Bob's Fort - Hangout and Arcade Club

[Transwarp13]

welcome all, have a soda, talk and play some games!

[Voyager`]

looks like my secret fort isn't very secret anymore.lol
comeone in everyone and have a good time

[Transwarp13]

yah, not very secret, but the placew looks good!

[Voyager`]

why tanks alot i did the best i could
*starts playing the arcade games*

[Transwarp13]

*plays games*

[Voyager`]

and dont forget the jukebox it has all kind if startrek songs on it
*starts playin songs*

DO THE PICARD

Picard: "Come!"
Data: "Watson, we are about to have guests."

There's a party in the Holodeck
Everyone in Star Trek
Picard, Crusher, Data, Riker, Geordi, Worf, Troi
(I LIKE HER!)
Troi is the Betazoid
Dancin' with the android
Somethin's wrong with Worf's head
Aliens in Riker's bed

Picard has thrown this big surprise
On The Starship Enterprise
Everybody now engage
Yeah you know it's all the rage
Take your head and shave it neat
Be a captain of Starfleet
Some like Kirk
Picard is wiser
Geordi's jammin' with his visor

(Chorus)
Do The Picard
(Picard, Picard yeah yeah)
Do The Picard
(Picard, Picard yeah yeah)
Come on baby do it
It ain't real hard
Everybody's doin' it, the
Jean-Luc Picard yeah

Troi's now on the main bridge
Showin' off her cleavage
Checkin' out the Captain's Log
Worf is chowin' down on grog
Data's fully functional
Wesley's very punctual
Tasha's layin' in the morgue
Somebody invite The Borg

So baby don't merengue
Go grab a Ferengi
The Borg are hoggin' all the chips
Crusher's shakin' up her hips
Howdy Mr. Romulan
How do you do?
Here's my good buddy
They call him Q

Do The Picard
(Picard, Picard yeah yeah)
Do The Picard
(Picard, Picard yeah yeah)
Baby you can do it
It ain't real hard
Everybody's doin' it, the
Jean-Luc Picard

Riker: "Riker to Picard, we're ready to beam over, sir."
Picard: "Everything about this seems wrong."
Troi: "Satisfaction. Enormous satisfaction."
Data: "How easily humans do that."
Locutus (Picard): "A futile maneuver."
Data: "Most interesting, sir."
Picard: "Engage. Engage. En-En-En-gage."

Do The Picard
(Picard, Picard Yeah yeah)
Do The Picard
(Picard, Picard yeah yeah)
Come on baby do it
It ain't real hard
Everybody's doin' it, the
Jean-Luc Picard yeah

Picard: "Shut off that noise!"

[Voyager`]

*another song*

STAR TREKKIN

Chorus:
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report!

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock!

Spock:
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.

Chorus:
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.

Medical update, Doctor McCoy

McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Spock:
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk

Kirk:
Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, ma'am

McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Spock:
Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
scrape them off, Jim!

Chorus:
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engine Room, Mister Scott

Scotty:
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics,
laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, Jim.

Kirk:
Ah, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill!
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
Scotty, beam me up!

McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim, Dead!

Spock:
Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!

Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim! Up ta you, Jimmy!

McCoy: It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!

Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!

Scotty: Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow, Captain!

<<boom>>

Chorus:
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!

Star Trekkin', across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekkin', across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse!

[Voyager`]

so how you like the songs i can play more if you want

[Transwarp13]

lol, omg, those were awsome! lol, more more!!!!

[Voyager`]

ok i will play more tonight maybe

[Voyager`]

plays the jukebox

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
The tale of a fateful trip,
That started out from DS9,
Aboard this tiny ship.


The ship was an Intrepid Class,
The latest new edition,
So Starfleet sent the crew upon,
A retrieval mission.
A retrieval mission.


But then space started getting rough,
They got transported too,
And when they sacrificed the other ship,
The Maquis joined the crew.
The Maquis joined the crew.


Now the ship's adrift in the heart of this,
Uncharted space quadrant,
With Jane-a-way,
Chakotay too,
The Talaxian,
And the Borg,
The hologram,
And the rest,
Here in Del-ta Quad-rant.



