Bob's Fort - Hangout and Arcade Club

[Voyager`]

u hero has returned with jokes



"Star Trek Lost Episodes"

<Picard> "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at
finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to
access their command pathways?"

<Geordi>"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching
through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."

<Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.>

<Riker looks puzzled.> "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"

<Data turns to answer.> "Allow me to explain. We will send this
program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command
pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming
system resources at an unstoppable rate."

<Picard> "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter
their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

<Data> "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a
new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources
increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able
to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability
will be taken over and none will be available for their normal
operational functions."

<Picard> "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable
geometric shape' idea."

. . . . 15 Minutes Later . . . .

<Data> "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the
command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all
resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the
expected 'upgrade'."

<Geordi> "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and
CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an
'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."

<Picard> "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their
is something we have missed."

<Data> "Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the
'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the
plan by not sending in their registration cards.

<Riker> "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin
emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."

<Geordi, excited> "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity
has suddenly dropped to 0% !"

<Picard> "Data, what does your scanners show?"

<Data> "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module
named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."

<Picard> "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce
their functionality."

. . . . Two Hours Pass . . . .

<Riker> "Geordi whats the status on the Borg?"

<Geordi> "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they
successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space
monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something
called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.

<Picard> "How much time will that buy us ?"

<Data> "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an
interest time span of 6 more hours."

<Geordi> "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

<Picard> "Identify."

<Data> "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft'
logo"

<Over the speakers> "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT
FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED
SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY
TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS"

<Data> "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and
released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."

<Picard> "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"

<Riker> "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward
the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the
tortures of deep space ?!"

<Data> "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look
closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something
recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases,
and wearing Armani suits"

<Riker and Picard together horrified> "Lawyers !!"

<Geordi> "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent
hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

<Data> "True, but appearently some must have survived."

<Riker> "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with
all types of papers."

<Data> "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it
often proves fatal."

<Riker> "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"

<Picard> "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even
the Borg deserve that."




this is wierd


...on Staaaaaaaar Trek: The Next Generation....

Data becomes a hacker...

Riker: Data, you've got two minutes to break into the Borg mainframe!!

Data: Acknowledged, Captain.

big-e# telnet
telnet> open borg.big.cube.mil
Trying 301.143.45.45 ...
Conected to borg422.big.cube.mil.
Escape character is '^]'.

BorgOS UNIX (borg422.big.cube.mil)

login: root
Password:
login incorrect
login: root
Password:
login incorrect
login: locutus
Password:
Last login: Jun 25 2367 02:45:50 on console
BorgOS Release 2.1.1 (BORG422) #422: Dec 12 09:07:30 GMT 2365
Message of the day:
Usenet is irrelevant.
BIFF is futile.

You have mail.
borg422% sleep &
[1] 1489
borg422% ...Broadcast message at 19:02:34 from [email protected]:
System shutdown in three minutes...
borg422%
borg422% logout
Connection closed by foreign host.
big-e#

....Next week, on an all-new episode of Staaaaaar Trek: The Next Generation!


Robert W. Spiker, UVa Dept. of Astronomy
+------------------------+ It is truly written that a man has five
| [email protected] | times as many fingers as ears, but only
| rws3n@virginia (BITNET)| twice as many ears as noses.
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to [email protected]
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.

Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have
time to hand-correct everybody's postings?


From murdoch!uvaarpa!haven!aplcen!uakari.primate.wisc.edu!sdd.hp.com!decwrl!looking!funny-request Mon Oct 8 12:35:51 EDT 1990
Article 2061 of rec.humor.funny:
Path: murdoch!uvaarpa!haven!aplcen!uakari.primate.wisc.edu!sdd.hp.com!decwrl!looking!funny-request
>From: [email protected] (Daniel Elvis Weber)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Cpt. Picard & The Borg (Finale?)
Keywords: topical, usenet, smirk, original
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: 8 Oct 90 07:20:10 GMT
Lines: 148
Approved: [email protected]

I mailed my friend Brandon Lovestead a copy of the story written by
[email protected] about "Captain Picard Encounters the Borg"
(a parody in which the Borg are related to USENET). He decided that he
could not wait for the season premier nor the completion of the story by
the author, so he wrote his own ending to the story. I thought it
was amusing, and figured that since there has been no posted conclusion,
you might consider this ending.

For Brandon Lovestead,
Daniel Weber

---------------------------------------------------------------------/////

RIKER: We have no choice now. Data retrieve that old file on recursion
Jordi wrote when he was pissed off at our sysop.

