"I Love You, Goodbye," (X-Files)

[PicardsTrueLove]

I've been desperately searching for feedback on these fanfics of mine: please someone who likes XF review this. I'll post it in chapters. Thank you sooooo much (in advance)

Title: I Love You, Goodbye

Rating: PG

Author: Dana Katherine Scully

Catagory: SRA

Keywords: MSR, Character Death, "Return of Mulder"

Spoilers: Requiem, Biogenesis-Amor Fati, En Ami, The
Jersey Devil

Feedback/Archiving: Email me for everything at
[email protected]. Chances are I'll say
yes!

Summary: When Mulder is returned, Scully is overjoyed.
However when she realizes that everything is not as it
seems, her future with Mulder looks grim.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mulder and Scully....yada yada
yada, the song "I Love You, Goodbye" belongs to Celine
Dion (Track 9 on her 1992 self-titled album; "Celine
Dion") even though I only stole the title. Don't sue
me, I'm broke and my parents can't handle the stress.

Author's Notes: Thank you to my mom, who is a wonderful
doctor and my scientific advisor on everything. I
already suspected all that medical stuff, but I had to
clarify. And, just so everybody knows, the limbic
system is a group of organs in the middle of the brain
between the two hemispheres. It helps with memory
making and emotional responses. The hippocampus is the
organ in the limbic system which receives new memories
and holds them until they can be transported to the
cortex for "long-term storage."


"I Love You, Goodbye"

J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building
March 21, 2001

When Agent John Doggett heard Dana Scully's footsteps
in the hallway outside his door, he sighed heavily for
the fifth time that morning. The night before, Doggett
had dreamed, very vividly, that Mulder would be back
that day. He hoped it was only a dream, for Scully's
sake.

When she finally burst into the office, her face was a
mask, but her eyes sparkled
hopefully. "Agent Doggett," she said, her voice
betraying some of her excitement.

"Yes?" he asked, hoping it wasn't true.

"They just found Agent Mulder."


Georgetown Memorial Hospital

"He just showed up in the hospital Miss Scully," said
the ICU doctor. "He doesn't
show signs of physical trauma, but he seems distant and
distracted. You may like to speak with him yourself, so
that you will understand what I mean."

Scully nodded, trying to keep the impending tears from
her eyes. <Damn pregnancy,> she thought. Her hormone
levels were all screwed up; her doctors said it might
have something to do with the fact that she had been
effectively barren before......well, before CSM took
her.

She walked into his room to find him sitting on his
bed, staring into space. "Mulder?" she whispered, her
voice cracking.

"Scully!" When Fox Mulder saw his partner for the first
time in months, he swore to himself that he had never
seen anything so beautiful. He jumped up from his bed
and wrapped his arms around her. Her body shook with
sobs, and he held her tightly. "Scully, oh God
Scully.." he whispered into her hair, dropping
butterfly kisses all over her face and neck.

"Mulder.." she whispered through her tears. <Oh thank
God,> she thought. <At least he recognizes me.> "Oh my
God."

They stood like that for a few moments, and then Mulder
pulled away and held her at arms length. He saw a
change in her face. Her normally rather round face
seemed to have gotten larger, but he attributed it to
her tears and ignored it for the moment. "I
um....Scully, I don't remember any of it. I can't... I
just can't remember anything past the forest in
Oregon."

Scully saw the pain in his eyes. "It's alright Mulder,
it's okay." She hugged him
again, briefly, and then said, "I have to sit down."
She walked over to a chair and plopped down in it,
sighing with relief as the tension on her ankles
subsided. Her blood pressure was way up, and her ankles
frequently swelled. Thankfully, Mulder hadn't noticed
yet.

Mulder looked at her and decided that she definitely
had gained weight. Her face was rounder, and she just
seemed....softer. Maybe she was...

"Agent Mulder," Doggett said as he walked into the
room. He extended a hand, and Mulder took it warily.

"Oh, Mulder this is.." Scully started. "Agent John
Doggett," Doggett finished. "I was assigned to the
X-Files right after you disappeared. It's good to see
you looking healthy."

Scully noticed that Mulder had started to tune Doggett
out. He seemed more distant now, as the doctor had
said. "Agent Doggett, could we be alone for a moment?"
she said, indicating Mulder as the other half of 'we.'
She had decided that Mulder's distance was probably due
to the fact that his partner had gained at least ten
pounds since the last time he had seen her.

Doggett noticed that it seemed very important to Scully
that he leave, so he did so without asking questions.

When they were alone again, Scully stood up again, and
walked over to Mulder. "Mulder I need to talk to you
about something that's becoming harder and harder for
me to ignore," she started. "I um...well, right after
you disappeared, I was hospitalized when I fainted
during one of those dizzy spells I had been having."

Mulder's face took on a look of extreme concern. "Was
it serious?" he asked, hoping that she wasn't about to
tell him that her cancer had relapsed. But weight gain
wasn't consistent with the progression of cancer, was
it? <Other illnesses that cause dizzy spells...> he
thought.

"Well, yes and no." Scully said. It was becoming harder
and harder by the minute to tell him the news.

"What do you mean Scully?"

She lowered her eyes momentarily, gathering her
strength."I'm pregnant."

Mulder's mouth dropped open in shock. "Say that again?"
he squeaked.

She looked back up at him, eyes full of tears. "I'm
pregnant," she said, louder.

Mulder backed up and fumbled onto his bed. "How...?"

She laughed mirthlessly, her eyes dark. "The good old
fashioned way, Mulder." She knew that wasn't what he
meant, but it seemed to answer the question of
paternity.

Mulder's eyes met hers. "Mine?"

"Yours."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Give me feedback I give you cyber-hug. Thank you!

[harry_kim]

Well written, I don't really like X-Files though.

[Chakotays Angel]

[/b] Very well written. I happen to like the X-files. So keep the good work

[PicardsTrueLove]

Here's the next installment! Thanks for the reply.

Dana Scully's Apartment
11:21 PM that evening

Scully sat on her couch, going over Mulder's medical
records. The facts that Doggett had brought to light at
the beginning of the search for Mulder glared up at
her, daring her to ignore them. She tried desperately,
but in the end, all she could do was cry. Mulder would
die, likely before their daughter was born. Last week
her OBGYN had told her the sex of the baby. She was
going to have a baby girl. But would her daughter's
father be there for her? For her prom? For her first
birthday even?

Scully put her head in her hands as deep, wracking sobs
shook her body. In her bedroom, she could hear Mulder's
quiet breathing, and it made her want to die with him.
She wouldn't accept his fate until the moment of its
realization, she decided.

