Beyond Life.......Lies A Soul In Bondage

Lxe · **Tue Nov 12, 2002 2:06 am Beyond Life.......Lies A Soul In Bondage**

The warriors honor...." you do not draw a weapon unless you are going to use it..... your word equals a vow you will not break.... do not say anything you will not back up...."
The role of a samarai......"Treat all life equally......you can not own anything that has a soul....land......waters......earth.....serve and protect all life......defend all life......."
This is the histroy of Julian Chavon Thomas Brown....Daughter of a Samarai....

-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- · Rear Admiral Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126

kewl!

Voy_Girl · **Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:38 pm**

nice... sounds like a good beginning

Lxe · **Sat Nov 16, 2002 2:27 am**

I mostly learned what samarai and warriors beliefs from my father and the people he works with. A lot of people will marry for status, position or how much money you have. I haven't came across the kind of marriages that i hear about where love has nothing to do with it...... the people my parents work with, spend time off work together, marry for love, love with their soul, all their being and listen with their hearts.....
They will stand by you..... they believe in communication and saying what is on your mind......and talking things out. People tell me that if I weren't protected I would have been sold as a slave....... Mixed marriages are not accepted in most parts of the country.... my mother and I have an escourt at all times...
there are different kinds of beliefs for religion, slavery, race. The country and factions are divided up into what you believe..... and the people that don't show any racism or judgment work in all the areas of the country are the most trusted ....and they are hired by contract to get things done.........
while my father works out of town and does the major contracts....... we have escourts and bodyguards at all times...... all of them check with each other to see what is going on and who has the shift........
My family strongly believes in communication..........you say what is on your mind......listen with your heart .............love with your soul..........
you can't own anything with a soul.....
slavery will come back at you and teach lessons you never realized......lessons will be learned...........you have a soul.........you have a mind.........you have an opinion.........you will not be able to say anything...... no one will listen......no one will hear you speak....... no one will acknowledge you......not until you learn about love........

Mikon · Fleet Admiral Joined: 12 Jun 2002 Posts: 12232

and good continuation...whats with all the dots

-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- · Rear Admiral Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126

^yup and also yup...

Voy_Girl · **Sat Nov 16, 2002 6:16 am**

Sweet chap

-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- · Rear Admiral Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126

it is a very sweet chap... must be irritating, to have an escort

Voy_Girl · **Sat Nov 16, 2002 4:27 pm**

Wonder what that would be like... to never experience any freedom.

Zebedee · **Sat Nov 16, 2002 4:43 pm**

Nice story AD

Krall · **Sat Nov 16, 2002 10:13 pm**

If someone was following me like a body guard,i'd loose him,Cuz having a body guard MAKES you look important,MAKES you look like a target.

Lxe · **Tue Dec 03, 2002 12:58 am**

because of the color of my skin i'm judged and labeled. i have a mixed heritage and some people can't accept that. i could go to school and get all the degrees in the world but some people will not see an educated woman they will see my skin color and judge me on what they think my people can and can't do.
this is what made me decide to academy to be an officer, take self defense and train in martial arts. most of all i wanted to be what my father is. that way i can keep the peace on the streets and other people don't have to face what i face everyday.
who does want to face the racist comments, sexist comments, the racial jokes and all the stuff that comes when you are different. people really don't think about what that can do to people that get it everyday.
i've been called egg face, monkey woman, ape woman, sasquach. the racial slurres just don't stop. it got to the point where i really didn't talk to anyone and i just stayed all by myself and didn't want to talk to people because i just couldn't take it anymore.

Voy_Girl · **Tue Dec 03, 2002 3:34 pm**

Good.....

shrek man · Whiz Kid Joined: 14 Jan 2002 Posts: 5519

Very good.

Voy_Girl · **Fri Dec 20, 2002 4:19 pm**

Hey, AD! How's the story coming?

Lxe · **Sat Dec 21, 2002 12:32 am**

i should have a chapter up soon, right now i kinda have writers block.

Voy_Girl · **Sat Dec 21, 2002 4:20 pm**

Writer's block is so frustrating!! Hope yours will ease soon enough...

Lxe · **Sun Dec 22, 2002 4:34 am**

If it weren't for my family I would have lost all essence of who I am. The support is the greatest thing I have ever received. The love is so strong that I don't feel the negativity very long. The people around me, my family ,they ask how I am, how my day was. The best thing is I can talk everything and anything out with the people who love me. I tell them how someone or something that was said, made me feel. I get the love and reassurence I need to keep going in this world.
I tell you, the love is the one thing that keeps me going in this world. I don't know if I can describe the feeling I get from the people that just give out negativity, and racism. Do you know what it feels like not to have a voice, not to have the ability to tell people how you feel, or what you think of everything that is going on around you, and not being able to do something about it??
Invisible, that is one way to describe how I feel
People walk around you, and don't acknowledge that you are here, that you are a living being that has feelings.