DATA: At once. What does that file do?

RIKER: I'll tell you when it happens.

WORF: Borg initiating talk...shall we establish connection?

RIKER: Yeah, why not.... but use _all_lowercase_, Lieutenant!

Lt.Yar: That should confuse them even further!

DATA: I have retrieved that file, Commander, it has a README document
with it, and a warning...

Shall I read it?

RIKER: No! The Borg might be monitoring our session. Put the file up on
the Captain's chair terminal...all lower case.

JORDI: I am reading some strange memory errors, Commander! They seem to
be i/o problems primarily. I think the Borg are trying to remote
login to our computer.

RIKER: Good! They're doing what I want them to! Worf, send a uuencoded
message over the talk connection, and rot13 it.

WORF: But Commander, uuencode over talk? What should I send them?

RIKER: Send them anything big...send them all the man pages for System V.

WORF: Yessir.

DATA: What do you intend to do with that recursion file, Commander?

RIKER: I am going to amend it, then offer it on a golden platter to them.

RIKER BEGINS TO REPROGRAM THE FILE

DATA: Ah. A trojan horse. A deception. A program designed to...

RIKER: Yes, Data!

JORDI: Commander, they have almost established a remote login...they have
almost guessed the password...Data's favorite complex number!

RIKER: There, finished. Data, transfer my file to the main computer's bin
directory, and change the name to "SystemShutdown".

DATA [click-beep] Done, sir.

JORDI: They did it, sir, the Borg are now searching the root. They are ftp-
ing some files. Hey, what's SystemShutdown? There's no such...

RIKER: Jordi, remember when you wrote that program to get back at Lieutenant
Foster?

JORDI: You mean the one that spawns shells recursively?

RIKER: That's the one. I just sent it to the Borg...

WORF: Commander, the Borg are demanding better documentation....wait...
I am reading a surge in power in their main computer.

Lt.YAR: Confirmed sir. It is progressing at an almost geometric rate.
They are swapping out pages like crazy....

DATA: At this rate, they should be unable to process anything beyond the
highest level of interrupt...

RIKER: Exactly...only a reset!

WORF: Commander, it appears they...it can't be...they've dumped their entire
core, but it can't find a place in memory.....system shutdown
has occurred! They are defenseless!

RIKER: Yes! Little did they know it was _their_ system shutdown that I
label the file for! We should have the Captain back anytime.

POOF! PICARD APPEARS ON THE BRIDGE

PICARD: What happened Number one?

RIKER: You were captured by the Borg, and brainwashed, sir.

PICARD: Indeed. Why am I here, though?

RIKER: We allowed them to ftp a recursive shell-spawning program into their
computers. Once they had to dump their core, it was just a matter
of time before you had to be swapped out back to the Enterprise.

PICARD: But, Commander, did it ever occur to you that I could've been swapped
elsewhere, say, to tapedrive?

RIKER: Yes, but I was willing to take the risk, sir.

PICARD: Willing to...

WORF: Captain the Borg are requesting talk...

PICARD: Acknowledge, Lieutenant.

WORF: Should I continue in uuencode and rot13?

PICARD: What the hell...?

RIKER: Discontinue that, Mr.Worf, resume normal ascii.

WORF: Aye, sir.


PICARD: This is Captain Picard. We have disabled your computers entirely,
how are you communicating?

BORG: WE ARE USINH^HG A HAZELTINW^HE 1500. THIS IS FUTILE! WE WILL LEAVE.
BUT WE WILL REFURN!

RIKER: "Refurn," sir?

PICARD: I don't know, Number One, perhaps they will come back as plants.
Maybe corn, or perhaps....kernels...

Mr.Crusher, take us out of here, warp 5.


THE END...?



