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Arellia The Quiet One
Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Posts: 4425 Location: Dallas, TX
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Sun Jan 29, 2006 4:39 pm ...or Someone Like You |
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This is a new character I've been working on... his name's Teveres, and he's introduced in this brief chapter--
...or Someone Like You
When Teveres hit the ground outside his father�s plantation, he stayed there. Like a slave, like a beaten child, like a rodent he dug his knees and hands into the ground, let the dirt agitate the skin beneath his fingernails. Spittle dropped from his lips to the moistened soil, he could feel his tongue sending a river of blood down his throat that choked him.
They have no knowledge of who they torment.
The men and women of the city--his city--cackled around him. No better than jackals these fiends, they commanded not a sliver of respect even with the strength of their number.
�Get up, Teveres, my lord.� Kav jeered, the burly field plower of square jaw and little etiquette. "Show us this strength you claim! Your father told us all about it��
Teveres seethed quietly. �My father is not dead.�
More howling. The beasts that surrounded him were pressuring him, compounding his rage, solidifying it until ever his body hardened from the strain.
�Your land is worthless!� One of the crows called, a stringy little women, wretched in any respect. �Your father and sisters have disappeared into the river. What will you do now, little one?�
When one of the men kicked him, Teveres didn�t move. He didn�t have to. He breathed in, out, calmed his heartbeat and closed his eyes. His eyes finally made claim to the chalky sky above, and when he looked back down, the townspeople all lay quietly, peacefully deceased. A smile made a hesitant tug at Teveres�s lips.
He fled.
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Superman Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003 Posts: 10220
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Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:28 pm |
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This is my first visit to Fan Fiction in quite a while.
I like it, Syd. You say it's a new character you've been working on, is there another post prior to this that I can look at?
It's very good. I judge fiction by one simple criteria - does it elicit emotion out of me? Your work did, Syd. I'd like to know more about Teveres, please.
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Lord Borg Fleet Admiral
Joined: 27 May 2003 Posts: 11214 Location: Vulcan Capital City, Vulcan
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Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:55 pm |
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Awesome work Sydney! I look foward to more
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Arellia The Quiet One
Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Posts: 4425 Location: Dallas, TX
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Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:41 pm |
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Superman wrote: | This is my first visit to Fan Fiction in quite a while.
I like it, Syd. You say it's a new character you've been working on, is there another post prior to this that I can look at?
It's very good. I judge fiction by one simple criteria - does it elicit emotion out of me? Your work did, Syd. I'd like to know more about Teveres, please. |
Thanks for the comments. Yes, I do have some other work on here from the same novel. The novel involves several groups of characters. The earliest chapter I have posted in fanfic is called The Addicts, and a later civilization is in one called Civ 57. All of them tie together in the actual novel, and Teveres is the latest character, who will later meet up with at least Ferin from The Addicts. It's...complicated. I like to have them examined individually, as each civilization is intended to be an entirely different playing field.
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Superman Fleet Admiral
Joined: 06 Dec 2003 Posts: 10220
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Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:51 pm |
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Thanks, Syd. I'll take a look.
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Arellia The Quiet One
Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Posts: 4425 Location: Dallas, TX
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Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:38 pm |
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(Note: Teveres is pronounced Tev-air-ess)
It was a long way to walk from Dolvia to Emtek. Teveres kicked the ground a little with every step. His green-flecked-gold eyes were downcast, hands in his pockets. The cracks in the ground spoke to the barrenness in the land. It was dry, an endless plain stretching out as far as he could see, with only the scarcest, dried fields in either direction. The path hadn�t been traveled in a while. There were farmhouses around, and the little town he came from, but lately people had been staying away from the outer country. It wasn�t any better out there. The drought in the past year had robbed the land of what was so good. All that was left had twisted the inhabitants of the land. It distilled hatred in many of them, so much that even he had come to hate.
One of those things he had grown to hate was dying. A lot of people had died in his time, mostly in the last year. People disappeared, eaten by scavengers or buried, and within a generation they�d be forgotten. Nobody wanted to die, anyway. It wasn�t fair to choose your action all your life and be destroyed for one misstep. As much as he hated death, he didn�t want to die. A person who hates death is put in an unfortunate position. Whose death did he hate more--his own, or that of others?
�Well, it�s a little late for that question,� Teveres muttered to himself. Five weeks previous he had made that choice and killed seven beings. Which only reminded him of another thing he hated. Himself.
�Bastards,� he muttered under his breath, digging his fingers deeper into his pockets. He didn�t mind killing them. The hatred wasn�t because he had killed. They asked for their deaths, they had asked for death openly, willingly. It was fear that drove the hatred of himself. He wasn�t a violent person. Not really, anyway. He�d never killed before, he�d made conscious decisions not to. That wasn�t the way things were any more. Suddenly, he saw what he really was--a skilled murderer, with the ability and carelessness to cause the deaths of too many people. He had to walk further.
Looking back up, he saw the dust-clouded horizon, and the clouds beyond it. It mocked the land. Clouds had moved in, but it wouldn�t rain. It was earthquake weather. There was only one good option left for him. Follow the clouds wherever they went, try to find good, soft ground. His father had been a planter. Teveres wasn�t as good at the profession, but he could grow enough to feed himself, and then maybe find�something. He didn�t know what he was looking for. That wasn�t the point. The point was getting as far away from Dolvia as he could get. Examining the sky, he smiled a little to himself.
Lightning ripped across the sky, striking a farmhouse miles in the distance. Animals scampered away from the fire, and Teveres paused to watch them.
�Run,� he said softly, �There�s nothing for you here.�
He watched with great intensity for the Drev that exited the farm. A flicker of his eyes and the Drev changed course, running across the plain straight for Teveres. Just the way he wanted.
The creature was tall and four-legged, with smooth, black rubbery skin and sharp almond-shaped eyes that flickered colors of fire. The face was almost as humanoid as his own, but with a longer jaw and more squat nose. It had an intricate bone structure making it almost too thin, and a mid-length tail that swished behind it. A quiet, curious nature, the Drev approached him as it was compelled to do, but afraid. Teveres smiled bitterly. It was a smart beast.
Teveres hummed a resonating sound into the space between them, low and calming, and reached out a hand to stroke the Drev�s cheek. The wise fire eyes hardened and it withdrew.
�Shh,� Teveres murmured, �I won�t hurt you, I swear it, Sea,� He lied, knowingly, with the face of an honest country child. He could guarantee no one�s safety, but the Drev didn�t need to know that, didn�t figure that out. It was too startled. Teveres had sensed its name. �Yes, Sea. I know You.�
The creature relaxed. Good. Still humming that same sound, Teveres carefully hoisted himself up on Sea�s back. Sea seemed to welcome him, to his satisfaction.
�Emtek. Now.� He whispered. Sea had accepted Teveres as his master, and the Drev kicked off at a trot down the lonely road.
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Lord Borg Fleet Admiral
Joined: 27 May 2003 Posts: 11214 Location: Vulcan Capital City, Vulcan
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Fri Sep 22, 2006 6:17 pm |
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Oh, wow. This is really good. I look foward to more.
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