"On" essays

[Sam Kenobi]

I have to write these for my Creative Writing: Non-Fiction class. These are probably not the ones I'll use, but they're fun. Please add your own. Remember... non-fiction. Because according to Montaigne, everything is worth writing about.



On Monsters

Hey inkblot� remember that time I looked at you and kind of jumped because I thought you were scary? Well, then I just realized you were ink in a blot and that I was just a teenager trying to believe there was something special about me and that I saw things that no one else did.


On Lying

My sister actually was having a baby.


On Having to Pee

Sometimes it�s better to hold it because something important might happen while you�re in the bathroom. Just don�t miss the important sh*t that happens in the bathroom while you�re holding your pee.


On the Fox Archetype

He�s a sneaky little b*stard with only one thing on his mind; he just wants to live and survive like the rest of us. But don�t let him deceive you, because he�s not like the rest of us. He�s a fox. And the rest of us are not.

[Sam Kenobi]

On Being Ignored

One usually feels that if he is being ignored, the best thing to do is talk louder and interrupt everyone else around him. In all reality, however, history has taught us all that the only way to catch the attention of anyone worth having the attention of is to kill something. The French Revolution taught us this, and look how far it has gotten France.