Pulling herself up from the couch, Scully lumbered
slowly into the bedroom. Mulder's little snores
comforted her; he wasn't dead yet, and, knowing him, he
would go out fighting. She smiled, and curled up in a
ball against his front. His arms came around her
automatically--one hand on her swelling belly, one
under her face--and she fell into the rhythm of his
heartbeat. Almost immediately, she fell asleep.

Mulder was awakened the next morning by an annoying
alarm clock, which rang out at six-thirty. Scully was
still sleeping peacefully in his arms, and he quickly
reached over with his freer hand and swatted the clock
until it turned off. His hand
returned to her belly, and he sighed happily as he felt
their daughter move against him. His eyes closed
lazily, but his happiness was short lived. A splitting
headache
interrupted his relaxation, and the pain was so intense
that he gasped. Scully was awake in an instant.

"Mulder what's wrong?" she asked, scared for his
safety.

"My head..." he gasped out. "Oh my God, Scully..."

She looked at his eyes, but they were glazed with pain.
"Mulder I'm gonna call an
ambulance. Your temporal lobe may be flaring up."

He tried to protest, but he couldn't form words right.
He gave in to the pain, and let it carry him away.


Georgetown Memorial Hospital
A Few Days Later

Fox Mulder watched as Dana Scully held her head in her
hands as she paced back and forth down the hallway next
to Mulder's room. He had been admitted to the ER in
critical condition after a PET scan indicated that the
temporal lobe area was in fact showing more electrical
energy than when he had first been diagnosed with the
rare condition. Scully knew it didn't look good. They
were attempting to lower the electrical charge in the
brain by injecting him with high doses of phenatoin. He
responded to the treatment, but he could still hear the
voices. The only voice he could hear above the rest was
Scully's. Her thoughts came easily to him; she was
thinking about him, about his "condition," about a
treatment. Many of the words he heard were complicated
medical terms that he would normally ask her to
explain. He was content just to hear the murmur of her
thoughts inside his head, but one day he heard
something that knocked the fight back into him.

He was listening in on her latest treatment plan for
him when he saw Doggett walk into the room. He couldn't
read Doggett's mind very well; the man was rather
difficult to read as it was. But what he said to Scully
obviously upset her. Her thoughts became a jumbled,
angry mess. All he could hear was "I can't.." and "I
won't....up on...." He filled in the blanks with "do
that" and "give ....Mulder." He hoped he was right. As
he tried to disassemble her thoughts, they suddenly
stopped. She kept repeating one phrase inside her head;
"What will we do without you?"

<You'll have me Scully,> he promised. He felt something
like Rose on Titanic; he knew he'd never let go of that
promise.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Scully tried to comprehend what Doggett had just told
her. "Agent Mulder's doctor says that he will not be
able to continue phenatoin treatments without killing
him."

Her face clouded over, and she was silent for a moment.
Then she exploded with anger. She screamed "I won't
give up on him! Do you hear me?" Everyone in the room
and down the hallway had turned and stared at her, but
she didn't care. "Agent Doggett I know that you never
really had any respect for Agent Mulder, but you never
knew him like I did. And God dammit Doggett he has to
get through this! He WILL!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO
ME?!!! ALL OF YOU LISTEN TO ME!! AGENT MULDER WILL
LIVE, IF I HAVE TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU TO
ACHIEVE THAT GOAL!! Got it?"

She was still trying to digest what Doggett had told
her. She knew that he couldn't take any more phenatoin,
but she didn't know what else to do. She put her head
in her hands as her their daughter kicked at her womb.
"Shhhhhh, it's alright sweetheart, it's okay
Samantha..." <Oh my God,> she thought. <I just named
her.> Tears came to her eyes; tears of both joy and
despair. Skinner came over to her just as the first
escaped down her cheek.

"Agent Scully?" he began. "Agent Scully?"

She hadn't heard him the first time because of the
mantra she was repeating in her head; <What will we do
without him? What will we do without him?>

Skinner became concerned when Scully didn't respond to
him. "Agent," he said, touching her shoulder.


"Huh!" she started. The tears were streaming furiously
down her face, and she made a desperate attempt to wipe
them away. "Sir, I'm sorry....What is it?"

"Are you alright Agent Scully?" he asked, concern
making deep lines on his forehead and around his mouth.

"Yes sir," she confirmed, although she wasn't sure if
she was at all.

"Agent Scully, everyone here thinks you should go home
and get some rest," Skinner started.

"Sir," Scully interrupted. "Sir, I'm not going home. My
place is here." She turned on her heel and returned to
her chair by Mulder's bedside. Taking his limp hand in
hers, she tried, for the fourth time in the last hour,
to squeeze the life back into him. Tears were becoming
a constant, but she got no satisfaction from crying;
only a sickening sense that she was giving up.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

[janewaykat]

very well written

[PicardsTrueLove]

Thank you all: I'm so excited that someone is actually interested in reading this! I really should giv eit a complete overhaul: I like the story but my writing has improved so muhc since I wrote this...oh well. Thank you all for reading: I'm going to post the next installation now.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

When Mulder heard Scully name their daughter Samantha,
he wanted to laugh, cry, and take her into his arms and
kiss her hard. He knew that Samantha had become
Scully's sister as well, maybe like a daughter to her
even because they were so much alike. Sam had always
been an inquisitive girl; even the night she was taken
she had shown her tendency towards science. She refused
to watch the magic show that he had wanted so
desperately to see because she believed that it was all
bogus. When she had first heard the story of Santa
Claus, she took one look at Mom and said, "Mommy,
that's impossible." She was only three years old!

Scully looked at Mulder's face and thought she saw him
smile slightly. "Mulder?" she whispered, touching his
face. "Mulder?" He didn't move, but she was sure that
she hadn't imagined the momentary upward twitch turn
of his lip. Her resolve not to give up strengthened.

As Scully squeezed her partner's hand again, the door
to the room burst open, admitting Alex Krycek. "Hello
everybody," he said as he clicked off the safety on his
9 mm. "Looks like I'm late for the party."

Scully wheeled around and stared him in the eye. "What
the hell are you doing here?" she hissed, eyes blazing.


"Ooohhh, I'm intimidated," Krycek said mockingly. He
pointed the gun at Scully's head. "Not so confident
now, are we Agent Scully."

Krycek walked casually over to Scully, gun leading. "I
hope you were enjoying lover-boy's company, 'cause
that's all going straight to hell." He turned the gun
to Mulder's head, and said, "Don't even think about
pulling your weapon Scully; I'm not in a merciful
mood."

"Put it down Krycek!" Skinner yelled from the doorway.
He pointed his gun at Krycek, who immediately moved to
kill Mulder. A gun went off; Scully couldn't tell
which. Suddenly, Krycek fell back against her, his limp
body weighing down on her and his traitor's blood
staining her white blouse.. "Jesus Christ," she
whispered.

