In Jarvis's eyes

[Voy_Girl]

Great,

[Kathryn_Janeway_Jr]

alrighty... =) will be posting the next part sometime next week. by the way, what do you think?

[tom_88_2]

it is great

[Voy_Girl]

[Kathryn_Janeway_Jr]

[Kathryn_Janeway_Jr]

DAY 11
-----

Commander Tatyana Romanov Log Stardate 52067.3

I could not believe that diseases like these couldn't be treated. Moreso, I cannot believe that Jarvis passed the Academy with this disease inside of him. How could he have survived the Academy training if he has these so-called "withdrawal" problems. I have decided to talk to his mother about it so that I may understand and know the limitations of my assistant...

***

"Mrs. Jarvis. I am Commander Tatyana Romanov, First Officer of the Sentry and direct superior to your son."

"Yes, I've been informed that you would be calling, Commander Ma'am. Thank you for taking my call. Please I wish to know how my son is?"

"So you've heard about his collapse?"

The older woman nodded. "I'm worried about Carl. He loves his father so much. But he's also worked so hard in the Academy to be where he is now. I shouldn't have told him the news... I should've waited until he came back..."

"Why would you say that, Mrs. Jarvis?"

"Carl has this disease. He's had it since he was a little boy. Before we thought that whenever he felt bad or was thrown in a pretty bad situation he'd have a fainting spell. But it was during his high school days that we've realized that it wasn't any ordinary fainting spell."

"You learned that he had KWS?"

The older woman nodded. "His major attack happened when he was in high school. He was in a comatose state for the next two years."

"What happened during that trip?"

"Their entire high school graduating class into an educational tour to the different nearby Terran colonies and starbases so that they would have a glimpse on what they would like to be when they went to the Academy. They were on their way back to Earth when their ship was attacked by space pirates..."

"Yes, yes, I remember that incident. The transport ship that they were in on had little firepower compared to the one that had attacked them and not long before that the students were overwhelmed by the bandits. The ship was taken hostage for several days until one of the hostages was able to send a distress call pinpointing their location and their status..."

The old woman nodded again. "Carl and his girlfriend, Fuuko, were part of the hostages. My boy loved that girl with all his life. He even told me once that he and Fuuko had planned to go to the Academy together and work in the same ship and get married when they were in their late 20's. But it seemed that that would never happen."

"Why is that? What happened to them in that ship?"

"One of the pirates had his eye on Fuuko. In fact, they had their eyes on all of the girls in that class. Fuuko was a beautiful young woman. Full of life, optimistic, loving... She was the reason why my son hadn't withdrawn for the past few years... He had made her happy... However, they took my son's happiness away when they took all the girls and placed them in another holding cell."

"My son and a few of the other boys were so angry and outraged at this that they had to be beaten up in order for them to be subdued. The worse part of it was the girls were molested and brutalized. Fuuko had a fighting spirit in her and because of that she was the worst case among all of them..."

The older woman started sobbing uncontrollably. It pained her to see her in such sorrow but she had to understand KWS in order to understand her subordinate.

"Mrs. Jarvis, please let me understand your son.. Let me understand this disease..."

It took a moment for Mrs. Jarvis to compose herself. But when she started to speak, her voice was clear but shrouded with emotion.

"One of his friends, Bucky, told me in the hospital that the girls were returned, several hours later, all battered and bruised. But what he saw in Carl's eyes when he saw Fuuko in that state was something he didn't want to see ever again..."

***

Bucky's flashback...

The girls were returned and the boys were nursing bruised faces.

"You're female companions are worthless! We will not be able to sell them in any price at all!!!" the guard said as the girls staggered and stumbled towards the holding cell.

One of the other guards carried one of the girls over his shoulder. She was unconscious and I didn't recognize who she was until she was thrown by my feet.

"Here! Take your mate! She's the worst of them all!!!" the three guards inside the cell burst into laughter.

Carl looked at Fuuko and found his love fading away. Her face had received numerous blows, rendering it with horrid looking cuts and bruises. She could hardly open her eyes. And when she spoke, it took a lot from her not to wince when she said the words. He took her in his arms and held her, enough to send her the message that he was there for her but not constricting enough to cause her additional pain.

She looked up to me and said. "Carl... Pro.. mise... me..."

"Fuuko, please... Save your strength..."

"Pro... mise... me... that... we'll... get... get..."

