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Mrs. Vulcan
Lieutenant


Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 174
Location: South Yorkshire England

PostWed Jan 04, 2006 3:55 pm    TIMESCAPE

Hi! Well, I've finally decided to post this first part of a first attempt at a Star Trek fanfic.
There are original characters at the beginning, but the story soon connects to the Voyager crew in the Delta Quadrant, so please be patient.
I've unsuccessfully tried a few times to get this to load, but I've eventually come to the conclusion to type it instead.
Please don't be tooooo hard on me if you think it's an abysmal failure, and any constructive criticism would be very welcom.

Mrs. Vulcan
______________________________________________________

TIMESCAPE
Part One

A few days after the Survey-ship; the T'Prynne had set out from the planet Ralaya on its four-week mission, the crew activated the ship's invisibility shield so that they wouldn't be detected by the early space travelling inhabitants and manoeuvred the ship into a low orbit around the planet.

Unable to summon the patience to keep in hiding any longer, for the sixth time since their departure, Tel'ar Vock nervously pulled his disrupter weapon from out of his jacket front, then crept out from the storage room at the stern of the ship. Although he didn't know if he could actually use a weapon against another sentient being, in desperation he had stolen it anyway and fled from his home when he had unexpectedly found himself alone for once.
The doors to the room slid open, and after listening for a moment, Tel'ar carefully made his way along the cramped corridor to try and find out if the ship had arrived at its intended destination. On hearing hurried footsteps coming down the metal steps from the control deck, he quickly slipped into a nearby room and hid in a dark corner behind a tall plant in the hope that whoever it was, hadn't heard the sliding of the doors. As the time ticked by and still no one came to investigate, he breathed a sigh of relief and started to head back towards the door.
He had only taken a few steps when he noticed the huge blue and cloud-speckled ball of a planet that almost engulfed the whole window. Already knowing that they were at the wrong planet, in panic he hurried to the window and leaned a hand on the thick glass whilst murmuring, "Where are we?"
The ship was supposed to go straight from Ralaya to the red-gold planet of Vulcan, where he had hoped to escape due to similar body features of the Vulcan's to those of his own world. The fact that he was going to have to try and control his emotions to be able to blend in was going to be a problem, but he had pushed that thought to the back of his mind to worry about later. But how could he even think about going onto an alien planet without even knowing what the inhabitants looked like, or if they even had space travel technology?
Tel'ar stared down at the planet's surface, then out towards the dark background of space. there was only one small station within sight, and various satellites floating nearby. There was nothing else for it, he would have to try and discover where he had obliviously been brought to, find out if the crew planned to go on to Vulcan, and hope that he wouldn't get caught in the process and taken back home.
The ship was only one of the small, eight-personel survey craft, and Tel'ar was soon on a level with the science laboratory. Expecting to find someone pouring over samples of soil and plant life, he stopped walking, glanced around the doorframe and squinted through one of the horizontal clear strips in the frosted and toughened glass door. Instead of plants and biological canisters, his eyes rested on the horrifying scene of an experiment in progress on a fully conscious, screaming humanoid that lay strapped on a table in the middle of the room. Despite his revulsion of what was taking place, Tel'ar found that he just couldn't turn away and carried on watching in digusted fascination.
"Who are you?" demanded an angry voice suddenly. "And what are you doing here?"
Tel'ar jumped in surprise as his head was painfully banged on the glass when the back of his jacket was grabbed and he was pushed forward before roughly being dragged round. The fact that Tel'ar was a full head taller didn't deter the crewman in the slightest, he impatiently pointed his own disrupter at at Tel'ar's head and shook the youngster's arm when he didn't get an immediate reply. "Well? I'm waiting! Who are you?"
Breathing deeply and trying to ignore the pain that was now pounding around his forehead, Tel'ar shook his arm free, stepped back and glared at the crewman as he lifted his own weapon.
Before either of them could say or do anything else, the scientist came out of the room brandishing his own disrupter and a knife and demanded, "Who's this?"
Realising what a dangerous situation he was in with the two weapons pointing at him, Tel'ar decided to pull rank and hope that he would be believed and treated with some respect. He folded his arms across his chest as he stared haughtily down into the angry black eyes and announced, "I am Tel'ar Vock."
For just a moment he thought he was on safe ground as the crewman warily backed off a couple of respectful steps.
"Tel'ar Vock?" repeated the scientist in a voice that dripped with sarcasm. "You're Tel'ar Vock?"
As Tel'ar nodded an affirmative, the scientist burst out laughing, then suddenly went silent before pointed his disrupter under the youngsters chin. "On your own? I don't think so. A member of the ruling house wouldn't be skulking down corridors of a science ship on his own and taking sneaky peaks into private rooms. I say you're here to spy and put an end to our profitable little scientific expeditions."
"You're making a big mistake," growled Tel'ar angrily. "I am from the ruling house and this is not science you're doing, it's torture and by law is not allowed."
"And who will find out about it?" asked the old crewman with a smirk creeping across his face. "It seems as though you're a hideaway, so who knows where you are? We arn't going home for a least another three weeks and all sorts of things could happen on some of those awful planets we visit. Wild beasts... slavers... merchants of body parts... The list just goes on and on."
Although he was absolutely petrified, Tel'ar just carried on staring haughtily down at them as though he was indifferent to their threats, there was no way he was going to let them see his fear.
"Get him out of my sight!" snarled the crewman eventually. "Before I throw him out of the airlock. We've got enough problems on this cursed ship without having to watch him as well."
Without another word, Tel'ar's disrupter was snatched from him and he was unceremoniously pushed into the science lab with the weapon still pointed at his head. "Get that thing cleaned up," ordered the supposed scientist as Tel'ar stumbled into the table. He then pressed the security lock on the corridor wall and walked away as the door automatically closed and locked and Tel'ar dived forward to try and stop it.
After uselessly pressing the door lock and having a futile attempt at trying to get his fingers into a non-existant gap down the middle of the glass to open the doors, in frustration, Tel'ar pounded the doors with his fists. Finally admitting defeat, he stood with his forehead leaning on the glass and snarled, "You won't hold me here for long."


