B.A. Barracus and the A-Team vs. The Enterprise.

[LightningBoy]

Scene 1: EnterpriseBridge
Worf: We are detecting an intruder in Cargo Bay 2.
Picard: Species?
Worf: 1982 Custom GMC Van.
Picard: Send a security team to investigate!

Scene 2: Enterprise Cargo Bay
BA: Murdock you crazy foo! I tolds you, you wasn't readin' the map right!
Murdock: Well, how can I read a map when you keep sliding the tires like that?
::BA raises fists to Murdock::
Hannibal: Easy BA...
BA: This foo's insultin' my drivin'!
Murdock: Man, it's called constructive criticism.
BA: I'm 'bout to construct your face!
Face: Did someone say my name?
Hannibal: Guys, lets get on with the mission, we're supposed to be defending the small local gas station in Utah, from the large multi-million dollar mob-run oil company.
BA: Yeah! Dem oil companies'll getcha!
::A Team gets back in van, just as CargoBay door closes, and Enterprise security team comes in Cargo bay.::
Worf: Hands up! You're under arrest for trespassing on federation property!
BA: This funny headed fooain't stopin me from nutin'!
Worf: I will grab you by the throat and rip out your esophagus with my bare hands!
::Picard and Riker arrive::
Riker: Worf! Enough!
Picard: Security Team, escort these men to the Brig!
Worf: Aye Aye Captain.
Hannibal: All right guys, they asked for it.
::A-Team pulls out several weapons, forcing the security team to retreat, and seal the A-Team in the cargo bay.::
Face: Oh great we're trapped now, I suppose they're gonna bring us to Admiral Decker at the S.P.s(Starfleet Police)...
BA: I ain't gettin' trapped by no bald foo, funny foreheaded alien, and his fat bearded friend.
Murdock: I say we IMPROVISE!
::A-Team theme plays as they find barrels marked explosive, a shuttlecraft, and other tools, BA welds something, you see Hannibal plugging something into something else, Murdock and Face tie down a piece with copper wiring, and they do other general building-type things::
BA: Man, we outdid ourselves!
::Hannibal puts Cigar in mouth::
Hannibal: Yeah we did!
::Camera pans out to show a giant tank, built out of barrels, a shuttlecraft, and large explosives cannons on the front.::

Scene 3:Enterprise Bridge
Picard: Are those rapscallions still locked in Cargo bay two?
Worf: Yes sir.
Picard: Assemble all security outside prepare a raid.
Worf: Yes sir.

Scene 4: Outside Cargo bay two.
Worf: There's the last of the men, open the doors.
::Just before Security guard presses the panel to open the door, a giant explosion blows open the corridor wall. A tank with the A-Team onboard comes out.::
Security officer: Orders sir?!?!
Worf: If you were any other man I'd kill you where you stand!
Secuity officer: huh!?
Worf: Oh, wrong movie, sorry. Open fire!
::Tank fires large explosion, 3 security officers jump just in time. Explosion blows Worf's phaser out of his hand.::
Hannibal: Go!
::Large fist fight sequence where BA and Worf have a good duke-out. A-Team defeats them all::
Hannibal: Good job guys! Now let's take this ship over!
Murdock: I can fly it.
Hannibal: No, Murdock, I need you and BA in engineering, take them out, and 'modify' this things engine, I have a feeling it's not fast enough.
Murdock: Ok, come on BA!
BA: Do I have to go wit this crazy foo!?
Hannibal: Yes.

Scene 5: Engineering
BA: Ok, you modify that conduit, I'm gonna work on the dilithium chamber.
Geordie: What are you fellasdoin here?
BA: Back off, and get your engineering crew outta here, or I'll throw you outta here!
Geordie: Get out of my engineering!
BA: OK foo you askin for it!
::BA grabs Geordie by the uniform, BA throws Geordie. Geordie wakes up in 10-forward with Guinan looking at him::
Geordie: That BA can sure throw helluva far!
Guinan: BA! I know him, in fact, I know about every mysterious thing the Enterprise comes across, but I have never told anyone about any of them before!
::Geordie passes out again, Guinan continues to tend bar, still withholding what could be important information, meanwhile back in engineering::
BA: Gimmie that torch.
:: Murdock hands BA the torch, BA welds somethin'::
Murdock: there's some more Engineering crew around here we should be careful.
BA: good plan, you check that Jeffries tube for anyone.
::Murdock opens tube, Barclay comes out::
Barclay: H... H... H... Hey... Y... Y... You're... ME!
Murdock: Yes I am, I guess?
::Barclay passes out::
Murdock: Took care of him, BA!
BA: Good ::Whispers to self:: Not bad for a crazy foo!
::Comm panel beeps::
Hannibal: We got control of the bridge, Ol' Baldy decided to grant us asylum on the Enterprise if we want, and a full Pardon from the federation after we threw Wessley Crusher into space. He said that we did the universe a favor!
BA: Good job, but we's betta be goin'
Hannibal: Agreed!
::A-Team goes back to van in cargo bay 2 and leaves. But, BA gets out of the van in a space suit, and grabs the Enterprise by the saucer section. He throws the ship off into the recesses of Space.::

Scene 6:Enterprise Bridge
Data: Captain we are reading 1.5 Billion light years from our original position.
Picard: What! Galaxy M-133 again!
Data: Yes Captain.
Picard: WOW!
Data: Man, that BA can sure throw Helluva Far!

[shrek man]

Very nice!

[Voy_Girl]

Cool...