The medical staff sprung into action, lifting Krycek's
limp body onto a gurney to take him to the OR. One of
the nurses got on the phone and warned the on call ER
doc that he had a man coming in with extreme trauma and
an operation in his near future. Scully ran with the
gurney as it was transported down the hall. She was
pregnant, but in great shape due to her obsessive
compulsive running. She felt wrong if she didn't run
every day, so she ran three miles daily.

When they arrived in the OR, the on call doctor had
assembled a surgical team, who immediately put Krycek
under and began working to stabilize his vitals and
extricate the bullet from his side. As she watched,
Scully tried to decide whether she wanted him to live
so that she could beat the hell out of him, or if she
wanted him to die so that she didn't have to. <Why was
he here in the first place?> she suddenly thought.

The surgical team had stripped him of his clothes
before they began operating, and a nurse had taken them
to a room not far from there. Scully left the operating
room, hurriedly washing her hands on the way out. She
rushed down to the room where Krycek's clothes had been
deposited, and frantically searched all of his pockets.
In one she found a small syringe and a vial of clear
fluid. Wrapped around it was a small piece of paper
with unfamiliar writing on it.

"4 mg into the left temple."


She looked disbelievingly at the vial for several
seconds, then rushed back to Mulder's room.


Somewhere in the forests of Virginia

Marita Covarrubius sat at her desk, typing up a journal
entry. "March 28, 2001. Today I saved Agent Mulder's
life."

She stopped and reread the brief sentence she had
wrote, then deleted it and started again. "March 28,
2001. Today I put Agent Mulder's life in the hands of
the most untrustworthy man in the world." Once again
she reread her statement, and decided it fit much
better with what she was trying to say. She continued
her entry.

"I put Alex Krycek in charge of saving Agent Mulder's
life by delivering a 'cure' for his mysterious illness
to Agent Scully. I must say I feel sorry for Agent
Scully. She carries his child inside of her, and there
will be nothing unnatural done to terminate the
pregnancy. On the contrary, measures have already been
taken to speed it up. The child is all-important to the
Project; without her it will go up in flames. Lighter
fluid has already been poured over the Project; the
death of CGB Spender has proven the potential catalyst.
The death of Agent Mulder will be more than enough to
expose our work and everything that we have tried to
create, effectively burning it to the ground. I hope
Krycek doesn't try anything funny."


Georgetown Memorial Hospital

Dana Scully rushed into Mulder's room, clutching the
precious vial to her chest. Skinner rushed over to her.
"Agent Scully where have you been?" he asked, a sense
of urgency she couldn't deny in his voice.

"I was checking in on Krycek. It doesn't look like
he'll make it out of the woods." She showed him the
antidote. "I found this in Krycek's coat pocket. I
believe that it can save Mulder's life."

Skinner looked down at the floor. "Agent Scully," he
whispered. "Agent Scully, he's slipped into a coma.
They don't think he'll wake up. He may have only hours
left to live."

Inside her head, Scully started to scream loud and
long. All she could manage to choke out was, "He's not
going to die."

Skinner watched her as she turned and walked back to
Mulder's side. He saw her take his hand and stroke it
tenderly, whispering to him. He couldn't look at them
like this, and he turned away.

Scully took Mulder's hand and ran her thumb gently
across the back of it. "Mulder, I found something in
Krycek's coat pocket that might save your life," she
whispered, one perfect tear sliding down her cheek and
landing on his hand. She knew he couldn't hear her, he
was in a coma for God's sake, but she had to tell him
anyway. "I'm trying to save your life, okay?"

She took out the syringe, sobs shaking her body. She
filled it to exactly 4 ccs, and drew a deep breath.
Before she injected it into him, she leaned down and
whispered into his ear, "I love you Mulder." Another
tear drop landed on his cheek, and she lovingly brushed
it away. Then, inhaling sharply, she injected the
liquid into his left temple as instructed.

Almost instantly, his eyes fluttered open. "Scully?" he
whispered through cracked lips.

"Mulder!" she sobbed, leaning down and holding him
tight. "Oh God."

She stood up and pressed a kiss against his dry lips,
some of her Vaseline rubbing off on him. "That's
better," he mumbled, smiling faintly.

He tried to sit up, but Scully laid a hand on his
shoulder to push him back down. "Mulder you're sick.
Get some rest okay?"

He smiled faintly. "Yes Dr. Scully," he quipped.

Her half smile lightened his heart, and he smiled back.
"Looks like I'm laid up for days, huh."

"Yep. Days Mulder. Days."

[Chakotays Angel]

More your doing a super job

[PicardsTrueLove]

The nex installment!! ::dun dun duuuuuuuun::
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A Few Hours Later

"Mulder?" Scully cooed softly. His eyes slowly opened.

"Scully?"

"Mmmm."

"How am I doing?" Mulder sat up in bed. By now Scully
had given up on making him lie down; deciding that it
really wasn't worth the effort.

"Your vitals are all okay. I checked with your doctors;
they're going to run a PET scan today to make sure that
your temporal lobe activity is normal." Scully sighed
and sat down.

Mulder took her hand. "How are you doing?" he asked
quietly.

Scully looked down at the floor. "I have an appointment
with my OB-GYN later today. I feel fine; a little sick,
perhaps, but nothing serious or unexpected." She looked
back up at him. "I um...I named her."

Mulder nodded, as his eyes filled with tears. "I know."

Scully was shocked. "How?" she asked, unbelieving.
Kritschgau had said that he could read minds, but she
hadn't believed him. Now, his statement came as a
shock.

"When I started getting headaches; when this first
started, I would hear voices in my head. I thought I
was crazy, but I was able to read thoughts." Mulder
looked over at Scully's incredulous expression and
pleaded, "Don't dismiss the facts Scully; I didn't
believe it any more than you do. But how would I know
that you named our daughter Samantha?"

Scully gasped. "Oh my God," she whispered. The tears
that she was now constantly on the verge of spilled out
yet again, but this time, Mulder could take her into
his arms. How she loved him. It was overwhelming, this
feeling. Her stomach fluttered; butterflies lending her
their grace. Samantha kicked happily, and Scully was
almost sure she'd heard a little gurgle. She smiled
despite her tears, feeling Mulder's strong hand on her
stomach and Samantha kicking her daddy.

Mulder chuckled. "I never realized how much life was
worth," he said over Scully's shoulder. "I always felt
it was expendable; not worth much in the grand scheme
of things. There was the Truth, that was my life. I had
no real appreciation for everything that I saw around
me. Did you know, Scully, that I never stopped to smell
a flower as a kid? Samantha.....Samantha used to smell
all kinds of flowers." He began to cry on her shoulder.
She could feel his salty tears through her white
maternity blouse and she tightened her hold on him;
mothered him. Sam kicked against her again, and she
shushed her daughter and her lover alike.

