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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Tue Aug 20, 2002 8:24 am A J/C fanfiction- i haven't thought of the title yet |
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_________________________=/\=___________________________
Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, unfortunately they�re not mine
Summary: J/C�No plot yet�I�m just writing it as I go along
�Hang on� just a little more��
Captain Janeway couldn�t believe that she had agreed to this. The crew was having shore leave and Chakotay had somehow managed to get her to go rock climbing.
�A little exercise and fun won�t do you any harm.� Chakotay had said.
She shook her head. That depended on how he defined fun. This definitely used up a lot of energy, but it wasn�t exactly what she would call fun either.
Janeway turned around to voice her complaints when her eyes fell on Chakotay's safety rope, slowly unwinding itself before her eyes. His eyes were brimming with puzzlement at the look of complete horror on her face. His puzzlement slowly turned to disbelief and horror that matched hers as he started his long plummet down to the ground.
Janeway managed to grab on to his wrist. Pain tore through her arm, but she managed to hold on. She twisted her legs around her safety rope and gripped the rope tightly with the other hand to prevent herself from falling down as well.
�Use your other hand to grab my rope!� She yelled down at him. She could feel his hand slipping. Her arm had gone numb from the pain. Her arm couldn�t take it any longer. Against her will, her grip loosened and Chakotay�s hand slipped completely out of her hand.
�Chakotay! Nooo!�
__________________________=/\=__________________________
Last edited by -_-VoyagerFanatic-_- on Wed Aug 21, 2002 5:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Tue Aug 20, 2002 8:27 am |
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Chapter 2 coming soon.
Wad do you'll think abt it so far... my first fic...my 5th attempt at a fic anyway, any ideas on how i can improve it? i don't really like the suddenly part though...too abrupt
Last edited by -_-VoyagerFanatic-_- on Thu Aug 22, 2002 5:35 am; edited 1 time in total
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Thomas Pool Princess
Joined: 08 Jul 2001 Posts: 19730 Location: Manchester
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Tue Aug 20, 2002 10:43 am |
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It's pretty good plot and writing.....
Maybe instead of the rope suddenly snaps..... Janeway turns around to voice her complaints and her eyes fall on Chakotay's safety rope, slowly unwinding itself before her eyes. His eyes are brimming with puzzlement at the look of complete horror on her face.
Or something more on those lines.
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NIKKI13 Commodore
Joined: 04 Aug 2002 Posts: 1552 Location: if only i knew
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Tue Aug 20, 2002 3:14 pm |
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i agree suddenly just kinda hits you is the face
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Tue Aug 20, 2002 9:00 pm |
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chocho_11 wrote: | It's pretty good plot and writing.....
Maybe instead of the rope suddenly snaps..... Janeway turns around to voice her complaints and her eyes fall on Chakotay's safety rope, slowly unwinding itself before her eyes. His eyes are brimming with puzzlement at the look of complete horror on her face.
Or something more on those lines. |
Hey thanx...don't mind if i use your idea?
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Tue Aug 20, 2002 9:01 pm |
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NIKKI13 wrote: | i agree suddenly just kinda hits you is the face |
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Wed Aug 21, 2002 5:25 am |
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Chapter 2... coming right up
_____________________________________________________________
Chapter 2
�Chakotay to Captain Janeway.�
-Silence-
�Chakotay to Captain Janeway, please respond.�
-Silence-
Chakotay had been trying to contact her for the past 5 minutes. She was late for duty� again. This was the third time this week. It wasn�t like her.
�Tuvok, you have the bridge.� Chakotay got up and walked over to the turbo lift.
�Drag her out of bed if you have to commander,� Tom Paris turned around and grinned. One look at the glare that the commander shot at him made Tom regret saying that.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Chakotay pressed the door chime again. He was getting very worried.
�Computer, locate Captain Janeway.�
�Captain Janeway is in her quarters�
He tapped his override code into the panel next to the door. The first thing he saw was the captain tossing and turning on her sofa. He ran over to her side.
�Kathryn��
He shook her gently by her shoulders.
�Wake up Kathryn!�
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Captain Janeway stared down stunned for a moment before her academy training kicked in. She tapped her commbadge.
�Janeway to Voyager, transport commander Chakotay back immediately!�
-Silence-
Then she heard a soft but urgent voice calling her.
�Kathryn� Kathryn��
She woke up to see a blurry image Chakotay�s face filled with worry looking down at her.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I noe... i noe its lousy... again i call for any ideas to improve my story
Last edited by -_-VoyagerFanatic-_- on Mon Aug 26, 2002 9:21 am; edited 2 times in total
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Thomas Pool Princess
Joined: 08 Jul 2001 Posts: 19730 Location: Manchester
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Sat Aug 24, 2002 10:50 am |
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I don't know, I think that one was much better.
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Ziona Fleet Admiral
Joined: 22 Aug 2001 Posts: 12821 Location: Michigan... for now
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Sat Aug 24, 2002 11:03 am |
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That was... interesting. IN a good good way!
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]"...the truth is, I am scared to death just treading on your shadow..."
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Zebedee Commodore
Joined: 19 May 2002 Posts: 2467 Location: England
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Sat Aug 24, 2002 2:27 pm |
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Yeah it was different, I liked it.
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"La plus grande chose que vous apprendrez jamais est d'aimer et �tre a aim� dans le retour."