Last edited by Mrs. Vulcan on Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:54 pm; edited 1 time in total


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Mrs. Vulcan
Lieutenant


Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 174
Location: South Yorkshire England

PostWed Jan 04, 2006 7:31 pm    

TIMESCAPE: Part Two

He suddenly remembered the alien was still in the room and warily turned round to look for it. "There you are," he murmured as it cowered under a workbench in the far corner. It was obviously frightened. The eyes stared wildly at him as its body twitched when it tried unsuccessfully to get further into the crevice. In rapt fascination, Tel'ar saw yellow hair for the first time in his life. He also noticed that the blood splattered around the face and neck was red and not green as his was, and although the alien's eyebrows were in almost the same area that his were, they were more rounded above the eye than an almost diagonal line.
"I won't hurt you," he murmured as he took a step closer, but hurried across the room to put a hand on its mouth in case the noise brought one of the crewmen back when it started screaming again and yelling things in a language Tel'ar couldn't understand. "Shh!" he whispered as he held a couple of fingers in front of his mouth, then pointed to the doors before telling it to shush again.
The alien must have understood as it went quiet and glanced at the door before looking back at him, even though the poor thing was still quivering in fear. At the same time as he noticed that the blood was still trickling from its nose and mouth, and from somewhere on the side of its neck, Tel'ar realised with surprise that the bone structure of its face seemed to look similar to the females of his own race. It... she must be a female, he thought to himself, though he couldn't really be sure with the sheet it now wore and her arms clutched close to her body.
With curiosity getting the better of him, he couldn't help reaching out and touching the yellow hair that hung in curls around her shoulders and down her back, even though she turned her head away from him and tried to push his hand away. The gesture inadvertently brought one of her small, rounded ears into view. Absolutely fascinated, he ignored her protests and touched the smooth rounded edge, that were so unlike his own slightly pointed one. He then felt the skin and blood on her face and looked at it closely as the red blotch dried on his finger. "She seems to have the same texture as our own hair and blood," he murmured to himself, then said aloud to her, "But, I've been told to clean you up. I'll do it for your sake, but not because he told me to, all right?"
When all he got was a blank expression, he also realised that she couldn't understand him either. "I can see you're going to be good company," he muttered sarcastically.
He stood up and reached for a nearby metal bowl that sat on the work bench, pushed it into a square hollow in the opposite wall, then pressed one of the three buttons on the panel above it to let warm water fill it almost to the brim. He then picked a couple of cloths from wrack, dropped one into the bowl and started to walk back towards the alien. he didn't get very far before she was up on her feet and dodging round the other side of the centre table to get out of his way, babbling something at him that sounded threatening, but totally incomprehensible.
"I guess you don't like having a wash," he said to her with distaste and put both bowl and cloths on the table when her tirade ended with an angry hand gesture. "And I guess that wasn't very polite"
He breathed deeply to calm himself, folded his arms across his chest and turned his back on her as he walked towards the window to look at the unfamiliar planet and work out what he was going to do next. Although he knew it wasn't very good judgement to turn one's back on one's enemies, Tel'ar knew she was there and that he would hear her slightest movement if she suddenly decided to creep up and attack him from behind.
As expected, he heard her trying to search quietly around the workbench and drawers, then mumble something before he heard the tap of metal as it tapped against another metal object. He turned his head towards her and raised his eyebrows in enquiry. "Are you going to throw it or save it to help us both try and get out of here?" Then after a pause, he murmured, "If only I could make you understand that I won't harm you, and that I'm now a prisoner here as well..."
The long knife hurtled through the air in his direction, but missed and hit the window before clattering to the floor at his feet, and to the alien's obvious horror, Tel'ar hadn't even flinched.
The moment's silence that fell on the room as they both carried on staring at each other seemed to go on for an eternity. But just as Tel'ar debated on the uselessness of saying something else to her, the ship suddenly jolted and lurched as an explosion seared through its hull.
The alien screamed as she fell, then huddled up to the wall in self-preservation. Tel'ar only just managed to keep his balance by grabbing hold of a rack of shelves next to the window. In disbelief, he gasped as fragments of a meteor shower sped passed the ship and burned up in the planet's atmosphere far below.