"Shhhhh, it's alright Mulder. You're not gone yet,"
Scully assured him. "Hush...shhh," she cooed.

"Scully," he whispered, pulling back and looking into
her eyes. They were an amazingly bright shade of green;
Mulder noticed that her normally blue eyes turned green
when she was angry or upset. "Scully, I want to take
advantage of life with you and Sam. Please, please help
me to live again," he said.

His pleading expression broke Scully's heart, but he
gave her no time to confirm her agreement. Taking her
face in his hands, he crushed his lips to hers, his
tongue firmly but gently taking control of her mouth.

Scully's strangled sigh turned a few heads, but they
all quickly turned away when they realized what was
going on. The only one who couldn't turn away was
Skinner, whose shocked expression would have given
Mulder a fatal attack of hysterical laughter, had his
eyes not been closed in concentration. He wanted
to drive Scully mad, even if it was in the middle of a
crowded hospital room. Hey, ever since he was a kid he
had wanted to kiss someone passionately in a crowded
room like they did on TV.

Scully's rational mind had been thrown to the wind as
soon as her hormone levels had freaked out, so she was
thoroughly enjoying this...what did Trent call
it?...PDA: Public Display of Affection. She almost
chuckled to herself thinking of her godson. She
remembered his sixth birthday party in '93; the one
where she had met that God-awful divorced father who
couldn't even carry on a conversation over dinner. And
now, this year he would be turning 14. It was amazing
watching him grow up; watching him struggle through
seventh grade. His girlfriend, a girl name Maggie whom
Dana had never met in person, was big on PDAs.


When they finally broke apart, she smiled at him and
kissed his forehead. The head doctor approached them
rather uncomfortably and said, "Mr. Mulder, we'll be
taking you down for a PET scan now. We're hoping the
activity in your brain has calmed down."

"I have to go to my appointment Mulder, but I'll be
right back if everything's alright." She squeezed his
hand. "Good luck."

He smiled after her as she left, and he was wheeled off
down the hall.


Somewhere in the forests of Virginia

Marita Covarrubius had received some information from
an unknown source that Alex Krycek was in critical
condition. Her mind told her not to care; that it was
inconsequential to her. But her heart, which he had
broken then stomped all over, still belonged to him.
<Oh hell,> she thought. <I might as well tell him, even
though he's selfish, unfeeling bastard.>

Out the door she went.


Georgetown Memorial Hospital
That night

Scully walked into the lab, a growing sense of
apprehension in her belly. "What did you find?" she
asked the doctor who greeted her.

"Well," the doctor said, "We couldn't finished the
battery of tests because Agent Mulder started to fight
us. When he had calmed down, he told us he didn't
remember any of his strange actions. I had him put in
restraints; he attacked an orderly a few hours ago."

Scully's face turned pale. "Any indication of increased
electrical activity in his temporal lobe?" she asked,
hoping the answer was no.

"Yes and no. From the images we got, we were able only
to see his temporal lobe from one side; the right. Now
I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but it looks
as if he may have an advanced growth in his right
temporal lobe."


Scully's face fell. "A tumor?" she managed to squeak
out.

The doctor nodded slowly. "You should take a look at
the images yourself. We're having some difficulty
determining what it is; we'll have to get some X-rays
to better determine the placement." He walked over to
the computer, pulled up a file, and beckoned Scully to
come see.

Her heart fell to the floor. There was an area of
highly increased electrical activity in his temporal
lobe, just as the doctor had said. But instead of it
being everywhere as before, it was in a mass about 2
centimeters in diameter, indicating a brain tumor.
"Well we'll have to run some tests," Scully conceded.
"The placement of the tumor suggests that it may be
operable."

The doctor looked at her strangely. "Miss Scully, the
placement of the tumor makes it nearly impossible
without severe consequences. It's right next to the
limbic system. We couldn't remove it without damaging
his hippocampus."

Scully sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. I feel trapped. My
um...my daughter won't have a father if we can't get
rid of this thing."

Before she burst into tears, Scully left the room to
regain her composure. Then she started down the hall
towards Mulder's room.

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X

[Voy_Girl]

I haven't seen the show itself, though this is a great story! Like your writing style too!

[PicardsTrueLove]

Thank you! Numero cinq is here!


Alex Krycek's ICU bed

Marita Covarrubius looked down at Krycek's unmoving
form. He was in a coma, and it didn't look like he'd
make it out of the woods. Tears formed in her eyes, but
she brushed them away impatiently. "Selfish bastard,"
she whispered.


Mulder's room

"Scully?" he asked pitifully. "Why are they restraining
me?"

She sighed. "Mulder you attacked an orderly earlier
today."

"What?" he asked, disbelieving.

"Dr. Kaiser told me. He said that you didn't remember
anything afterwards."

"That's ridiculous, Scully."

She averted her eyes, then met his again. "Mulder you
may have a brain tumor."

"What?" he exclaimed.

"I confirmed it myself Mulder; we hadn't seen it before
because of your other condition."

"Is it operable?" he asked, still shocked.

She looked up at him. "Not without serious
consequences."

"But it can be done." It was a statement, not a
question.

"Mulder I'm not sure. Speak with your doctor about it.
We're going to run some X-rays tomorrow, and maybe
we'll have a better idea of what it is that we're
looking at here." She got up to go, but Mulder stopped
her.

"Scully what did your doctor say?"

Scully shivered slightly. "She said that Samantha has
been showing signs of rapid growth, and that she would
be a healthy baby, but that I'll be delivering within
two months if Sam follows the growth pattern she's been
following."

Mulder blinked back tears. "They couldn't just leave us
alone, could They Scully."

She nodded slowly, then left for her apartment.


Georgetown Memorial Hospital
X-ray room
The Next Day

Scully watched Mulder get the X-rays taken through the
glass window in the room. Her face was a mask of
professionalism. Skinner was amazed at her newly
regained composure despite her hormone levels. He had
always known that Scully would never be the same
after Mulder' return; her professional reputation was
already irreparably damaged, and the rest of her life
would be very strange, with her daughter never meeting
her father. He didn't even want to think about it.

Scully's professional facade was what she called auto
piolet. She hadn't kept her emotions in check during
her search for Mulder because they seemed to help her
out when dealing with some of the idiots she was forced
to deal with on a regular basis. They also worked on
John Doggett; she thought she had lost all sex appeal
when the rumors about herself and Mulder had begun in
their first year together, but John Doggett was still
reduced to a pitiful little man when she cried or went
off on him. It was interesting the way he reacted to
her; as if he felt inferior. <Suffer, victim,> she
thought.