Voy_Girl · **Sun Dec 22, 2002 8:09 am**

very nice:)

Lxe · **Sat Feb 01, 2003 1:49 pm**

Where do I start?? There is a void in my heart, a void at times would feel like an endless wormhole. There's so much work to be done, if this world is to be a peaceful place we would have to start with our values.
It's one thing to come to an understanding, and a total different thing to try and change someone's opinion. We have to work together to come to an understanding. Listening to people's opinion. Listen to both sides, wait until the person is done, not judging , not rewording what they say just listen. If you have questions ask, decisions can be made after all the information is given. now that's the hard part if you ask me, if you have a comment you want to say it, now the hard part is listening to the whole sentence before you start talking. If you want to say something you want to say it right then and there.
The pain I feel, how do I describe this?I am in longing. I've had to do with out love for a while. No one told me I was loved, no one told me I was cherished. This job is so hard, I have to deal with racism, biggotry, and the attitude that I can't do this right, the things people have to say are harsh. The ache I have comes from knowing that these people don't know what love feels like. They have a lot of pain and anger. My heart aches thinking about the fact that they we'rent shown love and support, they had to take care and fend for themselves. It hurts just thinking about what they go through. No one cares when they are hungry, no one cares when they are cold, no one cares when they are sick. It hurts to think that they had to deal with that on their own. No one has shown them any kind of support. my prayer for them is that they find peace.
That they fine what I have right now. My family has a lot of love. The first person who loved me is my mother. The connection between mother and daughter is so strong, it's unbreakable. The first one to show me love is my father. I knew, what ever I decided to do he would support me all the way. That encouragement is my foundation for this job I have. No matter what I do he supports me in any decision. The love my parents have for me brings my through the day, and fills the void for a little while until I go back to work I have peace in my heart.
The one thing that is truely hard is trusting. Friends now there is a lot to be said about that. Are they true friends or do they want or need something from you? I have to deal with this a lot. There are friends that are more associates, they are polite and they talk to you when they see you. And then there are friends that are there no matter what happens, they will support you until the end. They help you through when you need them the most. The hard part is knowing the difference and separating the two. Do you listen to your head or your heart?
One last thing. Love is in your heart, you love with your soul and you cherish the people you have in your life. Take time for your self. Your heart, soul and mind is the essence of you. I have to deal with this a lot. I've had people that wanted to tell me that I was the one that was blessed to have them in their lives, but they didn't cherish the things I have to say. They didn't respect or ask me who I am. The love that I have for certain people told me that they were worth the pain they cause. They said they loved me, but yet and still they respect and love themselves a lot more. They will tell you that they are sorry, they will tell you what you want to hear. But in the end they will do what's best for them.
Love yourself, think about what's best for you. all the love in this world you can find the love that is for you. Listen to your heart, it will tell you. Your heart beats for you, your soul is yours, your thoughts are yours. No one else can tell you what to think or how to feel. Your love for yourself will lift your heart, and free your soul from the bondage that holds you.

Voy_Girl · **Sat Feb 01, 2003 4:14 pm**

Very wise words!!!

Lxe · **Tue Feb 04, 2003 5:49 pm**

Ann thank you for your support.
oh the people and feed back here really makes me blush.
I'm mostly writing about what's in my heart and what I have to deal with.

Voy_Girl · **Wed Feb 05, 2003 3:05 pm**

Lxe · **Sun Feb 09, 2003 5:05 pm**

I've thought long and hard about things. what I came up with is that I'm making myself miserable. While I'm at work some people treated me like crap and judged me. I listen to it and I let that get to me. I'm sick of it, it if people don't like me I don't have to listen to what they have to say and I don't have to talk to them. right now I'm going to listen to my own advice.
I'm here for me, my heart beats for me, my soul is mine, my thoughts are mine. I might have to see them at work but I don't have to listen to them or talk to them while I'm off duty.
It really got to me a lot. I heard it enough to where I almost believed it. I can't do this right, I don't know what I'm talking about, my skin is too light, my skin is too dark, I don't look right. Not anymore, I'm not listening to it. they don't like me they don't have to talk to me I don't have to talk or listen to them. I can't let these people get to me anymore, that's it it's over.
I've been letting it get to me and it seems like it dictates my life. Actually listening to what people are saying, and building your life around it is not healthy I need to live my life my way.

Unashamed By Whitney Houston

If I changed my mind,
If I changed my faith,
every time a stop light signaled
each time I made mistakes
I don't think that I
would be where I am today
I live my life without regrets
what you see is
what you see is
what you see is what you get
And I'm

Chorus:
Unashamed of the life I lead
unashamed of the strength on my knees
of choices I've made,
of the love that I've saved
of the things I've done,
my belief in the One
Unashamed of the words of my friends,
I know who they are
make mistakes, make amends
follow my instincts, my star
on my sleeve I wear my heart
unashamed

Adding up my life, it totals all my dreams
I'm counting all my blessings
and the gifts I have received
Still there's always someone
something to overcome
Took all my life to understand
that I am what I am, who I am
unashamed

Unashamed of the life I lead
unashamed of the strength on my knees
of choices I've made,
of the love that I've saved
of the things I've done,
my belief in the One
Unashamed of the words of my friends,
I know who they are
make mistakes, make amends
follow my instincts, my star
on my sleeve I wear my heart
unashamed

(Do you)
do you wanna know how it goes?
Do you wanna control how I feel?
Do you wanna stay in my life?
Then listen here, and listen good,
you got to get it,
got to get it,
got to get it right!
Unashamed

Unashamed of the life I lead
unashamed of the strength on my knees
of choices I've made,
of the love that I've saved
of the things I've done,
my belief in the One
Unashamed of the words of my friends,
I know who they are
make mistakes, make amends
follow my instincts, my star
on my sleeve I wear my heart
unashamed
(say what you want)

Voy_Girl · **Mon Feb 10, 2003 3:54 pm**

Pretty!