"Someone move the ship" he pleaded, wondering why the crew hadn't got the sense to move themselves out of the way.
As the T'Prynne continued to jolt and be bombarded with meteor fragments, Tel'ar staggered across to the door, pressed the lock on the wall to open them, them tried to get his fingers into the middle of the glass again when they didn't open. "Let us out!" he yelled as he banged his fists on the glass, but it was obvious that no one was going to come and help them.
He suddenly remembered that all ships had escape hatches and turned to scan the walls for the possibility of finding one. On seeing two metal handles on either side of a raised pad near to the floor, he hurried across the room and was just about to pull the door away from the wall when the voice of the computer announced, "Hull breach on Control Deck. Automated Stasis Field is now holding." Then a moment later, "Life Support depletion on deck two."
Tel'ar quickly grabbed two mobile breathing apparatus masks from the hooks on the wall and tossed one to the alien. "There's a breach in the system. You can obviously breath the same air as we do, so you should be able to use it," he commented, knowing that she couldn't understand him, but feeling the need to talk as he gestured for her to put on the mask and follow him.
On the other side of the hatch lay a wall of heat and steam that hissed as it escaped through a ruptured pipe somewhere nearby, and Tel'ar liturally had to drag the reluctant female through the gap and manoeuvre her along the corridor.
Yet another fragment hit the hull, sending a shudder through the ship that sent them both falling into a heap on the floor and part of the ceiling crashing down almost on top of them. Neither of them needed any convincing of how near they were to being blown to pieces as they scrambled to their feet and dodged falling debris.
"Hull breach in the Engine Room. Automated Stasis Feild is not holding," announced the infuritatingly calm voice of the computer.
Although she despised the pointed eared thing that was running alongside her, the female alien knew that he might be her only hope of survival. So, she kept hold of his arm and followed whatever he did.
They soon reached the Control Deck and scrambled up the metal ladder to find the deck completely clear of steam. To their horror, it was also clear of any personnel, and had a gaping, jagged hole where the windows should have been. The only thing stopping them being sucked out into the abyss of space was the irregular white flash of the stasis field across the nose of the ship.
In shock, the female stayed where she was for a moment, but Tel'ar went immediately to the control console only to find that the navigation system was out. "No, please, no!" Even though he knew the Engine Room had no one to keep the engines working properly, he wasn't ready to give up and crouched on the floor, and pulled a panel away from under the console to see if he could discover what was wrong. It didn't take a genius to see what had happened. On such an old ship, it wasn't surprising that the whole relay hadn't burnt out years ago.
With a huff of annoyance, he slammed the panel cover onto the floor, hurriedly got up and quickly began pressing various panels to try and get some movement out of the old wreck. Impatiently, he had to pull off the breathing apparatus due to lack of air in the cansiter. But after a few breaths, he quickly realised that the air on the Control Deck was already quite thin, and knew instantly that it wouldn't be long before it ran out altogether.
When another direct hit sent an explosion of sparks shooting from the shielding console, the female pulled off her own mask, hurried to his side and tried to make him understand that she wanted to help by pointing from herself to the consoles.
"Just stay out of the way," said Tel'ar firmly whilst shaking his head and manoeuvring her towards the back of the deck, where he left her gasping for breath as she crouched beside a jutting out wall panel. "It's likely to explode, so stay here." You can't go anywhere really, he thought miserably as he hurried back to the console, you're going to get blown into millions of fragments the same as me.
But as he glanced at the stasis field, his jaw dropped when he saw a huge piece of meteor tumbling straight towards them. In desperation, he dived towards the console and almost pleaded encouragement as they flashed a couple of times in their reluctance to come back on. "Come back on... Please... Just give me enouch power to get us out of the way!"
The very second it came alight, he slammed the heel on his hand onto the panel and prayed. The thrusters started up and the ship slowly began to move to one side. All the time he kept his eyes fixed on the rock as it hurtled nearer and nearer, and tried to will it to slow down.
As soon as Tel'ar thought they were clear, he frantically pressed the panels to send them into light speed, but his timing was out by just a few seconds. The meteor scraped against the stern of the ship, sending them into a spinning, tumbling ball of light as the engines went to full speed across the star system. The overhead lights and consoles flickered and time seemed to slow down and make them take the full for ce of the shuddering trail of disaster. With gravity gluing him into the crevice made between the floor and the underside of the console, Tel'ar just shut his eyes, tried not to vomit and hoped they would survive long enough to put the ship down on the first planet they came to that contained life.
After what seemed like an eternity, the ship suddenly came to a halt, the lights went out and the engines fell eerily silent. Wondering if it was a little premature to chant meditative prayers for the well-being of space travellers, in total darkness, Tel'ar slowly got to his knees and looked around to try and get his bearings again.
On hearing no sound coming from the alien, he began to crawl towards her on his knees to make sure she was all right. But before he even reached her, he realised how cold the deck was getting, and that he was gasping for breath and could hardly drag himself any further. Life support! he thought in panic. The life support has failed as well.
She'll have to manage on her own if she's still alive, he decided logically, I've got to get life support back on. But in total darkness, with the freezing tempuratures of space seeping into the ship, whatever Tel'ar tried, no lights or life support came back on. The stasis is working, so why can't I get anything else to function? he wondered desperately.
Eventually, the air got so thin that he collapsed on the floor and lay on his back, staring dreamily up at the stars through the stasis field as he began falling into freezing unconsciousness. As he tried desperately to cling to life, the last thing Tel'ar saw was an expanding spiral of space dust and energy that opened up like a funnel as its gravity pulled the ship towards its centre.
A wormhole! he thought as his eyes finally closed.