Mulder wore a mask of indifference, but behind it he
showed all the signs of becoming a raving lunatic. It
was very likely, he concluded, that he would die before
Sam was born; before he got a chance to see his sister
in the form of his daughter. Knowing this added an
extra burden to an already heavy bundle. He wanted so
badly for everything to be alright, but he knew that it
couldn't as long as he was who he was.

When the X-ray battery was complete, Scully waited
impatiently for the images to be developed. When they
were, she saw confirmed what she had already suspected:
Mulder had a brain tumor. It was a large mass between
his limbic system and the right portion of his cortex.
There seemed to be no way to operate without severely
damaging the limbic system, effectively rendering
Mulder without short-term memory.

Mulder walked in as Scully continued to stare
disbelievingly at the X-ray. "Scully?"

"Mulder. It's confirmed, I guess," she said quietly.
Scully had a very strong sense of deja-vu, and
remembered that this was the same room where she had
told Mulder about her own cancer. <But you lived,
Dana,> she thought bitterly.

Mulder had very bad memories of this room. Scully's
announcement four years ago still haunted him,
especially because she seemed so calm while he was
crumbling inside. "Well, what are the risks of an
operation?" he asked. His sense of urgency had
increased, because of Scully's....condition. It was
becoming very obvious that Sam was growing much, much
faster than normal. Scully had started buying her new
maternity clothes in nine month size because she knew
they would fit her in about a week. Every day she
looked bigger. She was lucky that she was in such good
shape; any other woman would have been bedridden.

"Mulder, I won't risk an operation. It would cause
permanent damage to your short term memory banks, and
to your emotional centers. The only way we can try to
treat this is with radiation and chemotherapy, and I
don't even know how well we'll do!" She realized that
she was shouting at him, and bit her lip to keep her
voice in check. "I'm sorry. Damn hormones," she
mumbled.

Mulder took a step towards her and placed his hand on
her expanding stomach. He could swear he could almost
feel it getting bigger. "Scully, I would walk through
hell to survive this thing. Tell me what I need to do;
I'll do it."

"Mulder, you have cancer. Cancer can't be cured like a
cold; there's nothing we can do that's certain." She
felt Samantha moving within her, and decided that she
definitely was getting big. <This is going to get
painful,> she thought. Her sharp remark had hurt
Mulder, she saw, but Sam's movement had dulled the
pain. He was fascinated with the life they had created.

"Scully, I will be there when she's born, I promise,"
he said quietly.

"I know Mulder," Scully sighed. "But what about after
that?"


A Month Later

Scully had decided that chemotherapy wasn't going to
help Mulder very much, so she had the doctors use a
high-density radiation treatment which singled out the
tumor. The idea was to concentrate a thin but extremely
"toxic" beam of radiation into the tumor. It was more
precise than conventional radiation, and required only
two treatments. The first time he received showed him
how painful it could be, but the treatment seemed to
have an effect; after a week, the tumor began to
shrink.

At her next appointment, Scully was told by her doctor
that Samantha would be fully developed and turned in
about a week, consistent with the original projection.
Meaning that Scully and Mulder were prepared at any
time for Scully to go into labor. Scully called her mom
and informed her of the events of the past month, and
told her that she was due in only a week.

Mulder convinced her to go to a class for new parents,
and it turned out to be a welcome break from the
hospital room. They also learned some good delivery
tips, which Scully took with a grain of salt. She
wasn't sure if she wanted an epidural, but with
Samantha being a big baby, Mulder was convinced that
she should have one. He said that if she was in too
much pain, his own pain would double. She had smiled at
that remark; cancer had made him a much more
sentimental person. His quest had been put on hold
until he could recover, and it forced him to find
things to do with himself.

He had been put in a nice, sunny private room; partly
due to the fact that the medical staff knew them so
well. It was, coincidently, only a two minute walk from
there to the maternity ward.

Skinner checked in on them every day, usually after
work. He told Mulder repeatedly that he was sorry about
the way he had treated him, as if he was dead already.
Scully had taken him aside and reminded him that her
partner was very much alive, and that if the tumor
kept responding to the radiation, he would be fine.

Mulder had lost a lot of weight because of his
treatments, but he always joked that the extra twenty
Scully had added to her small frame made up for the ten
that he had lost. Scully almost punched him for that
remark; instead she just said, "It's not fair!"

A week after Mulder's radiation treatments, Scully was
taking a shower in the hospital bathroom when her water
broke. "Oh God." She was more exasperated than anything
else. "Mulder, my water broke!" she called.

He was by her side when the first real contraction
started. "Oh owww!" she gasped, doubled over. Poor
Mulder was in a panic. He wasn't used to seeing Scully
reacting to pain unless it was really bad, and
apparently he had missed the part of pregnancy that
included a painful delivery process.

"Okay Scully, let's go; walk slowly now..." Apparently
he had forgotten the part about putting on clothes
before you exit the bathroom and wander down the
hallway, which Scully had to remind him about. He was
envious of her coolness, even as another contraction
hit her as she tried to pull on her skirt.

"Ouch!" she cried, laughing. "Sam, come on, Mommy's
gotta get dressed first."

Mulder watched his partner with disbelief. The poor
woman was going through some pretty painful
contractions, and yet she was laughing and looked
better than he'd seen her in years. He himself didn't
feel so good anyway lately, the radiation treatment
wasn't exactly wonderful for what remained of his
headaches. And here he was, trying to help his wife (he
had already started to think of her as such) get
through labor, and she was doing a better job herself!

When Scully finally got dressed, she and Mulder walked
relatively quickly down the hall to the maternity ward.

[Voy_Girl]

Still good

[Chakotays Angel]

Fantastic more

[PicardsTrueLove]

Ooooo people looooooooooooooove me ::floats off on looooooooooooove cloud:: Here's the next installment!

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X

Later that night

Mulder called Maggie Scully from Scully's bedside,
telling her the news. "Yeah, she's not really
proceeding to quickly right now, but she wants both of
us here before the thick of it."

"Let me talk to her," Maggie asked, pride in her eyes.

Mulder handed the phone to his partner, who he was
walking up and down the hall. "Scully, your mom."

She smiled and took the phone from him. "Hi mom," she
said, grateful to hear her mom's voice.

"How are you doing Dana?" Maggie asked.

"Well, as of right now, not to bad all things OW!
considered," she gasped. "Ouch!" she exclaimed. "Mom,
you better get down here double time."


"I'm coming Dana. Hold on sweetheart."

Maggie hung up, Mulder took Scully's arm, and they
resumed their pacing.