New Closing Theme:
Now this is the tale of our voyagers,
They're here in a far, far, place,
It's seventy years until they see,
Federation space.


Neelix as morale officer,
Will brighten up the ship,
And make the others comfortable,
On this long-extended trip.


No coffee--starbases--dilithium,
Not a single luxury,
Like Original Series special effects,
It's primitive as can be.


So join us here each week my friend,
You'll smile, that's for sure,
At all your favorite characters,
Aboard the Voy-a-ger!

[Transwarp13]

lol, i love those!!!!

[Voyager`]

i will try to put some on every now and then

[Transwarp13]

good, i love them!lol.

[Voyager`]

yeah i post them as i find them spread the word star trek songs in bobs fort

[Voyager`]

time for some jammen

livin in the borg

There's something wrong in the universe today.

We know what it is.

"The Starship Enterprise"

We have seen them once or twice,

We know they're not yet ours.

We're what they would call "surprised"



Living in the Borg.

Living in the Borg.

Living in the Borg.

Living in the Borg.



There's something wrong in the universe today.

It's ugly, and has too much hair.

and it calls itself "Me"

If you can name the species,

by the colors of their skin,

then 2 of 6, you're a better Borg than We



Living in the Borg.

We will stop their futile stalling.

Living in the Borg.

We will stop them real soon.

Living in the Borg.

We will stop their futile stalling.

Living in the Borg.



Tell us, do you think they should be assimilated,

aggrivated then frustrated

They're getting to us.

If the Federation says the Borg are coming,

Even if they weren't, wouldn't they come crawlin'

back again?

I bet they would

("our friends")

again and again and again and again.



There's something wrong in the universe today.

And the Borg knows it's wrong.

But we can't do anything about it.

But we know they're just hanging on.



(clock ticks)

(Phaser fire)

(explosion)



Living in the Borg.

Living in the Borg.

Living in the Borg.

Living in the Borg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah



Living in the Borg.

We will stop their futile stalling.

We will stop them real soon.

Living in the Borg.

We will stop their futile stalling.

Living in the Borg.

They will be one of us.

They will be one of us.

Living with the Borg.

We will stop their futile stalling.

We will stop them real soon.

Living in the Borg.

We will stop their futile stalling.

Living in the Borg.

[Voyager`]

2 borg ships

One, Two, Borg ships lay before you.

(That's what we said, now)

Borg ships, Borg ships who deplore you.

(That's just too bad, now)

This one will assimilate your brain.

(You've got no chance, now)

This one will do just the same.

(We'll be enhanced, now)



That one, will make you dissolve.

(That's what we said now)

There's no problem that we can't solve.

(It's in our heads, now)

Get killed by them, no more stupid chatter.

(You're life's worth cents now)

Get killed by us, it doesn't really matter.

(There's no difference, now)



"Awwww, assimilate him then assimilate me.

Resistance is Futile, I now can see.

Ain't got no more future, no family-tree

But I know how a really bad Borg ought to be,

I know how a really bad Borg ought to be...

Auughhhh!!!"



Said if you want to make them one of us

(Just go ahead, now0

And if you want to fight and fuss

(Don't even try, now)

If you want to get the Enterprise

(Just go ahead now)

And if you want to see our demise.

(Don't even try,now)

[Voyager`]

Always look on the Borg side of life



Most things in life are bad

They can really make you mad.

Other things just make you swear and cuss.

When you're chewing on Life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle,

and just be glad you're not yet one of us...

And...



...always look on the Borg side of Life...

(whistle)



Always look on the Borg side of Life...

(whistle)



If life seems jolly rotten,

There's something you've forgotten.

and that's to pray that we're not coming yet

If you think that you'll be saved.

The road to freedom is now paved.

All we say is "wanna make a bet"



And...always look on the Borg side of Life

(whistle)



Come On.



Always look on the Borg side of Life.

(whistle)



For life is quite absurd,

"Assimilation"'s the final word.