>"Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript.
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
>> >attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have
>> >you been able to access their command pathways?"
>> >
>> ><Geordi>"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching
>> >through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing
>> >technology."
>> >
>> ><Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer
>> >screen.>
>> >
>> ><Riker looks puzzled.> "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"
>> >
>> ><Data turns to answer.> "Allow me to explain. We will send this
>> >program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg
>> >command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will
>> >begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."
>> >
>> ><Picard> "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they
>> >alter their processing systems to increase their storage
>> >capacity?"
>> >
>> ><Data> "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it
>> >creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use
>> >of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The
>> >Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of
>> >their processing ability will be taken over and none will be
>> >available for their normal operational functions."
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Excellent work. This is even better than that
>> >'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."
>> >
>> >.. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
>> >
>> ><Data> "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows'
>> >in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85%
>> >of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation
>> >of the expected 'upgrade'."
>> >
>> ><Geordi> "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg
>> >storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no
>> >indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if
>> >there is something we have missed."
>> >
>> ><Data> "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the
>> >'upgrade'. Apparently, the Borg have circumvented that part of
>> >the plan by not sending in there registration cards.
>> >
>> ><Riker> "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to
>> >begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."
>> >
>> ><Geordi, excited> "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU
>> >capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Data, what do your scanners show?"
>> >
>> ><Data> "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows'
>> >module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can
>> >reduce their functionality."
>> >
>> >.. . . Two Hours Pass . . .
>> >
>> ><Riker> "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?"
>> >
>> ><Geordi> "As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
>> >compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time
>> >they successfully increase resources I have set up, our closest
>> >deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules
>> >from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
>> >
>> ><Picard> "How much time will that buy us ?"
>> >
>> ><Data> "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an
>> >interest time span of 6 more hours."
>> >
>> ><Geordi> "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Identify."
>> >
>> ><Data> "It appears to have markings very similar to the
>> >'Microsoft' logo"
>> >
>> ><Over the speakers> "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE
>> >MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF
>> >UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND
>> >WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS"
>> >
>> ><Data> "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and
>> >released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"
>> >
>> ><Riker> "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight
>> >toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they
>> >survive the tortures of deep space ?!"
>> >
>> ><Data> "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will
>> >look closer, I believe you will see that they are carrying
>> >something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin
>> >leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits"
>> >
>> ><Riker and Picard together horrified> "Lawyers !!"
>> >
>> ><Geordi> "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and
>> >sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
>> >
>> ><Data> "True, but apparently some must have survived."
>> >
>> ><Riker> "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it
>> >with all types of papers."
>> >
>> ><Data> "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red
>> >tape'. I understand that it often proves fatal."
>> >
>> ><Riker> "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"
>> >
>> ><Picard> "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not
>> >even the Borg deserve that!"
>> >


datas cat poem??
: Captain, Captain, the Star Trek group's backed up into the Letterman
: group. I dunno what to do!

: Scotty


Spock: Captain, it seems that our recent jump to emergency warp
drive has caused a small rift in the fabric of space.
We have spilled, not only into another time and another
television show, but also into another discussion group!
Fascinating... (Eyebrow cocked)

Kirk: Mr. Sulu, what is our heading?

Sulu: (Glazed Look) Oh No!!! We're Gonna Get Sued!!!!

Kirk: Sulu, I asked you a question... Man your post mister!

Sulu: Here sir, here is a canned ham... (gives Kirk ham)

Kirk: (On intercom) Dr. McCoy to the bridge... (To Spock)
Find out where the hell we are.

Spock: Yes, sir. (Spock attempts to use Sulu's console, but
Sulu attempts to fling 5 X 7 cards at him. Spock
gives Sulu the Vulcan neck pinch).

(McCoy enters)

McCoy: Yes, Jim?

Kirk: Sulu is acting strangely, what do you think?

(McCoy checks Sulu with instruments)

Kirk: What is it?

McCoy: I don't know, I think it has something to do with Mujiber.

Kirk: Bones, what the hell are you talking about? I need answers!!!

McCoy: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a network programming director!!!

Kirk: Bones, I need a reason for Sulu's behavior!!

McCoy: You need a reason? (Heavy Southern Accent) Well Jimmie boy, I'll
give you ten. From the home office on Ceti Alpha 6, here is
tonight's top ten list.... The question, Why Is All This
Wierdness Happening On The Enterprise?

#10: Shatner figured his girdle had one more film left in it.

#9: Lt. Uhura got shot down for that Ultra-Slimfast Commercial

#8: Rotating Pies!!!
(Shot to a rotating pie cabinet in space. A Klingon
vessel fires photon torpedoes and annihilates it).

#7: Dave's Mom thinks Scotty can re-align her matter/anti-
matter stabelizers any day.

#6: Since Star Trek IV, Chekov has been achin' to say
"Noocleear Wesllls".

#5: Two words: Tribble Mania!!

#4: After trying to drink him under the table, Paul
challenges Scotty to a rousing round of "Duelin' Bagpipes"

(Cut to a shot of Paul and Scotty wailing on the bagpipes)

#3: Unbeknownst to him, Sulu has been walking around the
Enterprise all day with his hailing frequency open.

#2: We thought it would be fun to switch the tractor beam
on Bud Melman's shorts.

#1: It could have been worse:
It could have been rec.arts.marching.drumcorps!!!!


