Janeway or Picard

Captain Hawk · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:43 am Janeway or Picard**

Me and one of my friends are having a debate, which captain is the best
Janeway or Picard... Not that I want to influence the votes or anything but people should read the following first

REASONS WHY CAPTAIN JANEWAY IS BETTER THAN CAPTAIN PICARD
One word: hair
More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers combined.
Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
Beams down to the planet like real Captains should.
Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
Keeps her First Officer properly in the dark.
Can speak "technobabble" with the best of them.
Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.
Picard could never act like a prostitute to gain a tactical advantage.
Commanded ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 1/2
Voyager needs a female Captain. Its Captain must be willing to admit they're lost and pull over for directions.
Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet.
Looks better in sleepwear.
Gives guilt trips that would make a Jewish mother proud.
Isn't French with an English accent.
"Take this cheese to sickbay!" I don't know why this is here, either, but I loved that line!
Will give you two days off to ponder your lifeshattering experience.
When Janeway lands her ship, it can take off again.
Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to behave better.
To comfort children, Janeway cares for them in a loving motherly way. Picard sings a song...in French...about a monk...who can't wake up for morning bells.
The only child on Voyager is a cute little thing with horns.
Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo.
Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way.
Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles.
Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasle her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
40 episodes without surrendering the ship.
40 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship.
Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniouses who yet again take over the ship.
She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.
Janeway has never worn green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. However, if she did, she would look fantastic!
Same level of sexual tension between Doctor and Captain.
Has kids and they're cute little things.
Never worries about meeting a son she never knew she had.
Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt; Janeway would look... no, they can't do that on network television.
Cheese
Doesn't force her crew to wear awful outfits, unless it is to blend in with a primitive planet.
She doesn't waste time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English.
Her engineer does not wear a bananna clip over her eyes.
Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
Doesn't have a Counselor on board (thank God!).
Her telepath only lives nine years.
Janeway heard the words "boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone before" and took them to the extreme.
45,000 light-years is one thing. Every point in the universe instantaneously? That's excessive!
Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day come to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the deadliest of force."
Janeway's holo-characters fall in love with her. Picard's holo-characters want to kill him.
Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail.
The high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only Worf could stomach.
Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.
Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris, are YOU ever stupid."
Doesn't need her first officer's permission to blow up her ship.
The highest field commision Picard ever gave out was "Acting Ensign."
Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself!
Hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
Has a more manly voice.
Doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight spot.
Has a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish!
Had sex with a crewmember and "might have initiated it."
Kes. Troi. No contest.
Nealix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.
At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she wants something to drink.
Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles.
Her CONN officer actually went through the Academy.
Her CONN officer can use contractions.
Her first officer has a halucinogenic device.
Her Security Officer draws his phaser at the first hint of trouble. Picard's Security Officer gets beat up by half the aliens that come aboard.
Hostile aliens surrounding her, half the crew are spies, the nearest help is 75 years away, and she's still kept the ship together.
None of the crew members' relatives have ever tried to take over the ship, invade the Federation, steal a starship, or enslave all humankind.
To help her relax, Janeway's first officer helps her contact her spirit guide. Picard's first officer helps him get . . . to Risa.
Riker never smiled at Picard that way.
Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him and she accepted.

Thanks for your time and please vote

Founder · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:34 pm**

Are you actually implying that Janeway is a better captain than Picard?

Good point. That must be why she was given command of the flagship...oh...wait....

Lord Borg · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:39 pm**

La Forge · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:24 pm**

1. One word: bald
2. Again...one word: bald
3. Drinks Earl Grey tea. Much better than that addicting "coffee" stuff.
4. Tries to beam down to the planet, but, his respectable First Officer stops him from doing so, like a good First Officer should.
5. Kisses the Doctor when she gets out of line.
6. Respects his First Officer
7. Doesn't speak technobabble because it gets annoying.
8. Has let an intelligent adolescent pilot a Federation flagship. Janeway has allowed some ignorant ladies man pilot a puny "wittle" science vessel.
9. Picard would never act like a prostitute because he has his pride. Janeway's a *beep*.
10. Commanded ships that matter: Picard: 3 Janeway: 0
11. The Enterprise needs a Captain. Voyager has none, unless you count that idiot Janeway one (what a joke!)
12. Picard CAN quote Shakespeare. Janeways quotes Sesame Street.
13. Janeway looks like a man in sleepwear...BURN!
14. Yells at people that would make a drill sergeant proud.
15. Is French with an English accent.
16. Doesn't tell people to take cheese to the Sickbay
17. Will give you 0 days to ponder your lifeshattering experience (MWHAHAHAHAHA!)
18. The Enterprise is the FLAGSHIP. Voyager is...uhh..a science vessel? Hmmmm...I'll let you do the math.
19. I'm getting to lazy to do anymore.
20. Picard and Beverly actually get together. Do Chakotay and Janeway? Does Janeway get together with anyone? Maybe...'cuz she's a *beep*.
21. PICARD RULES!!!