She passed out. I ripped a couple of cloth strips from his shirt. "Here, Carl. Use these to dress her wounds." He searched for a pulse in her neck. "She's still alive, but her pulse is weak. We have to get out of here if plan to get her treated..."

I felt something inside of my bestfriend snapped. I felt it in his body movements. "Bucky, hold her for me please."

"Carl, I don't think this is a good idea. You might get hurt man..."

Carl glared at me. I could feel his anger and rage. For a moment there, I thought he was a demon of some sort. His face was hard, eyes blazing with anger. His teeth were clenched and his jaw was hard set. And as I saw him stand, I found his fist clenched tightly, making his knuckles turn very pale.

"Hey! What are you doing? Get back there!"

The guards stopped laughing and started drawing their weapons. But Carl advanced and threw the first punch. He was able to knock one of the guards unconsious but the other two was able to grab hold of him and hit him in the back with what they call "lightning sticks". Carl roared and tried to throw them off, but on of them hit him with the lightning stick to the head, rendering him disoriented and paralyzed. As a result, Carl got the most beating than most of us.

Several days later, Carl woke up. He could hardly move at first. He told me everything was blurry and shifting way too fast. He felt as though his head was run over by a shuttle or something. However, when he saw Fuuko and what happened several days earlier, his anger started all over again.

"Carl you have to stop this. Fuuko is getting weaker by the minute, you have to keep her company man. Not getting yourself beaten up. Look at yourself. I can hardly recognize you anymore.."

"Shut up Bucky! Leave me be!" Carl said as he stood up. "I'll get us out of here. I'll get Fuuko out of here! I promised her that!"

I stood up, facing him, holding him in place. "Would you listen to me for a moment Carl! I've had enough of your irrationality. I know it pains you to see your girl like that man."

"No you don't! You don't know how I feel man! I feel like ripping their heads off for doing this to our girls! And I can't stand your cowardice, just letting them brutalize them like that!"

"Now that is enough!" I snapped, throwing my best friend a punch in the face. "Will you listen to me or not?!?"

"Do I look like I have one?"

"Listen, thanks to you knocking out one of the guards a few days ago, he dropped his communicator. Now, Jim has turned it into a distress beacon. We've been able to contact a Federation vessel. They're going to be here in less than an hour."

"Have you continued sending?" Carl asked.

"We've stopped." Jim said. "Although I have made the transmissions look like static he has stopped them since the ship is coming anyway."

***

"I see. When did your son withdraw?"

The older woman stared right through Romanov, her eyes filled with sad tears.

"When they were at the Sickbay of that ship that rescued them... That child suffered so much internal trauma which wasn't treated right away... That caused her death... Bucky told me that she died holding my son's hand..."

*******

NOTE: The scene where Jarvis's girlfriend dies will be in another log...

*******

Commander Tatyana Romanov Log continued.

As I listened to the mother, I felt a pity towards my young subordinate. I know people like him do not like to looked upon by other people like that, but he had gone through a lot. I have judged him too much. He deserves to be where he is now. He chose this path because it was what he had vowed to take. He chose this career because it would give a peace of mind over things that have long passed. But would it. As far as I've been able to observe, he is a dedicated young man. Not afraid to face challenges. Maybe this disease doesn't impair someone's ability for goals in life.. Maybe it's just an emotional shield that someone has to nurse their emotional pains... And maybe that's the reason why Jarvis "withdrew". Maybe he needed time to console himself, instead of making it a distraction to his career. Maybe it's his own way of dealing with emotional pains...

***

[Kathryn_Janeway_Jr]

DAY 15
-----

"Carl, promise me... Promise me you'll go on..."

"Fuuko..."

"Carl, please... Promise me you'll go on with your life... Be happy..."

+++

"Carl what are you doing?"

"I don't want to go on, Fuuko... I'm tired and Dad just died..."

"Who died?"

"Dad?!? What? What are you doing here?"

"I'm with Fuuko now. Why are you sad, son? You should wake up."

"Life's not worth living anymore Dad."

"What do you mean not worth? How about your Mom? Who's going to take care of her? YOu're still young, boy! Use it wisely! Find a woman and love her like I love your Mom and like how you love Fuuko..."

"Carl, I see that you will love someone else in your future. Please do that... For me and for your Father as well as for you and your Mother's sake. Don't dwell in the past... Live your life... Live it..."