An Hour Later

Maggie had been at the hospital for almost forty five
minutes, but Dana hadn't seemed to make any progress
while she was there. Dana was now lying down, a cup of
ice on her stomach. When a contraction hit she would
squeeze Mulder's hand as if her life depended on it,
and he would lean down and kiss her forehead, then
pretend to scold Samantha for hurting her mom. "As soon
as you're born you're going into a year-long time out!"
he would scold, directing his comments at Scully's
burgeoning belly.

Maggie watched the couple happily, helping Dana when
she needed it. However she had begun to worry. Because
of the lack of progress, Dana was extremely tired
already, and she was going to have no energy left for
the actual birth.

Under cover of getting more ice (which she did anyway)
Maggie went to talk to Dana's doctor about giving her
something to speed up her labor. She had reasonably
concluded that Dana's body wasn't entirely ready to go
through with the labor because of the decreased
gestation time of her daughter. The doctor had already
warned Dana about this complication, so she agreed to
have it done.

Mulder couldn't understand why they had to drug Scully
so that her labor would proceed faster. She was already
in enough pain! "Scully why are they drugging you up,
huh?" he said, only half joking.

"Mulder I'm not quite going as fast as OW!!!" she
screamed, grabbing his hand in a death grip. "Jesus!
Ouch!"

Poor Mulder. Having never had the opportunity to see a
woman give birth, he was terrified that Scully was
being hurt more than necessary. "Scully," he asked,
somewhat sheepishly. "Is it supposed to hurt this
much?"

His lost expression made her smile. "Mulder, I'm doing
a lot better than some, trust OW!!! sorry, trust me."
She squeezed his hand again. "But I'll tell you this;
I'll never again complain about having a cold."

Mulder smiled. Scully thought it was normal, therefore,
he believed it was normal too. And it was.


An Hour Later

"Alright let's get her to delivery," the doctor said.
Scully smiled at her partner, even though she couldn't
really concentrate on anything but how much her bottom
half hurt.

"Here we go," Mulder whispered to her as he followed
them down the hall. Her hand remained clamped over his
left; before it had been his right, but she had
squeezed it so hard that three of his fingers were
broken and bent in various unnatural directions. It
hurt, but he wasn't willing to let it get to him.

She nodded, unable to speak. When they finally got into
the delivery room, things went very smoothly. It seemed
like no time at all before she was resting comfortably,
breast-feeding her daughter and crying hysterically.
She was so beautiful; even if she did have an unruly
tuft of dark hair.

Mulder's own face was covered with tears. Mrs. Scully
had held Samantha right after Dana, because she had to
get home so that Charlie wouldn't drive up to his mom's
house empty. After she left, Mulder and Scully had been
left alone with their daughter. Watching Scully
breast-feed their baby girl was amazing. He had never
seen anything like mother and daughter together at
last. She looked up at him, immutable joy shining
brilliantly from her eyes, and said, "She's done. I
need some sleep; will you hold her and put her to
sleep?"

Mulder smiled as she handed him their daughter. She was
beautiful, even if her nose was slightly too large for
her face. Her mother's eyes and pale skin glowed
underneath her dad's hair and mouth. She wasn't crying
or fussing, merely enjoying being with her parents.
Mulder held her tenderly, supporting her flimsy neck,
and rocked her as he whispered a lullaby in his low,
gravely voice. "Hushaby, don't you cry/Go to sleep
little baby/When you wake/You shall take/All the pretty
little horses/Blacks and bays/Dapples and grays/All the
pretty little horses/Hushaby, don't you cry/Go to sleep
little baby." As her perfect little eyes closed, he
knew that he would do anything for his daughter.

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X

Aaaaaaawww. Babies!

[janewaykat]

very goo9d

[PicardsTrueLove]

Here's the next installment. (You didn't think it would end in a happy spot did you?)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week later

Scully stood outside the radiation therapy room, on the
radiation oncology floor. She was holding her daughter,
Samantha Ellen Mulder, in one arm, and in the other
hand she held a large diaper bag. Watching Mulder go
through the radiation therapy was a nerve-wracking
experience; after this treatment, if the cancer
survived, they could do nothing else for him. Samantha
seemed to be concentrating on her Daddy just as hard as
her Mommy, and the quizzical expression on her face
made Skinner smile.

Samantha was a beautiful baby, Skinner noticed. She
seemed to have inherited the best traits from both of
her parents, and knowing them, she would be one hell of
a student. It tore him up to see Mulder and Scully
having to go through this; both of them had large bags
under their eyes from lack of sleep. Scully's maternity
leave was supposed to allow her some time to relax, but
with Mulder in the hospital it just ended up taking
more out of her. Bill's son was in the hospital with
meningitis, so Mrs. Scully wasn't available for
baby-sitting. They were going to release Mulder from
the hospital after this treatment, so he could
hopefully go home and help Scully out.

As the large machine circled around his head, Mulder
felt a tremendous sense of foreboding. Scully had told
him that if this treatment failed, the cancer would
progressively invade his body and eventually kill him.
She said that if the tumor responded as well to the
treatment this time around as last time, then there
should be no problem, but what if it didn't? How was
Scully going to explain to Sam what had happened to her
father? He had made out his will and left everything of
sentimental value to Scully, and everything of value to
his work to the Gunmen with strict instructions NOT to
look at it until Scully had seen it and felt confident
that she knew the information.

Finally, the machine stopped moving, and the nausea he
always experienced after therapy took over. He nodded
towards the bathroom, and Scully nodded back, as a sort
of "We'll meet you there." She walked over to the
bathroom and walked in to change Sam's diaper. Mulder
joined them a minute later, and his vomiting into the
toilet made the baby cry. "Shhh, it's okay Sam, shhh,
don't worry." A little lullaby came to mind.

"Lullaby
And goodnight
In the sky stars are bright
Round your head
Flowers gay
Set your slumbers till day

"Lullaby
And goodnight
In the sky stars are bright
Round your head
Flowers gay
Set your slumbers till day

"Close your eyes
Now and rest
May these hours be blessed
Close your eyes
Now and rest
May these hours be blessed."

Sam's eyes drifted closed as Scully hummed to tune
softly. Mulder watched, entranced, as his normally
professional partner lulled their daughter to sleep. He
had never really thought about the wonderful nature of
parenthood, he had only considered the screaming, the
whining, crying, boo boos, Halloween costumes;
everything that could possibly go wrong. He had never
seen the beautiful side of it. Oh well, he'd get to
know it well, he hoped.


Dana Scully's Apartment

She couldn't believe it. She had just received the
X-rays in the mail, and her mouth had fallen open in
shock. The tumor was getting bigger. It wasn't going
into remission as they had hoped; Mulder's night
sweats and frequent headaches were due to the tumor's
rapid growth. There was nothing they could do, no
treatment in sight. He was going to die.