If we must, we'll go that extra mile...

Forget about the fight.

'cause the Borg are always right.

And We're sure you'll know resistance is futile.



So...Always look on the Borg side of death.

(whistle)

Just before you draw your terminal breath

(whistle)



Life's a piece of *beep*

when you look at it.

That's why we do what we do.

Just remeber that we're here.

We're not going anywhere,

and soon we'll be coming after you.



And...always look on the Borg side of life.



Always look on the Borg side of Life.

(whistle)



Cheering up is irrelevent



Always look on the Borg side of Life.

(whistle)



Always look on the Borg side of Life.

(whistle)



Worst things happen in space, you know.



Always look on the Borg side of Life.

(whistle)



We mean - what have you got to lose?

You came from nothing?

You're going back to nothing.

What have you lost? Nothing.



Always look on the Borg side of Life.

(whistle)

(fade)

.

[Transwarp13]

lol, i love those!!!!

[Voyager`]

well well well no one but us two i think i am gonna have a talk with the rest of the crew and make em come here

[Transwarp13]

lol, ok!

[Voyager`]

ummm speaking of the rest of the crew where are they????

[Voyager`]

more music????


Star Trek Christmas Carols




Let It Snow (sung by: Jean Luc Picard)

Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
Unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
But still we must boldly go--
Make it so, make it so, make it so!



Winter Wonderland (sung by: Jean Luc Picard)

We've just passed, Starfleet inspection
Just plot a course --- any direction
We're gonna explore, where none have before,
Cruising in the starship Enterprise

On my starship, I can run a program
And pretend that I am Dixon Hill
Walk into my office and then --- oh man!!
My secretary 's making out with Wil...

I need a break, from Wesley's whinin'
I'll have some tea --- then talk to Guinan
A nice quiet chat, about her new hat,
Cruising in the starship Enterprise



Deck The Halls (sung by: William Riker)

Here's a vexing Christmas riddle:
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Why must I play second fiddle?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
How can I impress Deanna
(Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
When I'm number two banana?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)

Girls find him so cute and cuddly
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
(He) thinks his beard makes him so studly
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Sleeps around, does what he pleases...
(Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
Spreading outer-space diseases
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)



God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (sung by: Wesley Crusher)

I'm at Starfleet Academy,
And I'd just like to say
I miss the opportunity
To weekly save the day--
To make things worse, I have to be
In some dumb Christmas play!
Yes, I'm bright, though I'm just a teenaged boy,
Only a boy,
And the Enterprise was my most favorite toy!

I study hard, I do my best
I really try and try ---
(But) Sternbach and Okuda
Are finding ways for me to die
I'm such a charming little tyke
It's such a vicious ploy
"Maim that child" was just overheard from Troi,
Counselor Troi (!)
I guess starships might not be the place for boys



Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas (by: Deanna Troi)

I get no surprises out of Christmas--
Presents leave me blue--
I know what they're giving me
Before they do.

Who wants to be Betazoid at Christmas?
I read Jean-Luc's mind:
"What's the cheapest gift for Troi that I can find?"

Geordi thinks I'm a "Beta-bore"--
Worf likes Data more--by far.
Wes to Mom takes his whinin', or,
Sobs to Guinan o'er the bar.

In Will's dreams I'm in a reindeer costume
Bare at breasts and thighs--
He as Santa merrily
His whips applies.

Oh, Christmas is no fun aboards the Enterprise.



Jingle Bells (sung by: Data)

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh--

or so I am reliably informed; lacking a subjective and intuitively perceived referent for the term "fun," I am able only to report the phenomenon as experienced by others, whose individual perceptions somewhat color the ---

yes, sir.



White Christmas (sung by: Worf)

I'm dreaming of a dead Pakled,
Just like the one in Rec Deck Eight.
They all think they've hidden,
But this one didn't,
And I'm using him as bait.

I'm dreaming of a dead Pakled--
Their mental skills are rather lame.
May your foes die sonless, in shame--
And I hope you're wishing me the same!



Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire (sung by: Worf)

Phasers flashing in the depths of space,
Ripping up an airtight hull;
Signs of fear on your enemy's face,
And life-support signs reading null!

Ev'rybody knows a Romulan's a spineless foe
Who lacks the Klingon will to fight!
Phaser beams set his torso aglow--
He'll find it hard to breathe tonight!

He knows that Worf is on his way!
And soon he'll be the object of the verb "to slay"!
And ev'ry slinking Rom and Pakled spy
Will soon become the subject of the verb "to die"!

And so I'm offering this simple threat
To Roms, and all Ferengi, too:
You'll be as dead as a life-form can get--
Merry Christmas to you!

[Voyager`]

ok heres alot more





A long, long time ago,
I can still remember
How adventure used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had a ship,
I could take some fateful trips,
And boldly visit new worlds in fine style,
But a thing called Q got in the way,
Walls everywhere gave us delay,
At Farpoint we were winning,
Seven-year voyage beginning.
I can't remember if I cried
When I learned my synapses would be fried,
But my involvement was not denied
The day the Terrans died.


So,
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will be the day that you die,
This will be the day that you die."


Did you tie up all your grapevines?
Did you see gray beards, facial lines
On the crew you flew with years ago?
Now do you believe in Fleet orders
Despite temptation across borders?
To start a war now or then's a big no-no!
And I know that you're in love with Bev,
Despite divorce, your engines rev.
You both tried oh so hard,
To be Captain Picard.
I had a brand new ship and a tight red shirt,
Didn't want my new crew's feelings hurt,
But I had to call that red alert
The day the Terrans died.


I started singing:
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will be the day that you die,
This will be the day that you die."


Now for five years Tasha's been twice dead,
O'Brien's doing tech instead,
But that's not how it used to be.
When LaForge saw me with his own eyes,
His belly had some added size,
And he'd finally made Dr. Brahms a mom of three.
Oh but while Picard looked so sublime,
He shifted to another time.
The crew was fresh and green,
No new-improved machines!
And while Romulans on the border massed,
The captain came back from the past,
And we watched the strange and shrinking blast
The day the Terrans died.



We were singing:
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will be the day that you die,
This will be the day that you die."


Kitty, Kitty in Cambridge City,
The android Data's sitting pretty,
To the Neutral Zone at Warp thirteeeeeeeen ...
The Pasteur was on no milk run,
In dangerous space and with few guns,
With the Admiral in his cloaked, refit machine.
Now the old French air was sweet brimstone,
As life on Earth was still unknown,
The peptides tried to dance,
Whoa, but they never got the chance!
For the anti-time devolved the soup,
Humanity thrown out of the loop,
Do you recall what was the scoop,
The day the Terrans died?


We started singing:
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will be the day that you die,
This will be the day that you die."


And there we were all in one place,
An anomaly in time and space,
With Enterprises then and now,
So come on, Jean-Luc Picard, take a stab,
Anti-time must flow sdrawkcab,
This thing must be sealed off and you know how.
And as I watched him in the court,
With our race making fun and sport,
No answer yes or no,
Would tell me where to go.
And as the starships flew into the night
To set whatever was wrong right,
I saw Q there laughing with delight,
The day the Terrans died.


He was singing:
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will be the day that you die,
This will be the day that you die."


I met a girl who played some cards
And I told her I was Jean-Luc Picard,
And she just smiled and let me play.
I went down to the corridor
Where I'd asked the time so long before,
But the couple there told me it was today.
And on the ship the children screamed,
The bridge crew worked and the away-teams beamed,
But no alerts were spoken ...
The subspace wasn't broken.
And the three folks that I'd always liked:
The Klingon, Troi, and William Rike'
They told their bad feelings to take a hike
The day the Terrans died.


And they were singing:
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will be the day that you die,
This will be the day that you die."


They were singing:
Bye bye, there is no second try,
Drove my starship to the time rift but the shockwave flew by,
Our old pal Q was putting humans on trial
Singing, "This will never end; I'll drop by!"