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Mrs. Vulcan
Lieutenant


Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 174
Location: South Yorkshire England

PostThu Jan 05, 2006 6:21 pm    

TIMESCAPE: Part Three

"We have a third ship on an intercept course!" called Ensign Harry Kim from his Ops. Console at the back of the Bride.
At the same time as Lieutenant Tom Paris checked his readouts, then navigated an evasive course out of the way, Captain Kathryn Janeway pressed the Comm system on the side of her chair and almost shouted, "B'Lanna, we need those phasers back on-line, now!"
"We're almost there," came the frantic reply from Engineering.
"The lead ship is firing again!" said Kim.
Janeway clutched hold of her chair. "All decks, brace for impact!"
As the Federation Starship sped through the Delta Quadrant, another hit from one of the persuing ships jolted the USS Voyager and her crew.
"Shields are now at seventy percent," announced the Vulcan Security Officer, Lieutenant Tuvok from his Tactical station as everyone held on to whatever console they were working at so as not to be thrown across the Bridge.
"Casualty reports coming in," reported Tuvok a moment later.
"B'Lanna? Where are those phasers?"
"Phasers are back on-line, Captian," came a relieved call from the Chief of Engineering, B'Lanna Torres.
"Fire!"
A volley of phaser fire hit both ships, but didn't even manage to slow them down.
"We might have to use the torpedoes," suggestion Commander Chakotay reluctantly. "We don't seem to have any other choice," he reasoned when the Captain turned and looked at him and he was unable to decide what the expression on her face meant.
Janeway had already decided the same thing just a moment before, and immediately ordered Tuvok to ready the torpedoes.
"Torpedoes ready, and we are in range, Captain," said the dark-skinned Vulcan as calmly as if he were just announcing dinner and not a life or death situation.
Janeway nodded and almost growled, "Fire!"
In the few seconds pause as the bright lights of the torpedoes left the ship and hurtled towards their targets, everyone waited with bated breath in the hope that they would stop the attacking Delta Quadrant species. The Captain felt that it was like being hunted down by the Vidiians again, only this time the pursuers hadn't even introduced themselves, just their demands... body parts. But to be hunted down and captured, to then be torn to shreds just wasn't an option, and Janeway knew that she would do anything to protect her crew from such a fate. She even harboured the thoughts that she would blow Voyager up along with their attackers if it came to the crunch. She just hoped that she could get the crew to safety first.
Two eye-blinding explosions flashed across the main view screen on the torpdeos initial impact, followed by more explosions as the alien ship's weapons and plasma were ignited.
"A direct hit, Captain. Both ships disabled and destroyed," announced Tuvok unnecessarily.
"Is the third ship still on an intercept course?" called Chakotay as he turned in his chair and looked at Kim.
"No Commander, they're at a stop," he answered confidently. "But..." Kim paused as he scanned through screens of information on his panel. "Captain, there's an expanding, eliptical spatial anomaly opening up... straight ahead."
"Bring us out of warp, Tom, and put it on screen," ordered Janeway as both she and Chakotay stood and moved forward slightly to stand behind Paris. Then after a pause, "Full scan, Harry, and magnify."
In between panels being scanned and the readings being collated and discussed, everyone watched in curiosity as the elongated, rapidly rotating mass of blue-tinted matter grew wider and blocked out multitudes of star systems behind it.
"Captian, may I suggest moving Voyager to a safe distance," suggested Tuvok as the swirls continued to expand. "Until we can ascertain whether it is a threat."
"Do it, Tom," ordered the Captain after a nod of acknowledgement in Tuvok's direction, then looked back at the screen.
Into the moments silence came an amused, incredulous snort from Kim. Chakotay turned round, wondering what the Ensign had found so amusing.
"It-it's a wormhole!"
Captain Kathryn Janeway imagined that she could just guess everyone's train of thought at that precise moment. 'Delta Quadrant, plus Wormhole, equals Alpha Quadrant, equals Home.' And for the first time in months, she let herselt begin to hope that they had found a way.
But... "Tuvok, send in a probe. I want as much information as we can get, as soon as possible."