She expected tears, hoped for them, but all she could
feel was dull shock. Sam could feel the change in her
mom, Scully had become more automatic, fulfilling her
duties as a mother without any emotion. Samantha had
become more irritable, more easily excited. Mulder had
just started to wither. He lost weight at an amazing
pace; his thick, strong arms went limp. He became a
ghost of his former self; a haunted shell.

Scully had become her worst fear: a women in extreme
shock. <There's nothing, it's over,> she screamed
inside her head. Mrs. Scully came over to take care of
the baby, and Scully just lay next to Mulder all day,
feeling her life leave with his. Months passed, but all
she could do was lay beside him and feel his pain.

The days passed slowly, without end, but one day her
mother came to the house with someone else. "Dana!" she
called, in a falsely cheerful voice. "Dana, I'm here!
I've brought someone to see you and Fox!"

Dana Scully pulled herself out of bed, realizing that
the twenty pounds she had gained during her pregnancy
had vanished, along with an added fifteen. She was down
to an extremely unhealthy weight of 90 pounds; her skin
clung to her bones, making her sunken face and defeated
eyes stand out; making her a skeleton. She walked out
to the front hall slowly, feeling how much her
nightgown sagged off of her skin. Standing behind her
mother in the door was Father McCue.

"Dana, I went out and bought two rings, one in your
size and one in Fox's. I brought Father McCue along to
ah, to marry you." She looked at her defeated daughter,
her eyes reflecting Dana's own hopelessness.

Father McCue stepped in, his kind face not betraying
his shock at seeing Dana Scully, the strong one, like
this. Her eyes filed with tears when her mother told
her why he was here, and he could barely escape crying
himself.

"Oh Mom," Dana whispered, falling into her mother's
arms. "Mom, I'm so scared."

Maggie felt her daughter's tears on her shoulder, and
wet herself. "I am too Dana. I am too."

Somehow, Mulder had managed to pull his shell of a self
out of bed, and was walking with some difficulty down
the hall. He saw Scully and her mother crying together,
and felt more hopeless than ever. He knew that he was
dying; he could feel it. He had known it that morning.

When he woke up to find Scully gone, he crawled out of
bed and limped over to Samantha's crib. He had intended
to pick her up and hold her close, just as he had
wanted to do for so long. But when she opened her eyes
and saw him, she let out a scream of terror. He was so
far gone that his own daughter was frightened of him.
That had broken his heart; had killed any spark that
was still living inside of him. His own daughter, the
daughter he had pledged his life too, was afraid of
him. His whole world fell apart that morning; his heart
had died and his soul along with it.

Samantha didn't know him anymore; Samantha couldn't see
that he couldn't live without her love. He was lost, a
hopeless wanderer on a barren plain. His heart and soul
torn from his shell of a body, all he had left was his
impending death. He had gone to find Scully, to tell
her that he had nothing left, when he saw her crying
with her mother in the hall. "Scully?" he had
whispered, his once smooth voice ravaged by pain and
knowledge of his fate.

She turned and saw him standing there, a hopeless look
in his eyes. All she could see was him, her partner,
her lover, and her best friend. All she could see was
all those things being stolen from her, like precious
gems from the mine of her now fragile heart. "Mulder,"
she replied, walking over to him. She stood on tip toe
and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth; the mouth once
so beautiful and now so shriveled and hopeless.
"Mulder, Mom brought the man who you met earlier,
Father McCue. She um, she also brought rings and a
marriage license."

Mulder realized what she was trying to say, and some
hope returned. "Scully, I would be honored," he
whispered, his lip trembling. He was becoming extremely
tired standing on his feet, but he held out for
Scully's sake.

"Mulder I love you," she whispered back, her tears not
able to hide her small smile from Mulder. He collapsed
into her arms, eyes closed happily. His headache was
constant now, but he tried not to pay attention to it
during this sacred moment. Father McCue took Mrs.
Scully's hand as she burst into tears, and he let her
take some comfort in his strong facade.


Finally he said to Mulder and Scully, "I know that this
may not seem conventional but um, would you" -he nodded
towards Mulder -"like to hold your daughter during your
marriage?"

Mulder's eyes filled with tears, and he turned to
Scully. "Samantha's afraid of me," he confessed to
Scully. "I wanted to hold her this morning, but she was
afraid of me."

His tears spilled over, and Scully stood up and kissed
them away. "Mulder, you're her father. She will never,
ever forget you; I won't let her, okay?" With one final
kiss, she walked over to Samantha's room. Mulder could
hear her cooing softly to her baby as she (presumably)
dressed her up and quickly fed her.

During this time, Mrs. Scully took the opportunity to
give Fox a big hug and a kiss. "Fox, you have always
been my son. Never, ever will that change."

He smiled at her, wishing that his own Mother had felt
the same way. "Thank you Mom," he said. The title lit
up Maggie's face, and, frankly, Mulder felt better too.

Scully carried Sam into the room. Sam's smile at seeing
her grandma was short lived, when she saw Mulder she
screamed again. "Shhh, it's alright Sam," Dana cooed.
She handed the baby to Mulder. She screamed even more,
and Mulder's expression broke everyone's heart. "Sam,
it's Daddy Samantha. Shhhh," she cooed, more softly.

"Samantha," Mulder whispered, his voice cracking. She
stopped wailing abruptly, as if she had heard something
in the distance. He saw his advantage, and started to
rack her as he sang.

"Hushaby, don't you cry
Go to sleep little baby
When you wake
You shall take
All the pretty little horses

"Blacks and bays
Dapples and grays
All the pretty little horses

"Hushaby, don't you cry
Go to sleep little baby."


He was relieved and overjoyed when Sam looked up at
him, an expression of understanding on her face, and
gurgled, "Dada." The fingers that had been in her mouth
came out and grabbed her Dada's nose.

He smiled at her, his happiness apparent, and leaned in
and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "Right back atcha'," he
whispered.

Sam giggled at him, and Scully saw Mulder's pitifully
shriveled, defeated face light up joyfully. He balanced
the baby on his right hip, and said, "Father, I believe
I have been blessed."

With that, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder were married. The
short little ceremony fulfilled Dana's hope that they
would be bound for eternity, and Mulder felt like the
luckiest man alive. Shortly afterward, however, he had
to give in to his fatigue and fell asleep on the couch,
Sam asleep on his chest.

Scully looked lovingly at the pair, both drooling and
snoring, and then thanked her mom and Father McCue for
their genius. She also sent her mother home for a
much-needed break, and decided that she was going to
start eating again, even though food didn't really
appeal to her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'll post the last bit later tonight.