Theme From Gilligan's Island



Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a maiden trip,
That started from this deep space port,
Aboard this Starfleet ship.
The mate was a mighty dorky guy,
The skipper, bald and bold,
The ship was ordered to Farpoint,
For a two-part episode, a two-part episode.


The ship got captured by the Q,
The awful script was rough,
If not for the fervor of the fearless fans,
We would have turned it off, we would have turned it off.


Now, the ship is boldly going
Where no one has gone before,
With Jean-Luc Picard, and Riker too,
The red-head Doc, and her son,
The Betazoid,
An android and a Klingon man,
Here on the Enterprise!





We Didn't Start The Series
(Sung to the tune of: "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel)


Jean Luc,
Geordi's Specs,
Mysteries on the Holodecks

Asteroids,
Triple Droids,
Telepathic Betazoids

Transporter
Deadly Claw
Visitor from L.A. Law

Photons,
No Kirk,
Captain who has gone berzerk

Shuttlecraft,
Counselor Troi,
Doctor Crusher's little boy

Klingon Rites,
Parasites,
New Heights,
Phaser Fights,
Data's Head,
Tasha's Dead,
Riker's Hangin' by a thread

Celebration,
Transformation,
Everyone to battle stations

We didn't start the series,
It's the Next Generation
on your favorite station

We didn't start the series,
But when we are gone it will
still be on and on and on...

We didn't start the series...





50 Ways To Kill An Ensign
(To the tune of: "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon)
(Credit: Joel Polowin --- http://www.cyberus.ca/~jpolowin/filkstuf


The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to me
The red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security!"
And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to see
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign

He takes a landing party down to find what's going on
A couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come along
And then before you know it - the `expendables' are gone
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Fifty ways to kill an ensign

Just step on a rock, Jock
Get thorns from some plants, Lance
A Horta can spray, Ray
Just listen to me
Clouds drink up your blood, Bud
Computers can kill, Bill
You could lose all your salt, Walt
Kirk gets away free...

She said it grieves me so to see you with such nerves
Not ev'ryone who goes with Kirk will suffer from this curse
But then of course, you must recall - they sometimes suffer worse
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign

Just tell him, "I'm not stupid and I'm not expendable
I'm not going!" Tell him that he's a Denebian slime devil
And he's overbearing, swaggering, and dictatorial
He'll find a new way to kill an ensign
Fifty-one ways to kill an ensign





You Could Call Us Dead
(Based: "Living On The Edge" by Aerosmith. Submitted by Daniel Aitken)


There's something wrong with the core today,
but I know what it is.
A punctured reactor coil.

We'd better get our sorry,
little rear ends outta here!
It looks like it'll blow!

You could call us dead!
You could call us dead!
You could call us dead!
You could call us dead!

Well, captain, I've got news to give,
We'll soon be blowing up.
Our engines are going to explode!

If you could get us outta here,
with out warp factor at all,
then captain, your a better man than I!

(Ungh) You could call us dead!
(Antimatter streams are flowin')
You could call us dead!
(Can't do anything at all)
You could call us dead!
(Antimatter streams are flowin')
You could call us dead!

Our warp drive is heating hotter,
Leaking matter and antimatter,
We're in trouble you see.

Tell me do ya think we could do seperation,
making tracks without cremation,
it's better you see.

Well something's wrong with the core today,
And it's been crankin' on for weeks!
You shoulda turned it off,
now were going to pop!
Well, now you'd better get us outta here!

(boom)
(Boom)
(BOom)
(BOOm)
(BOOM) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

You could call us dead!
(Antimatter streams are flowin')
You could call us dead!
(Can't do anything at all)
You could call us dead!
(Antimatter streams are flowin')
You could call us dead!
You could call us dead!
(Can't do anything,can't do anything)
You could call us dead!
(Can't do anything,can't do anything)
You could call us dead!
(Can't do anything at alllllllll)
You could call us dead, whoah, whoah!! Yeah yea
yea! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yea yea yea
yea yea.........