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Mon Aug 26, 2002 8:49 am |
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Thanx! i'm going to update the story soon, when i have time...got to do my homework now I'll be editing the 2nd chap too.
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Thomas Pool Princess
Joined: 08 Jul 2001 Posts: 19730 Location: Manchester
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Mon Aug 26, 2002 11:38 am |
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Can't wait, keep up the good work!
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Mon Aug 26, 2002 8:58 pm |
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Thank again, and oh yah...i've just edited the 2nd chap
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Tue Aug 27, 2002 8:56 am |
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Chapter 3
Note from me: well� this story has no plot, but basically its about getting our commander and captain together. =�
Kathryn pushed herself up to a sitting position. A single tear drop fell onto her pants. Only then did she realize that she had been crying.
Chakotay, seeing the tear stain on her pants, grabbed the tissue box on the table with one hand and used the other hand to gently put the captain�s feet onto the floor and sat down next to her.
She grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes
�Thanks� What time is it?�
�About 0730��
�0730! Why didn�t you say so!� The captain jumped up, grabbed her jacket, which was hanging on a chair, shrugged it on, snatched her commbadge up from her table, pinned it on and half jogged to the door.
She realized that Chakotay was still sitting on her couch. She turned around and saw him trying to control his laughter.
�Just what exactly do you find so amusing?�
�I was just trying to imagine you walking onto the bridge in that state.�
�Arrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh�
The captain raced into her sleeping area. She ran into her bathroom first to take a look at herself in the mirror. True enough, her hair looked worse than a klingon having a bad hair day, her face was tear stained, her pants were wrinkled, the only thing that didn�t look that bad, was her jacket.
----_______----_______----_______----_______----_______----_______
~*=/\=*~
From where he was sitting, Chakotay couldn�t see what the captain was doing, but he could hear her banging around, probably getting a fresh uniform to wear. Then he heard the swish of her toilet door opening then closing.
Three minutes later, the captain came out. She stood in front of Chakotay.
�Do I look presentable now?�
�Presentable enough.�
The captain grinned and headed for the door. She turned her head,
�Coming?�
Chakotay smiled back. He got and walked to the captain and offered her his arm. She accepted it and they made their way to the bridge.
~*=/\=*~
Last edited by -_-VoyagerFanatic-_- on Wed Aug 28, 2002 8:26 am; edited 1 time in total
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Thomas Pool Princess
Joined: 08 Jul 2001 Posts: 19730 Location: Manchester
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Tue Aug 27, 2002 11:25 am |
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I like that.
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 7:13 am |
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really? thanks!
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Lxe keep dreaming
Joined: 11 Aug 2002 Posts: 3622 Location: stv
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 7:54 am |
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REALLY GOOD STORY.
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 8:25 am |
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thanx...any ideas on hw i can improve it...and i've just edited the 3rd chap
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Thomas Pool Princess
Joined: 08 Jul 2001 Posts: 19730 Location: Manchester
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 10:09 am |
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Yes..... only post a new part when the post before it was on a blue background so the new chapter won't be.... it's too hard to read!
The story's very good, can't wait for more!
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ElisaAzure Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Joined: 10 Mar 2002 Posts: 97 Location: Brighton UK
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 1:12 pm |
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I loved your fic! It's coming alopng quite nicly I thought. It's deffinatly better then my first fic!
I can't wait to read more, keep up the good work!
Elisa
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"...the purveyors of spam are like the Borg on Star Trek - they continually adapt to your shields."
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 9:00 pm |
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ElisaAzure wrote: | I loved your fic! It's coming alopng quite nicly I thought. It's deffinatly better then my first fic!
I can't wait to read more, keep up the good work!
Elisa |
yers is better...anyway thanx
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Kathryn_Janeway_Jr Commodore
Joined: 24 Apr 2002 Posts: 2129 Location: Philippines
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Fri Aug 30, 2002 3:20 am |
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hey kid, its beautiful!!! i love it!!! was this the one you were working on, the one you sent me the email with???
i must say kid you are a good writer and your plot is good, it is something new i must say... keep up the good work...
so where's the rest??
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http://www.startrekvoyager.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=314424#314424
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Fri Aug 30, 2002 7:45 am |
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kaye7_of_9fan wrote: | hey kid, its beautiful!!! i love it!!! was this the one you were working on, the one you sent me the email with???
i must say kid you are a good writer and your plot is good, it is something new i must say... keep up the good work...
so where's the rest?? |
thanx kaye... nope, this isn't the one... that's another fic ... or at least part of a fic... i think my 4th attempt... anyway, the 4th chap will be coming out soon... i hope... i've got exams coming up, got to study...
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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Strobe Senior Cadet
Joined: 22 Aug 2002 Posts: 27 Location: Republic of Ireland
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Fri Aug 30, 2002 1:16 pm yAHZOO |
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Yah I love the cliffhanger ripoff in chapter 1.
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Wow. You know I haven't registered on a message board in ages and haven't prepared a witty, elaborate, and well thought-out signature. Sorry.
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-_-VoyagerFanatic-_- Rear Admiral
Joined: 20 Jun 2002 Posts: 4126
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Fri Aug 30, 2002 8:12 pm |
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thanx
-------signature-------
[First Time back online in 3 years]
For i dipped into the future
Far as the human eye could see
Saw the vision of the world
And all wonder that would be
-Alfred Lord Tennyson [Quote on Voyager's dedication plaque]
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