"Probe launched, Captain," said Tuvok almost immeditely, making her wonder if he had already prepared it beforehand.
Chakotay, now getting used to the Captain's reactions to different situations, chuckled as he watched he try and keep her excitement under check in front of the Bridge crew. "It looks like I might get another swim in the Gulf Of Mexico, after all," he said hopefully.
Kathryn smiled at him and murmured. "Name the day, and I'll come and join you."
"Captain... there's a ship coming through the anomaly," came Kim's stunned observation. "The emerged has sustained heavy damage. There's also a hull breach and life support is off-line throughout the ship."
"Life signs?" demanded the Captain.
"Three... faint, but they're alive." Then in absolute disbelief, Kim looked up as he announced... "One human and two Ralayans! It's from the Alpha Quadrant!"
"Does it have a Federation signature?" asked the Captain as she almost frog-marched across the Bridge to look at the data herself.
"No."
But the spark of hope was soon dashed.
"Curious..." observed Tuvok as he scanned his panel and then systematically rechecked his readings. "There is also a temporal anomaly dissipating away from the ship. Captain, I would advise caution, I believe the ship has not only travelled from the other side of the Galaxy, but also through time. At this moment, it would not be wise to get too near the wormhole without intense study."
Ensign Kim wasn't the only one who sighed in dismay and swallowed a distraught lump in his throat on realising that Tuvok was right that they couldn't possibly go through the wormhole in case they ended up in the wrong time, even if it might be the right Quadrant. They had been in this situation before and it was heartbreaking.
Pushing her disapointment to one side to deal with later, but wondering what had happened in the Alpha Quadrant to bring the small ship across the Galaxy in such a state, Janeway hurried to Tuvok's console and looked at his readings.
"Tom, as soon as the ship has cleared the gravitational field, head in at one quarter impulse," she ordered. "I want that ship checked for contaminants immediately, then we can beam the survivors straight to Sick Bay. If the ship's clear, tractor it into the Shuttle Bay until we can find a way to send them back."
"Aye Captain," answered Paris after a moment's hesitation.
"Tuvok, take a Security team down to Sick Bay in case they're awake. If they've been in a combat situation, who knows how they'll react."
Alarmed at the decision to send the survivors back into such a situation, Chakotay hurried to her side and whispered so that only Tuvok heard what was being said. "With the damage already inflicted on their ship, do you think it wise to send them back into whatever sent them here? There might be a whole fleet waiting for them to go back through."
Janeway shook her head and answered him in lowered tones herself. "Chakotay, don't you think that we've altered events and the time-line of the Delta Quadrant enough without leaving three more variables to muddy the pond? We have enough people to take care of and get back home to the Alpha Quadrant in the same time-line, never mind adding to the crew with beings from who-knows-when!"
"I concur, Captain," said Tuvok.
"But what if they're supposed to come through?"
Kathryn leaned her elbow on Tuvok's console and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "It's one of those damn temporal loops, isn't it? I swore after last time that I'd never get into one again, and yet here we are... yet again." She sighed and shook her head in exasperation, but before she could say any more, or Chakotay and Tuvok could answer, Kim's warning carried across the Bridge.
"The alien ship is on an intercept course for the emerged ship, Captain."
"Are we in transporter range? Can we bring the survivors aboard?"
"No."
"Tom alter our course to intercept that ship! And beam the survivors onboard the second we're in range."
"Yes Ma'am."
"Red Alert!" warned Chakotay.
Janeway then walked forward, leaned on the rail that separated the two deck levels of the Bridge and waited with grim determination. She didn't care what time the ship had come from at the moment, but she was determined that whilst she stood on the Bridge as Captain, the Delta Quadrant aliens weren't getting even one strand of hair from anyone. And this time she wasn't even giving them the chance to shoot first. She gave the order that the moment Voyager was within range, the alien ship was to be fired upon without any warning, hesitation or further orders being given.