You May Be Right (I May Be Lazy)
(Sung by Riker, to the tune of: "You May Be Right" by Billy Joel)
(Credit: John G. Shaw [email protected])


Friday night was a poker party
Saturday I had no worries
Sunday came and holodecked again
I was only Number One
Not commanding anyone
On Raisa, enjoyed the weekend with a game

A ship stranded in the neutral zone
I talked Worf into going alone
Even told you, Jean-Luc Picard I'd refrain
And I said, The Enterprise
Was to be my home for life
A point you said I had proved all too plain

You may be right
I may be lazy
But I just may be the Number One you're looking for
Turned down the Dreadnought
Don't try to persuade me
Said all along, that I won't go, so it's all for naught

Remember how you found me there
One step from the captain's chair
You told me thirty ships needed my style
Wasn't looking for command
I said take me as I am
I might offset your baldness with my smile

Now think of all the years you tried to
Find captains for the Yamato
I might be as lazy as you say
If I'm lazy then I know
I don't want to leave this show
And you wouldn't want me unless I stayed

You may be right
I may be lazy
But I just may be the Number One you're looking for
Too late to fight
Too late to exchange me
Said all along, that I won't go, so you may be right

You may be right
I may be lazy
But I just may be the Number One you're looking for
Explode the ship
Won't even cave me
Said all along, that I won't go, so you may be right

You may be wrong but you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right

You may be wrong but you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right





Wesley
(A parody of: "Windy" by The Association)


Who's just become the Enterprise helmsman
Despite the fact that Picard hates kids?
Who's here to dazzle us with his genius
Everyone knows it's Wesley!

Who makes us groan when he's on camera
Making us think of "Barney in Space"?
Who should be bound and gagged in a corner?
Everyone knows it's Wesley.

And Wesley gets on the nerves
Of the captain that he serves
We all agree he deserves
An ugly fate (an ugly fate)
We just can't wait (we just can't wait)

We know that he's smart, it's true

But we just wish to God, that Q
Would save the day (would save the day)
Take Wes away (take Wes away)

Who knows the meaning of nepotism
Who can kiss butt with the very best?
Who needs a date with some Cardassians?
Everyone shout out--Wesley!





Borg Part
(Sung by Riker, to the tune of: "Big Shot" by Billy Joel)
(Credit: John G. Shaw [email protected])


Well, you were Jean-Luc Picard on a Borg machine
Shed your fine sharp Enterprise clothes
You had a damn pair of tongs for a hand
and a tube up your nose

Ooooh, when you wake up in the morning
With your head of wires
And your lens too bloody to see
Go on and try getting Geordi
But don't take captain from me

You had to be a Borg part, didn't ya
You had to Borgify your mouth
You had to be a Borg part, didn't ya
All your friends go so shot down
You had to have the last world, that's nice
Blow the Enterprise about
You had to have the white hot spotlight
You had to be a Borg part, last night

Well, they were all impressed with you, Locutus
And the people that they took of Guinan's
And the stories of Q's being a pest
Kept 'em so entertained

Ahhhh, but now you just don't remember all the assimilating
And you're not sure that you want to know
I'll tell you one thing, baldy
You sure did piss off Sisko

Yes, yes, you had to be a Borg part, didn't ya

You had to merge into a crowd
You had to be a Borg part, didn't ya
All your friends are so shocked now
You had to have the last world, that's nice
You're no more fun to be around
You had to be the brunt age, cold type
You had to be a Borg part, last night

Well, it's no big sin to pick your new best friends
If you know when to send in a clone
But you went over the line
You shouldn't have led that cube to our home

No, no, no,no, no, no you had to be a Borg part, didn't ya

You had to Borgify your mouth
You had to be a Borg part, didn't ya
All your friends are so shocked now
You had to have the last world, last night
No more fun to be around
You had to have the white hot spotlight
You had to be a Borg part, last night





Number One
(Sung by Riker, to the tune of: "Piano Man" by Billy Joel)
(Credit: John G. Shaw [email protected])


It's Nine O'clock on the Enterprise
The Ten Forward crowd shuffles in
There's a bald man sitting next to me
Tugging hard on his tunic and pin