Kirk: Computer... engage self-destruct sequence Alpha, Alpha,
Niner, Two, Seven, Beta.

Computer: Working... Computer Self-destruct sequence Alpha, Alpha,
Niner, Two, Seven, Beta: Hostile Invasion of Enterprise
By Late Night Talk Show Premise. Destruct Sequence
engaged in 10...9...8...7...6...

Spock: (To Kirk) The needs of the many, outweigh the needs
of the few...

Kirk: Or the Mujiber.

5...4...3...

Spock: (To Kirk) I never liked you...

2...

Kirk: (To Spock) I've always loved you...

1...

A holographic image of Jay Leno appears, his face contorted in
maniacal laughter. He is carrying a bag of Doritos.....
"Don't worry about Star Trek Jimmy boy, we'll make more!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(He is joined by Conan O'brian, and Patrick Stewart)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

** A blinding white light appears. It is Qvid Letterman, god **
** of the network universe. With a brush of his hands he **
** evaporates Leno and Stewart. The computer aborts the **
** countdown. **

Dave: Hey Jimmy, know why I keep space so cold?

Kirk: (Stunned, shakes his head)

Dave: So the jokes don't spoil. Au revoir, mon capitan!!
(Disappears in a flash of light)

Kirk: (To Sulu, who is now recovered) Mr. Sulu, lay in a course
for Starbase 14.

Sulu: Aye, sir!





Typical Voyager episode

For those who don't have time to watch "Voyager" here is a typical
episode which sums up everything you need to know about the series:

Opening scene: the bridge. Janeways sitting in chair.

Paris: Captain, there's a huge anomaly 200,00 kilometers off our port bow!

Tuvok: Sensors indicate a temporal anomaly, Captain.

Chakotay: Maybe we should back off.

Janeway: No. We are Starfleet. Our mission is to explore. Set it a course
towards the anomaly.

Neelix: N--n--n--o...w--w--w--ait just a darned minute there...

Everybody ignores Neelix.

Paris: Course laid in, captain.

Janeway: Engage manouvering thrusters.

Tuvok: Captain, an object is emerging!

A mysterious glowing cloud on the screen. The cloud parts and the
Energizer Bunny (TM) emerges.

Janeway: My God! It just leeps on going and going and going...

Tuvok: You recognize this object. captain?

Janeway: Of course. It is an essential part of Earth cultural history. It
symbolizes the indomitable will of the human race to prevail.

Chakotay: My people have similar spiritual symbols, but better.

Tuvok: Captain, we are being hailed.

Janeway: By the bunny?

Tuvok [ with distaste ]: By the...bunny, yes.

Janeway: Open a channel.

A muffled "boom...boom...boom" is heard.

Janeway: Yes...yes... that's precisely the sound...

Chakotay: Wait a minute captain. Don't you notice something wrong...

Everybody notices that the drumming has an irregular beat.

Janeway: Look! He's missing one of his front paws. We have to help!

Tuvok: Captain, the Prime Directive...

Janeway interrupts: Forget the Prime Directive. One bunny to beam
directly to sickbay. Energize!

Paris: Transport complete.

Cut to sickbay. Bunny materializes on a diagnostic couch. Kes looks up in
surprise, then activates the Doctor.

Doctor: State the nature of the medical emergency!

Kes: I don't know, this...thing just appeared.

Doctor: Ah. It appears to be a mechanical rabbit.

Janeway [ over intercom ]: Doctor, do you have your patient?

Doctor: Possibly. Are you referring to this mechanical rodent?

Janeway: Yes. You have to help.

Doctor: I shall do my best.

Doctor scans bunny with tricorder. Suddenly bunny's eyes glow bright red.
A booming voice emanates from it.

Bunny: NO! YOU ARE NOT READY!

Doctor: Ready for what?

Bunny: FOR ANYTHING!

Doctor: Possibly.

BUNNY: I AM THE LAST REPRESENTATIVE OF A 10,000,000,000 YEAR OLD
CIVILIZATION THAT ONCE RULED THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. I CREATED YOUR RACE AND
ALL OTHER SENTIENT CREATURES. BUT YOU ARE NOT READY FOR ME.

Doctor: I see. But you have a wounded paw.

Bunny looks at paw.

Bunny: OH SO I DO. WELL THAT WAS JUST A PLOT DEVICE TO GIVE THE CAPTAIN
AN EXCUSE TO BEAM ME ONTO THE SHIP. FORGET IT.

Doctor: I see.

Kes: What do you want us to do, you cute little thing?