Founder · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:38 pm**

I love number 9.

La Forge · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:41 pm**

That would be my favorite as well...thought I do like #12 and #18

DeltasVoyager · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:22 pm**

hard decision but i went with Picard

Lord Borg · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:32 pm**

I like Picard more,

and La Forge?....

....

Funny post

MakeItSo · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:41 pm**

I like both lists, and I like Janeway and Picard, but I relate to Janeway more so I picked her. Although, when I was little, I wanted to be just like Picard...except not bald.

Valathous · **Tue Apr 18, 2006 10:19 pm**

Picard is far superior. I was hoping Chakotay would mutiny on Janeway. He almost did but changed his mind. Got my hopes up then crushed them,

Janeway was the worst captain. Picard could mop the floor with her. He may have been diplomatic but he could fight when he needed to. Just look at "Nemesis." He even invented his own manoeuvre that is used throughout Starfleet.

La Forge · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:56 am**

Go France!!!

Tuvok8917 · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:49 am**

Even Archer is a better Captain then Janeway. You know, i think that even Harry Kim makes a better Captain then her!

La Forge · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:55 am**

I think that...I know, I'm going out on a limb here...Wesley Crusher would be a better captain than Janeway...Jake Sisko! NOG!!!

Admiral Dani�l · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:51 am**

Captain Hawk · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:36 pm Points for all you Enterprise whores out there:**

just thoght id make a point aobut the Soverign Class Enterprise, the Enterprise-E.... WOULD NEVER EXIST IF IT WASNT FOR VOYAGER

Three years after Voyagers triumphant return to the Alpha Quadrant, the USS Enterprise-D was decomissioned, and the Soverign Class, which was inspired from Voyager due to Voyagers numerous upgrades on the way such as Quantum SlipStream structural enhancments, borg shielding and sensors etc etc etc... Without Voyager... YOU BALD LOVING FREAKS WOULDNT HAVE ANYONE TO WORSHIP WHOS HEAD HAS MORE GLARE THAN ALPHA CENTAURI!!!

Lord Borg · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:04 pm**

You could not be more wrong. Well, you probably could, but anyways.....

First Contact was set in 2373, it was said the ship was lunched a year before, thats 2372, which means the prototype was luanched in 2371, or earlier,.... Ent-E at the time, was the most advanced ship in the fleet...

Let's take a look at Voy's launch...

2371, and the ship regained contact when? 2374/75? Oh, sorry Looks like your dead wrong.

FYI, Ent-D was destroyed 2371. Voy has nothing to do with Ent-E

Captain Hawk · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:24 pm WRONG PFFFT**

"Also known as the Enterprise-E to distinguish it from its predecessors, this vessel was launched on stardate 49827.5 (2372) from San Francisco Fleet Yards"

Enterprise E was launched in the year 2372
USS Voyager returned home in the year 2371

"In the year 2371, Voyager returned home to Earth after Admiral Janeway (Captain Janeway's future self) traveled back in time to get the ship home."

dont put a phaser to my head im just relaying information i find

Lord Borg · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:25 pm**

Ummm.... NO, Voyager returned from the Delta Quadrant n 2378.....

La Forge · **Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:26 pm**

*Ahem*

2371 is when it LEFT. It came back in 2378. I knew that and I hate VOY...

Anyhoo...VOY had nothing to do with Ent-E. Enterprise-E is much more advanced the VOY. Ent-E was designed and constructed before VOY left.

By the way...what do you have against being bald?

Voyager2004 · **Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:37 pm Re: WRONG PFFFT**

Illogical13 · **Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:07 pm**

Er, no contest. Janeway all the way! Picard being bald was NOT a good thing, the only thing i have against janeway is that her voice sounds like shes got a sock in her throat, but otherwise she rocked as a captain, plus shes a woman! No offence guys... well, maybe a bit, but nevertheless janeway was way better.

Lord Borg · **Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:28 pm**

Well, arguing againts picard because he's bald is stupid, it's not like it was stewarts choice to be bald lol.

La Forge · **Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:35 pm**

Janeway sounds like she has a stick up...oh...I'm not going there.

What do you have against bald people? Sisko was bald!!! Lots of people are bald! I bet you that there are famous people who were bald and I am too lazy to search them up...

Blech...

startrekgirltng · **Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:31 pm**

*jumps out of chair* (while watching star trek tng) GO PICARD!!!

Picard is so much better:
better diplomat
actually calms down for a minute without it looking fake or stupid
posted on door of trailer " unkown british shakeperian actor" (was in news paper)

He was borgified
actually had a weakness (kids)
great actor

Founder · **Sun Apr 23, 2006 4:22 pm**

Like La Forge said, Sisko was bald. There was nothing with that. Not to mention, how that affect a person's skills? If Janeway is SO much better, why was she so hypocritical and evil?