[Voy_Girl]

Great.. Great.. Great!!
Too bad this show is braodcasted like 12 at night where I live..

[PicardsTrueLove]

mmm where I live too. I saw it while it was still on the air: such a wonderful show. You can rent the VHS tapes at the video store: they only have the "best" (not really) of each season. It's enough to keep you updated on the mythology though.

Alright here's the last installment ::dun dun DUN::

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Week Later
11:21 P.M.

Dana Scully woke up with a sickening feeling that
something was very wrong. When she awoke she
immediately checked on Sam, but her daughter was
sleeping peacefully. As she crawled back into bed, she
realized that Mulder was struggling to breathe.
"Mulder!" she said, her voice conveying her panic.
"Mulder!" she said louder, shaking him in a desperate
attempt to stop the horrible sounds he was making.

"Scully," he rasped, his mouth barely moving. "Scully,
please help Sam remember me," he pleaded. "Please don't
let her forget me."

Her heart stopped, then began again at a rate of about
8,000 beats per millisecond. "Mulder listen to me.
You're not going to die now, do you hear me Fox? YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO DIE!" she screamed, losing all control.
Sam started to cry hysterically, but all she could do
was shake him more. "Mulder?" she pleaded, choked with
sobs. "Mulder!"

He nodded, his breath slowing. "Bring Sam, the baby's
crying," he whispered, eyes fluttering helplessly. "Let
me say goodbye, please."

The horror that overtook her was beyond anything she
ever felt capable of feeling. It blinded her with age
and sorrow. She tried to comply, but her legs didn't
seem to be working. His shaking hands were increasing
her sense of urgency, and finally she frantically
scrambled out of bed. Running down the hall she picked
her screaming daughter up from her crib and raced back
to her dying husband's bedside. On the way into the
room she reflexively turned the lights on, revealing
Mulder's bluish tint.

"Mulder?" she whispered, running over to the bedside.
Shaking, she started mouth to mouth. He started
breathing again, but she knew he wasn't going to make
it through the night. Placing Sam down beside him, she
started to sob when she heard Sam whisper, "Dada?"
softly, her little eyes full of tears. Somehow she knew
what was happening to her Daddy, and she understood
that there was nothing to be done. He looked over at
his daughter and smiled faintly. "Hi Sam," he managed.
"Daddy won't see you again for a while, but I promise
that I'll be watching you. On your first day of
preschool until you graduate with high honors, I'll
watch over you. When you..." He paused for air, then
continued. "When you get married, get pregnant, all
through your life I'll watch over you and your
children, guard you all from harm. And take care of
your mommy, okay Sam? Don't let anyone hurt your mommy,
because she's the best person alive, and you're so
lucky that she's your mom."

Tears flowed down Scully's face, her eyes brilliantly
green, as Samantha laid down on her fathers chest and
listened to his heartbeat. In minutes she was asleep.

Scully laid down next to Mulder, tears flowing with
complete abandon. "Mulder, please don't leave me
Mulder. Please, please hold on," she whispered,
choking. "I can't do this without you Mulder, I can't
take care of my baby if all I can think of is killing
myself."

He grabbed her hand with surprising strength, and his
eyes flashed briefly. "Dana Katherine Scully," he
wheezed, trying to breathe. "You are the most capable,
loving, wonderful person I have ever known in my entire
life, and I will die all over again if you stop now.
Listen to me," he said, wincing. "I love you. I love
you more than life itself. You are my life. And now I
can die with you by my side, to hold me and comfort me
while my mind slips away. I'll look in on you too,
where ever I go. I can't imagine not seeing you until
you join me in whatever lies beyond. That's why you
have to hold on," he wheezed. "Please, please hold on
for me Scully."

She nodded, mute. Finally she choked out, "Fox, I love
you."

And as Mulder's eyes closed for the final time, he
whispered, "I love you, I love you, I love you.." He
trailed off, and she could barely hear the last words.
"I love you, goodbye."

X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X

That's all folks! Please tell me what you think of the whole thing: I relaly need some meaty feedback.

[Jeff Miller]

2 things you write them too frigin long do it short and you can't make people read them Ive written aleast 5 stories they haven't picked up with anyone you just got to give it time

[PicardsTrueLove]

1) thanks for the tip: I have some other shorter ones. XF warrants loooooonger stories though. Plus, if I cahnged the margin size it would be shorter, but when you post on the internet ppl don't like to have to scroll sideways as well as up/down.

2) My latest fanfic is about a year and a half old. (eek!) You start getting desperate. Where are yours posted? I'd like to read them when I have the time.

[Seven of Nine]

Lollypop! Jeff, stories posted here are guarenteed to be read... by me!

I might not give feedback, but I read every word of every story! Takes ages!

So far, so good on this one... shame I'm not an X-files fan

[Voy_Girl]

Its a very well-written story... And I've read longer, so that doesn'tmatter to me

[Captian_Janeway]

Dear Fellow X-Phile!
I love your story! I love the X-Files! I love that STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got choked up quiet a few times............ But overall it was a fantastic story! I got this thing I wrote about the X-files (I hope you don't mind If I post it here...)

You know you watch to much X-Files when......

...you think 'Fox' is a normal name for a child.
...if you were dissappointed when your child was born without a tail.
....if you check your body daily for alien implant scars.
...if your convinced the Mulder's theries are true!
...if you called the FBI and asked to speak with the 'Paranormal Investigative task force.
...if your convinced the many FBI labs around the U.S. have been dis-credited because they have hard evidence that U.F.O.'s are here.
...if you've begged your parents to move to Vancouver (the place where the X-Files were filmed.)
...if you only talk to your friends in person because your convinced that Cancerman has been tapping your phone.
...if you know what the term 'X-Phile means'.
...if you ever wondered what the 'X' stands for.
...if you masking taped and 'X' on your window to see what would happen.
...if your convinced that you've been impregnated by Luke Skywalker.

That's all I got! Love the story!

{From the mind of a Die-Hard X-Phile!}

[PicardsTrueLove]

Oh that's great!!! It's so true! It's nice to meet another Trekkie/X-Phile. The two seem to work very well together . I'm starting to watch Voyager so when I've seen enough of it to be well-versed I'll let you know. The only way I can see it is by downloading it, b/c I don't have cable and I live in a valley in an energy efficient home (translation: we have a layer of tin under the siding of the house, which really screwes up the TV signal), so it could take a while, but I'm working on it! Glad to meet another X-Phile!

[Voy_Girl]

what does the 'X' mean?

[PicardsTrueLove]

Basically it stands for "unexplained," and the fact that the files have been "crossed off" by the Bureau. Also, "X" has always been symbolic of the unknown and the off-limits. That's what the show is about.