"I... I... I... I will..."

***

Ensign Davon Luron, the resident Nurse at the Sentry, was reading her research on the Kusanagi Withdrawal Syndrome when Jarvis's medical console beeped.

Luron approached the medical console and read the readouts.

"...What... What..." I managed to say, my voice all hoarse and dry.

"Carl!" Luron beamed. "You're finally awake!"

Luron helped me sit up. "How.. How long have I been out?"

"About eight days.. Wait a second." she said as she tapped her comm. badge. "Sickbay to Doctor Adams. Please report to Sickbay. Lt. Jarvis has awaken."

"Acknowledged."

"I've been reading about your illness, Carl and I..."

"I'd rather not talk about it..." I said groggily, cutting in before she further.

"I see." was all she said as she fell silent and reached out for a hypospray at a nearby medical
tray. "This should take away the grogginess."

I nodded, feeling a little guilty. "Look, Davon, I apologize. It's just that this disease... I just want it to keep it within myself and the Doc."

Luron smiled with understanding. "I know. I can feel what you feel remember?"

I nodded, I felt a sudden wave of shyness overcome me. I heard Davon giggle. I had to smile.

"Ah, Lieutenant! I'm glad you've returned to us..." Doctor Adams said as she entered Sickbay with Commander Romanov and Captain Vorak in tow.

"I'm pleased that you've come around, Lieutenant." Captain Vorak said, as he neared my biobed, his Vulcan reserve in place.

"Thank you sir."

"If you're upto it, Mr. Jarvis, the Captain and I wish to talk to you... About your condition..." the Commander said as she spoke.

I swallowed hard. I looked at Davon. She nodded sympathetically at me. She knew how I felt about the disease.

"Captain, Commander, may I speak freely?"

Vorak looked at me in his own Vulcan "curiosity". "Proceed, Lieutenant."

"Sir, I prefer not to speak of the disease. It's too personal for me to talk about."

"How so? You seem to have omitted it from your Medical records at the Academy."

"Actually Sir, it wasn't omitted. It was considered classified, for my own CMO's eyes only. I had to request it because if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to live a normal life the way I want to be. I don't want to be some lab rat to be tested upon with because I have this disease. Many people have been 'prisoners of research' because of this disease, and I don't plan to be one of them..." I pleaded, my gaze bouncing back and forth at the Captain and the First Officer. "Like any person, we all have secrets we intend to keep to ourselves. This is my secret. And with your permission, I intend to keep it that way. Besides, I don't think this disease will rear its ugly head anytime soon. I've recovered from one before and I've recovered from one now. I've been through a lot since my days at the Academy... Please Captain, Commander, this is my life sir. Starfleet is my life... Let me live it..."

I cast a glance at Doctor Adams, Commander Romanov and finally at the Captain. There was silence among them and I prayed that the Captain would grant me what I hoped for.

"I see. Your request is granted." Captain Vorak said. Turning to Doctor Adams, he asked, "When can he return to duty?"

"I need to keep him here for a couple more hours just to make sure he's fully recovered. I'd say he can return to his duties tomorrow..."

"Noted. However, you're still entitled for a bereavement leave..."

"Sir, I don't need it. I've been grieving long enough. I need to get back to my post if I want to get my focus back... More idleness will give me more time to think of things I should be avoiding because of my disease. I need to get back at my post so that I can be useful and distracted from my personal flaws..."

After a while of pondering, Vorak nodded. "Very well. Report to me as soon as your have been release."

"Aye sir."

***

(jotting down his log on a PADD)

Lieutenant (j.g.) Carl Alexander Jarvis Log Stardate 52075.5

After several days "withdrawn" I feel emotionally drained. However, I must not make this a hindrance to my duties here in the SEntry. The Captain and Commander Romanov have been most patient with me and my sickness and I plan to prove them wrong that I am capable of my duties despite this problem. My last withdrawal has taught me a lot. I will not make the same mistake again. I think I can control this sickness. I know I can. It's just a matter of NOT giving up.

End log.

[Kathryn_Janeway_Jr]

Hey guys! I apologize for not posting for a while now but I'm SWAMPED WITH WORK again! huhuhu

Anyway, I hope you can give me your insights on the story I've been making starting from the first post I made to the last... I would really appreciate some constructive criticism... thanks...