President's proposed marriage amendment

[ILoveHarry]

This was e-mailed to me. I find it quite interesting.

This ends up with an oldie but a goodie, but the proposed amendment is hysterical!

Having trouble deciding your position on the President's proposed marriage amendment? Here's help!

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to:

"Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the
definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical
principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of
marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment to codify marriage based on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in
addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron
11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin.
If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen
24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the
constitution of any state, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the
widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

Also there are a few other issues I'd like to see our government
address:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)



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[Republican_Man]

All I can say is, Support the Gay Marriage Amendment.

[ILoveHarry]

Love is a beautiful, wonderful, and rare thing that should not be denied of anyone.

[Republican_Man]

So we have to CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE!? What?

[ILoveHarry]

No one should be told their love is less than anyone else's.

[Republican_Man]

It's not that their love is LESS then anyone else's. It's that it is WRONG to participate in such devious acts (but that's just my opinion).

[ILoveHarry]

I will never undrestand how love can be wrong. Scratch that... I don't agree with insest or beastiality.

[Republican_Man]

Well, the main reason I don't like it is because it GOES AGAINST MY RELIGION.

[Puck]

ummm.......whats the point of this......anyhow, almost all of these biblical quotes were pulled from the OLD TESTAMENT...God's covenant with the Jews, however, today Christians abide by the law of the NEW TESTAMENT, God's renewed covenant with his people, sealed by the crucifixion and resurection on the cross...Christians are taught to follow the NEW TESTAMENT.

[Republican_Man]

Yes, but that doesn't mean that we CAN'T follow the Old Testement...It IS part of Christianity too. Yes, the New Testement is the main teacher now, but still, we must follow the Old as well. Why shan't we?

[Puck]

I know we should abide by some of the old testament, but that is the old covenant, the New Testament is the more important out of the two, and the one that should be followed.

[Republican_Man]

Still, nonetheless, as was taught in the OLD, being Gay is WRONG. And that's what I believe. Let's leave it at that.

[DemonClassY]

Hey! I am a practicing Roman Catholic, it is against my religion. But I am not THAT much involved. Being THAT much involved and brainwashed like that is insane. If two people love each other, then who on Earth has any right to tell them that they can't be together. NO ONE ON EARTH CAN TELL THEM WHO THEY WILL AND WILL NOT MARRY! That pisses me off beyond belief. Leave the gays alone!!!! God wants us to be happy, so thats what they are doing, they are happy being together, and so help me God if I ever see anyone trying to get in the way of a marriage because it's not "right", I will just hurt them. If two people love each other then you should be happy for them, you are INSANE!

[Monkey]

well it says in hebrews that homosexual acts are an abomination

[ILoveHarry]

Demon, I simply love you. Thank you for being you. You're a great person.

[Monkey]

so you would take the law into your hands to defend your opinion?

[DemonClassY]

I just think that people should leave the gays the hell alone. They are HAPPY. Isn't that what you want for people. Ecspecailly if you are a firm believer in God, God wants ALL of his children to be happy. And so friggin what if two people of the same sex are in love. They are still human beings, they just have similair sex organs. LEAVE THEM ALONE and worry about your own damn life!

[Republican_Man]

[DemonClassY]

Why is it wrong, because the old testament says it is??

[Republican_Man]

Not just that...It's wrong, and sexually deviant behavior.
Now, can we PLEASE drop the subject, like I said before.

[DemonClassY]

Uh, no...so you are saying that even if the bible said nothing about it, you would still think it was wrong?

(C'mon, we got a good debate going here...of course people are going to be stuck on their beliefs, this is what is making it so fun. )

[Republican_Man]

Yes, I would...Not so much, but still...
If we gave into one Special Interest Group, YES, Special Interest Group, then we would have to give in to all the others.
EX: Petifiles, Triads...

[DemonClassY]

Why would you think its wrong???

[Republican_Man]

Because it IS!
It is sexually deviant behavior. It is wrong.

[DemonClassY]

What is so deviant about it??? You have to have a reason??