Bunny: THIS WOMAN'S KIND WORDS HONOUR ME. I GRANT YOU THREE WISHES.

Kes: OK, my first wish is that Neelix had better hair.

Bunny: GRANTED.

Suddenly Neelix rushes in. He now has normal hair instead of the mop that
usually clings to his head.

Neelix: Doctor, help me! I've just had this horrible transformation. I
was in the middle of cooking some Xzsadgfghsalxian tomato soup when my
hair changed to this horrible mess.

Kes: It was me, Neelix. I asked the Bunny to give you normal hair.

Neelix: But you don't understand. Every species is different. It's our
differences that make us unique. They are something to be cherished not
rejected. Without my hair, I'm not ME anybore...sob...Why I'm so pissed
off I wish you had a foot long nose.

Bunny: GRANTED!

Kes has a foot long nose.

Kes: How could you do that. I love you Neelix but sometimes your such a
childish man.

Neelix: Forgive me, Kes. Love is like that sometimes. Relationships are
so difficult. Thats why we have television, to explain it all to us. Now
I wish we were both back to normal.

Bunny: GRANTED.

Kes and Neelix both go back to normal.

Doctor: What a shame you didn't think of using one of those wishes to get
us home.

Kes and Neelix totally ignore him as they embrace to make up for their
quarrel.

Bunny: THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO RETURN!

Doctor: Return where?

Bunny: WHERE I CAME FROM!

Bunny dematerializes in a weird cloud of green gas, which slowly dissapates.

Janeway and Chakotay rush in just as the last of the gas disappears.

Janeway: What happened? Report!

Doctor: The patient has departed.

Janeway: My God, you mean he died?

Doctor: Not exactly...

Chakotay interrupts: Don't try to explain, Doctor. Death is a great
mystery. Among my people it is to be contemplated, not discussed. This is
a solemn moment. We must honor the cosmic bunny.

Doctor looks as if he's about to speak, then thinks better of it.

Janeway: Life is such a wonderful mystery isn't it? I never thought I'd
get to meet the Energizer Bunny and then when I finally met him, he
died... I feel a much richer person for the experience.

Chakotay: We all are, captain.

THE END


thats all for now

[OmnipotentMoonBabe]

*O*M*G that was hilarious...I loved the voyager one. As sad as it is to say this that pretty much how the episodes are! lol. those are funnnnnnnnnnnnny!

[Voyager`]

thanks i cant belive i found them they were on like the 378 page on yahoo

[OmnipotentMoonBabe]

I have a funny one but it's kind of bad...remind me to put it on the next time you see me. I tend to be absent minded at times...

[Voyager`]

ok

[Defiant]

Not bad...

_________________
To the best crew any captain ever had, no matter what the future holds, a part of us will always remain here, on DS9...

[ This Message was edited by: Defiant on 2002-04-04 15:20 ]

[Voyager`]

why thankyou now its ur turn

[Defiant]

Ive been trying, but I cant seem to find any jokes...Oh yeah, I thought of one myself...

Here's a joke...Curt!

[Voyager`]

lol thats funny we i shall continue looking to anyone and everyone is welcome to post some here

[Defiant]

I've got one...I'll post it later today when I get on again...It's a picture...

[Voyager`]

OK i cant wait *sits down and starts to sing*

[Defiant]

OK...Here we go...Oh hold on, I have to find it again...Keep singing!

[Voyager`]

*conts to sing*

[Voyager`]

*conts to sing*

[Defiant]

Dammit...I lost the pic...Ill find something else...

[Voyager`]

ok *i cont to sing*

[First Officer-Commander C]

Enters.

"Hello all. I am First Officer-Commander Chakotay. I am also a Helmsman for this ship. How are all of you?"

[OmnipotentMoonBabe]

Hello. I'm fine. Although I have to say that I'm the first officer...

[OmnipotentMoonBabe]

Bob, you have such a lovely voice. lol. *clears throat*

[First Officer-Commander C]

Right, Second Officer, keep forgetitng that. lol.

[First Officer-Commander C]

"Well, I have to go talk to Admiral Moss about something. Catch ya later."

Chakotay leaves.

[Voyager`]

someone new in my fort cool

*i still cont to sing but am starting to lose my voice

[OmnipotentMoonBabe]

*snaps fingers and a drink appears in her hand*
Here take a swig a' this. It tastes like crap but it works pretty well.

[OmnipotentMoonBabe]

[Voyager`]

*gag* man that taste horibble hey my voice is better now thanks but i am feeling a liitle