He says, 'Number One, can you play me a memory'
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
'Fore the Borg put things up my nose

Play us a song, You're the Number One
Play us a song, very sharp
We're all on the ship for an eternity
And you got us reeling at warp

Now Worf at the bar is a friend of mine
He gives me chills with his grin
He's quick with a choke and throws a few pokes
But in fights, he'll never win

He says, "Will, I believe this is killing me"
as he smiled showing teeth of his race
Well I'm sure I could be a movie star
If I had another man's face

Play us a song, You're the Number One
Play us a song, so sweet
We're all in the mood for shore leave
And you got us loving Starfleet

Now Bev is a medical practitionist
Who no longer is somebody's wife
And she's talkin' with Geordi who's sittin' with Barclay
And probably will be for life

And Guinan is practicing counseling
As Deanna becomes annoyed
Yes, they're sharing a role they call counselor
But it's better than being unemployed

(INSTRUMENTAL)

Play us a song, You're the Number One
Play us a song, so clean
We're all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling serene

It's a pretty good crowd for a stardate
But Deanna motions to the door
Cause she knows that it's me she's been wanting to see
Where no man has gone before

And my trombone sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and they gaze at the stars
And say, "Man, there's just no life out here"

Oh La La La Dee Dee Dah





Bohemian Rhapsody
(Sung to the tune of: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)
(Credit: Conor Joseph Greyston [email protected])


Data: Is everyone ready? Lets begin. (blows into a harmonica)

ALL: Is this the real life ?
Is this just fantasy ?
Caught in a wormhole...
no escape from reality.

Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see...


Wesley: I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
ALL: Because I'm easy come, easy go.

Data & Wesley: Little High
LaForge & O'Brien: Little Low

Wesley: Any way the wind blows
ALL: Doesn't really matter to me.....

Wesley: To me....

(a holographic image of Riker starts playing the keyboard line)


Wesley: Mama,
Just killed a Rom.
Put a phaser to his head,
pushed the button, now he's dead.

Mama, life has just begun,
and now I've gone and thrown it all away.
Mama... oooohhhh,
didn't mean to make you die.

If I'm court-martialled here this time tomorrow,
carry on... carry on...
cuz it doesn't really matter.

Too late... my time has come.
Sent shivers down my spine,
cadets whining all the time.
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go.
Gotta leave you all behind or face Jean-Luc...
Mama..oooohhhhh


Other 3: Anyway the wind blows


Wesley: I don't wanna die!
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.


(The other 3 hold up signs saying "So Do We!" as a holographic image of
Worf plays the guitar line)



Wesley: I see a little Telerite on the viewer.


Other 3: Scare Jean Luc, Scare Jean Luc,
will you do the Borg dance, though?


ALL: Phaserbolt and fighting, very very frightening, ME!


Data & Wesley: Galileo
O'Brien & LaForge: Galileo
Data & Wesley: Galileo

O'Brien & LaForge: Galileo
ALL: Galileo Shuttle, oh


Data & Wesley: Stargazer, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Wesley: I'm just a bright boy, everybody loves me.


Other 3: He's just a bright boy, from a bright family,
Spare us our lives from this monstrosity.


Wesley: Easy come, easy go, you can't make me go!


Other 3: This moron, GO!
We want this boy to go!
Data & LaForge: Make him go!

Other 3: This moron, we want this boy to go!
Data & LaForge: Make him go!
Other 3: Want this boy to go.
Data & LaForge: Make him go.
Other 3: Want this boy to go.
Wesley: Never
Other 3: Make him goooooooooooooooo.



ALL: Go go go go go go GO!


Wesley: Oh mamma mia, mamma mia.
Other 3: Mamma mia's dead, you know.


Other 3: Beverly C's got a devil for a son.
Wesley...Wesley...WesLEY!!!!!

Wesley: Nothing really matters, anyone can see.
Nothing really matters,
nothing really matters...
to... me.


ALL: Anywhere the wind blows....


(Data lightly bangs the gong.)


Data: Program off.

[Transwarp13]

damn, thats long! good job! lol.