*
Depleted of another torpedo, yet one less alien harvester to worry about, the crew of Voyager headed back to the location of the now empty ship and wormhole. But even with the main screen magnified, it was obvious to the naked eye that the rotating spirals of its outer rim were quickly depleting as its centre funnel got smaller and narrower.

The Captain pressed her Comm. badge. "Janeway to Sick Bay. Doctor, do you have them?"
"Yes, Captain."
Realising that the medical staff still needed to be left to do their job, she announced, "I'll join you shortly... Janeway out. Can we get our probe back," she then asked Kim hurriedly, not wanting to lose any more pieces of hardware that couldn't easily be replaced.
"Already on its way, Captain," confirmed the Ensign.
"B'Lanna, is the Ship in the Shuttle Bay, yet?"
"It's just about to come through the Bay doors, Captain," sent back the half-Klingon engineer.
"I want all crew manifests, logs or personnal journals down-loaded as soon as possible."
"We'are on it, Captain."
"Tuvok, you're with me," said Janeway as she headed for the Turbo Lift. You have the Bridge, Commander, and if anyone needs me, I'll be in Sick Bay visiting our time travellers."


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Seven of Nine
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PostFri Jan 06, 2006 7:14 am    

I love the story... you've got an interesting beginning, but it's slightly hard to read. Do you mind putting a few more spaces in there? Apart from that, great beginning!

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Mrs. Vulcan
Lieutenant


Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 174
Location: South Yorkshire England

PostFri Jan 06, 2006 10:21 am    

Thank you for the review. I'll definitely use your suggestion regarding the spaces. I think that because I'm familiar with the story, it seemed to run ok and I never thought about how much of a chunk it all looked.

I have also noticed a little something I want to change in Part Four, but it's my son's 18th Birthday today and will be partying tonight.

I'll be posting again tomorrow.


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