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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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 Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:02 pm There's no such thing as stupid questions only stupid people |
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So, I got this in an email. It's real questions asked by people outside of Canada who plan on attending the Vancouver winter Olympics in 2010.
| Quote: | >2010 Winter Olympics
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympic these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!!!!!.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the
hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.
Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and
in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
And my personal favourite...........
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. |
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Hitchhiker
Rear Admiral
Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 3514
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:41 pm |
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LOL.
See you guys at the hippo races. 
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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:54 pm |
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Sorry, I won't be there. I'll be too busy foraging for imported berries before all the plants die.
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TrekkieMage
Office Junkie
Joined: 17 Oct 2004
Posts: 5335
Location: Hiding
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 4:53 pm |
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*dies laughing*
That's good... 
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madlilnerd
Duchess of Dancemat
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 5885
Location: Slough, England
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:04 pm |
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| Quote: | Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving. |
That one's not too stupid. Maybe some American's think that Candians are just messed up British?
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada?
A: No, we just print our own money in our basements...
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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:10 pm |
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WHO TOLD YOU?! 
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:12 pm |
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We often have church youth trips to Canada. One of the boys was once concerned because he didn't speak "Canadian",  It was quite amusing, as our asst. pastor is Canadian.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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squiggy
Stooge Two
Joined: 09 Mar 2004
Posts: 3007
Location: Messing with the fabric of Video Game realities. I'll summon Shiva on you! I SWEAR!
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| Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:14 pm |
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I'm surprised no one asked questions like:
"How do you get an ATM to run in your starbucks igloos?"(...Dude...)
"What is the true meaning of Eh?"(Ha! Americans actually think that word has a real meaning... I don't believe it guys..they still haven't got it, eh?)
"Why do you guys use metric instead of normal-people thinking?"(??)
"If I go to canada, do I have to get a metric pin number for my bank card?"(Nah...we're not american)
"Can you tell me a good sled-dog rental company?"(Try Rent-a-car or U-haul....)
"Which side of the road do sled-dogs ride on? Is it different then the snowmobiles?"(Sled dogs going north or eastbound on the right, south or westbound on the left, Snowmobiles is vice-versa)
"Do pedestrians still have the right of way?"(Only if they are wearing snow shoes)
"How do mounties catch up with Snowmobile thieves if they ride moose-thingys?"(Ummm....kay....)
Seriously... I stopped going into chat rooms because of quesitons like those....but still... it would have been funny to hear the Olympic Commity find answers for them.
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madlilnerd
Duchess of Dancemat
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 5885
Location: Slough, England
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| Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:11 pm |
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| Valathous wrote: | | WHO TOLD YOU?! |
A moose in the Candian maffia. He also apologised for Bryan Adams again.
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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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| Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:27 pm |
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Hehe, Bryan Adams. You just can't hate this song, though!
I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it til my fingers bled
It was the summer of '69
Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shoulda known we'd never get far
Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
That's not all of it, of course
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Joey
Rear Admiral
Joined: 13 Jul 2001
Posts: 4708
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| Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:42 pm |
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middle school band at my church sung this song!
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Starbuck
faster...
Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Posts: 8715
Location: between chaos and melody
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| Wed Mar 22, 2006 4:24 pm |
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Didn't I see you in the bushes a few weeks ago, Dan?
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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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| Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:58 pm |
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Most likely, I mean, there's only about 3 or 4 hundred of us up here.
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Tuvok8917
Dutchie
Joined: 15 May 2004
Posts: 4205
Location: On my way back home
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:37 pm |
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Whahahahahahahahahahahaha.... And then they say i'm stupid, but these people are really stupid LOL!
Here are some questions i have heard from people who want to come Holland:
Do they really make cheese in Holland?
No, we only make round yellow things you can eat.
Does holland have a queen?
No, our country is ruled by a gaylord.
Are there any things to do/see in Holland?
No, our country is very dull.
Do they have import/export in Holland?
No, we only have our own products.
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stroppy
Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 80
Location: Oz
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:49 pm |
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You should hear what people ask about Australia...like:
Do you have a pet koala / kangaroo? (No... Most of us live in the city and ownership of local fauna is prohibited)
Do you have cities? (Yes, most big cities in Australia are not unlike LA)
Do you have electricity? (Duhh! pffft!)
