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Captain Proton: Chaoticas Insane!(Action/Comedy)
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Ronevick
The King


Joined: 23 May 2003
Posts: 11428
Location: (609), New Jersey

PostWed Jul 02, 2003 10:18 pm    Captain Proton: Chaoticas Insane!(Action/Comedy)

Chapter 1: The Getaway

"Step away from him chaotica before i blast you!" said Proton as he moved over next to Kinkade who was still hanging bye his neck at the top of the building. Chaotica gave an amused look and simply said "You fools you gave no idea how powerful my new death ray will be.....not even the one in front of you can stop it!" Then he jumped into his small and crude ship then escaped blasting through the roof of the building. "Well that was a bit rude wouldnt you say Buster?" Then Kinkade struggled to turn towards Proton but still said "How about giving me some help here Proton!" So eventually the Captain got him and he didnt die as usual. "Well I guess that we've got to go find Chaotica again." " Hey Proton do you think that he was telling the truth about there being another death ray even more powerful than this one out there somewhere?" "Not really since Chaotica is half insane already but you never no so we must try to find him again." said Proton in a cool voice. The pair then casually left the room but in the third corridor over from the chamber they were in while Kinkade was picking his nose Proton just started shooting. "What are you insane shooting at nothing like that!" he said as an energy beam passed over his head....."I mean ah um right just keep on shooting them Proton." When the fire fight stopped Captain Proton turned to Buster and said "Almost getting shot is the price you pay for not paying attention and picking you nose in one of Chaotica's lairs." Eventually right before they made it to their rocket ship an energy barrier appeared on the snow covered rocks. "Well i guess we have to go on that mountain ridge going over it.....you ah uh you go first." said Proton gulping and trying to keep his cool. "Are you feeling alright Captain?" said Buster "Your not usually afraid of heights." "Oh no im just fine the idea that if we even take on wrong step well fall off of a 50 foot mountain ridge onto rocks that will electricute us if we step on them doesnt phase me at all." said the Captain. "Oh dont worry ####### toes lets go!" said Buster. Once they got to the other side and after Proton took the giant piss that he wanted to take in his pants the whole "ride" over they both got in the ship and went off to find Chaotica again.(hope you like it and yes there are probably quite a few grammar mistakes)


Last edited by Ronevick on Sat Jul 05, 2003 6:43 pm; edited 1 time in total


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Voy_Girl
Admiral


Joined: 07 Jan 2002
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Location: Fair Haven

PostThu Jul 03, 2003 3:06 pm    

It's a good start... filled with action.

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Datas_Hottie
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Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 2519
Location: In the destruction of u're dreams

PostSat Jul 05, 2003 2:27 pm    

Wow. very injoyable. and good.

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Ronevick
The King


Joined: 23 May 2003
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Location: (609), New Jersey

PostSat Jul 05, 2003 2:29 pm    

thanks a lot

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Melodramatic
Rear Admiral


Joined: 04 Feb 2003
Posts: 4577

PostSat Jul 19, 2003 5:29 pm    

Lol, nice work.
I look faward to the future of the story.
WRITE MORE.


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Ronevick
The King


Joined: 23 May 2003
Posts: 11428
Location: (609), New Jersey

PostSun Jul 20, 2003 9:03 pm    

Ill try to get around to it writing isnt my biggest interest if you know what I mean lol. I only did that because I was bored but sure ill try and write some more for you.

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Melodramatic
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Joined: 04 Feb 2003
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PostSun Jul 20, 2003 9:09 pm    

LOl, ok.
But for being bored it was good.


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Ronevick
The King


Joined: 23 May 2003
Posts: 11428
Location: (609), New Jersey

PostMon Jul 21, 2003 10:57 am    

Chapter 2: Located

When they both entered the ship Proton casually walked over to the controls of the rocket ship like nothing had happened. Then Buster trying to look cool leaned back against the weapons controls. "I wouldnt touch that if I were you Buster.""Oh I know exactly what im doing Mr SpaceCowboy." said Buster. "Booo!!" said Proton and Buster fell onto the weapons controls and farted on them because he was scared and couldnt help it."Well I guess that means no ones going to be touching those controls anytime soon.""Ahhh that felt good...er em I mean it was an ..a complete ."The rocket ship speeded off and occassionally some other ships blew up from the stench of the rocket ship. "What have you been eating lately Buster...hey im detecting Chaoticas ship its on a planet close to here..im altering our course now." As the ship was headed after chaotica a gigantic space worm flew in from another dimension and began to spit on the rocket ship! "Wheres my noseplug and triple layered gloves Buster it looks like we're going to have to use those weapons controls now." Cautiously Proton maneuvered himself over to the weapons controls and destroyed the space worm..one bad side effect was that Proton now smelled like nuclear waste. "Well im glad thats over with...SHOWER!...oh wait I forgot we dont have a working shower...WHAT!...oh well I guess there are worse things than smelling like you just swam through a nuclear lake and river." said Proton. "Proton we are approaching the planet Chaoticas on...im bringing us down." said Buster. When the ship landed the two got out and Proton grabbed his trusty ol' weapon.


Last edited by Ronevick on Fri Jan 30, 2004 6:55 pm; edited 1 time in total


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Melodramatic
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Joined: 04 Feb 2003
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PostMon Jul 21, 2003 11:02 am    

Lol, great chapter
I like chapter 2 better than chapter one
Very well done.


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Ronevick
The King


Joined: 23 May 2003
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Location: (609), New Jersey

PostMon Jul 21, 2003 12:19 pm    

Well at least im getting better.

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sabertooth1217
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Joined: 21 Jun 2003
Posts: 11484
Location: Texas

PostMon Jul 21, 2003 3:42 pm    

its very good writing but i dont like the subject lol

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Ronevick
The King


Joined: 23 May 2003
Posts: 11428
Location: (609), New Jersey

PostMon Jul 21, 2003 3:53 pm    

^Dont like Captain Proton eh. Neither do I all that much im just trying to be funny lol.


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Melodramatic
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PostMon Jul 21, 2003 5:41 pm    

^ Well, the story it pretty funny.

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