What's wrong with me?

[madlilnerd]

And no jokes. I know I'm a freak, but I'm trying to be serious here.

Lately, I have really been freaking myself out. Unless I'm in school uniform, I find it really hard to leave the house. When I do, I feel like everyone is looking at me/watching me. I get scared when people know my real, full name, and I've started becoming really paranoid recently. I constantly check where I am for CCTV cameras, especially at school.
I broke down in a shopping centre today and had to blink back tears because I couldn't cope. There were thousands and thousands of people, and I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand them, they all looked so perfect and they were all seeing me. I keep wishing I was invisible on demand so that people wouldn't see me. I'm getting more and more reluctant to leave the house not wearing uniform. I'm constantly scared of people seeing me, judging me, that I'm wearing the wrong thing.
This doesn't make sense. I'm not a shallow person, I don't spend hours on my looks and I have absolutely no idea what is going on.
My biology teacher says that I have low self esteem.
One of my friends says I'm becoming bipolar, another says I'm developing paranoia and a third thinks I might be agoraphobic.

I just wondered if any of you could help me.

Mods, if you think this doesn't belong here, feel free to lock it. I just wanted to ask advice, and be heard, and I wasn't sure that if I did that in my TIM that anyone would look there.

[Brightstar82]

it sounds like you got a panic/anxiety disorder. I suffer from that and I use to be like really paranoid, thought people were laughing at me and stuff. However it might not be. its just a suggestion

[Puck]

I am tending to lean towards what your last two friends said in thinking that you may be suffering from a paranoia disorder, or agoraphobia. It doesn't really matter what any of us say though. What matters is that this is clearly interfering with your ability to live your normal day to day life, and you should probably go to a doctor or psychiatrist to get diagnosed so that you can receive any treatment that you may need.

[squiggy]

Personally, I can understand and relate.
For about 3 years, I was very creeped out about everything, and I totally understand the school-uniform thing.
I had one in high school, and I just kinda moved it to my work-uniform, lol.
Anyways, the only thing I can recommend is to accept it, or seek professional help for it.
Accepting it is cheaper, and probably better for you, because you start to realize, it's nothing wrong with you. It's simply who you are.

[Lord Borg]

I'd recomend you see a doctor, this sounds serious, let us know whats going on, be well.

[B'Elanna Torres 7 of 9]

Continue this discussion in Madlilnerd's TIM:

http://www.startrekvoyager.com/viewtopic.php?t=20880&start=1325

*locked*