) distrustful of women, befriended me during my Freshman year of college (I go to a military school so we're not a typical college per se), when I was almost alone in an unfamiliar environment. I remember we first met when I noticed a girl in my English class on crutches. I offered to help carry her books. She declined, but I opened doors for her, walked with her across campus, talked for a while and the like. Soon we had a ritual at meeting at an on campus coffee place before English class.

In December the first stirrings of a fuzzy warmth came to be shortly after we departed on our respective flights to our home states (she's from Indiana, I'm from Florida). I was happy that I'd met such a warm hearted and wonderful girl. I've always thanked God for simply being allowed to be friends with her. We remained friends throughout the next semester. Even talking to her for a brief period of time could leave me almost euphoric for the span of a day.

Last summer we parted to enjoy much deserved breaks and last September as we studied for a quiz we had in French she asked me had I met Chris, her boyfriend. I'd said no, excused myself, and from then I felt my heart crumble, as the theme of loss radiated in many poems I've posted.

I tried dating others, but none seemed to have this special light, or spark that this girl ignites in me. Earlier this week I saw her and Mr. Wonderful at a campus party, watching them enjoy each other's affection almost killed me. I left the party early, without making a scene. Now even speaking to her sometimes makes me feel like I'm restricted to a two word vocabulary, far removed from the easy banter I used to be able to have with her.

How do I tell her of my feelings without appearing overbearing or obsessive...? That is my question

Captain Dappet · **Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:07 am**

I know how you feel. There are two alternatives, I think; wait and see how long she and "mr Wonderful" lasts together. I know that's painful, but it's an alternative.

The second option is risky. But if she really is your friend, it should not be a problem. The second alternative is as follows; you tell her. Simple as that.

I honestly do not know what you should do, but those are two suggestions. I hope it works out for you, mate

Puck · The Texan Joined: 05 Jan 2004 Posts: 5596

Why dont you show her the post you just wrote, explains your feelings great.

Josi Rockholt · **Wed Jun 02, 2004 2:01 pm**

^I agree. Tell her to come to this site and just see the post you just made. That should have an affect on her.

Puck · The Texan Joined: 05 Jan 2004 Posts: 5596

You obviously love her, showing her that isn't going to be over-bearing or anything. At least not from my point of veiw. Maybe she loves you to....yall have been with each other for two years, maybe her thinking was that maybe since you haven't expressed your feelings like that....she was just waiting around for nothing. Idk.....we need some women...they know more than I do.

Rusty · Ensign, Junior Grade Joined: 05 Mar 2004 Posts: 31

Thanks for your advice guys, but because we've had different schedules this past semester we hadn't really seen much of each other. I've just got to re-establish contact first (we have French III together next semester.)

Rusty

Jeff Miller · **Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:55 pm**

What I am going to say is how I feel so don't take it litterly love is not needed its a useless emotion to those who don't wan't it but I have to admit go with what the other members say they don't let people down that much.

Puck · The Texan Joined: 05 Jan 2004 Posts: 5596

Ah yes...then we have Jeff's posts

. Oh well, guess it just keeps us in balance so you get alllll sorts of opinons.

Jeff Miller · **Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:10 am**

Yep I have to let my opinion flow nothing wrong with that

I think both sides of the tracks should be shown if possible

Rusty · Ensign, Junior Grade Joined: 05 Mar 2004 Posts: 31

Jeff Miller,

Tried it, thinking that idea. Made for the damned loneliest year of my life three years ago...

Rusty

Sonic74205 · **Thu Jun 03, 2004 10:57 am**

Rusty · Ensign, Junior Grade Joined: 05 Mar 2004 Posts: 31

Ah, but how do I make sure female friend(s) in question doesn't blab what I asked them to do?

superwoman · **Fri Jun 04, 2004 3:23 pm**

No, I don't think u should drag any of her friends into this. If u do love her, and can't stand being whitout her, tell her that u love her! It's not like she'll go mad and starts hate u becouse u love her. JUST TELL HER! Everyone likes being loved.

Sonic74205 · **Fri Jun 04, 2004 4:40 pm**

not everyone.

But if you do tell her...just be carefull.

Ronevick · **Fri Jun 04, 2004 5:00 pm**

Come on guys, let's not freak the man out. Dude, just reconnect with her, and tell her how you feel. The worst that can happen is you stay friends. Trust me man, I know things, and don't freak out about it either brother, that just makes it harder, do it when it comes naturally; peace man.

superwoman · **Fri Jun 04, 2004 5:02 pm**

Sonic74205 · **Fri Jun 04, 2004 5:11 pm**

yeah say that

(God idea

)

Rusty · Ensign, Junior Grade Joined: 05 Mar 2004 Posts: 31

I intend to, after I re-establish contact. Most of last semester I was either simply too busy (or rather I told myself that) and I took pains not to run into her because it used to kill me to see her walking with Chris (her boyfriend) down the walk to class.

Rusty

Sonic74205 · **Sat Jun 05, 2004 7:41 am**

Is she still going out with chris?

Rusty · Ensign, Junior Grade Joined: 05 Mar 2004 Posts: 31

As far as I can tell, yes. In a way I understood how Odo felt during the fourth season of DS9 when Shakaar and Kira were a serious item. I felt much the same way.