Do you have running water? (Jeeze...my State has the purest drinking water in the world...better than bottled water, mostly)
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lionhead
Rear Admiral
Joined: 26 May 2004
Posts: 4020
Location: The Delta Quadrant (or not...)
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:42 pm |
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Austalians are weird... No offense stroppy. really, such a big country and only 16 million inhabitants? Kangaroo's? and then that accent....
-------signature-------
Never explain comedy or satire or the ironic comment. Those who get it, get it. Those who don't, never will. -Michael Moore
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harrykims#1fan
Fan Girl Muskateer
Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 2916
Location: Leicester UK
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:49 pm |
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| Quote: | Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. |
I best get my walkin boots on 
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syd2002
Admiral
Joined: 25 Mar 2002
Posts: 8919
Location: Somewere in the world, makeing a difference
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:52 pm |
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Yeah, its pretty funny how ignorant poeple can be about us.
I find it quite amuzing that if you go in a classroom in Canada and ask the students what they know about the US they will often know just about everything.
As for on the other hand in the US, well, some of them can't spell it.
Kanada?
It shows how American culture is so popular up here
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stroppy
Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 80
Location: Oz
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:41 pm |
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| lionhead wrote: | | Austalians are weird... No offense stroppy. really, such a big country and only 16 million inhabitants? Kangaroo's? and then that accent.... |
BEEEEP...wrong! 21.5 million people, mate! Accent...all countries have their own accent... Australia is no different to other nations in this regard. Where are you from, I wonder...
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:55 pm |
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I have to concur with the topic title.
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lionhead
Rear Admiral
Joined: 26 May 2004
Posts: 4020
Location: The Delta Quadrant (or not...)
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| Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:44 am |
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| stroppy wrote: | | lionhead wrote: | | Austalians are weird... No offense stroppy. really, such a big country and only 16 million inhabitants? Kangaroo's? and then that accent.... |
BEEEEP...wrong! 21.5 million people, mate! Accent...all countries have their own accent... Australia is no different to other nations in this regard. Where are you from, I wonder... |
Alright, 21.5 million...In such a big continent.. Nope, still sounds weird. Australia is 7.6 million square miles and 21.5 million people live on it.... The Netherlands(where i come from) is only 33 thousand square miles and 16 million people live here.... Australia is 230 times bigger then the Netherlands so in comparison if Autralia would have the same population density as the Netherlands it would have a population of 3.6 Billion! Hard to imagine huh?
Couldn't you give some of that space to us?
Yeah sure all countries have theor own accent but the australian ones are so.... uhm... how do i call that?
well, you know Rex Hunt and Steve Irwin right? Thats the accent, that over-exaggarated(sp?).
"G'day Mate!"
I just think its funny, i think Rex hunt is funny with that accent but its a bit annoying sometimes too, but i have that with Steve Irwin more.
-------signature-------
Never explain comedy or satire or the ironic comment. Those who get it, get it. Those who don't, never will. -Michael Moore
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stroppy
Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 80
Location: Oz
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| Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:56 am |
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Joey, most Aussies don't speak like Rex Hunt and Steve Irwin. I think they like to exaggerate their accents for foreign audiences...It obvioulsy works because you and many other people all over the world have heard of them and they have made a packet of money. Personally I dislike their speaking voices and many average people here would agree with me. Most Aussies speak with a sort of neutral accent, I suppose. Think of the way Americans speak and remove the drawn-out "r" sound and add a bit of British accent and I think you'll come up with a speaking voice approximating the average Australian accent.
As for giving up our territory...no way. The Japanese tried this in WW2 and they got a blood nose from our troops with the assistance of the US Allied Coral Sea naval battle group. BTW, most of the land area here is desert Joey and if you looked at the green sections of the continent the total usable land mass wouldn't be all that big. So, sorry, stay in Europe thanks. Anyway...you guys make great chocolate, apple sauce and cheese. You have that to look forward to, huh?
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:22 pm |
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On topic, please.
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