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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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 Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:12 am |
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Our meat may be diseased but at least we don't sell... scraple... *shudders*
(Scraple is something they tried to sell me in New Jersey. Doesn't exist in Canada. It's pretty much all the leftovers of the pig such as the snout, feet, tail and anything else found on the floor; it's fried up and served hot  )
So, anyways. I go to my front door to find my boot. Dey were not der. So I got up da stay-ers and trew da hall to my bed-room. I h-open da closet door... and der dey were... Gone!
(This is how a French-Canadian, who is a francophone, messes up their tenses in speaking English.... I can do it really well in RL )
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding aniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there'd better be something in the driveway for me that goes 0-200 in 2 seconds flat!" The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.
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LightningBoy
Commodore
Joined: 09 Mar 2003
Posts: 1446
Location: Minnesota, U.S.A.
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| Wed Nov 30, 2005 1:07 pm |
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| Valathous wrote: | | LightningBoy wrote: | John Kerry walks into a bar, bartender says "Why the long face"!
Ha! |
lol, ouch.
I wonder if bartenders remove the complimentary snacks (ie peanuts, pretzels, etc) when Bush goes in? |
No, the bartender puts more pretzels out, he's a Democrat.
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LightningBoy
Commodore
Joined: 09 Mar 2003
Posts: 1446
Location: Minnesota, U.S.A.
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| Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:46 pm |
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Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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Valathous
The Canadian, eh
Joined: 31 Aug 2002
Posts: 19074
Location: Centre Bell
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| Wed Nov 30, 2005 5:28 pm |
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Things you learn from Children
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-sq. ft. house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. (No matter how old the child!)
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
First grade... true story:
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid
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Cathexis
The Angel of Avalon
Joined: 26 Dec 2001
Posts: 5901
Location: ~~ Where Dreams Have No End�
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| Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:01 pm |
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| Valathous wrote: | Our meat may be diseased but at least we don't sell... scraple... *shudders*
(Scraple is something they tried to sell me in New Jersey. Doesn't exist in Canada. It's pretty much all the leftovers of the pig such as the snout, feet, tail and anything else found on the floor; it's fried up and served hot )
So, anyways. I go to my front door to find my boot. Dey were not der. So I got up da stay-ers and trew da hall to my bed-room. I h-open da closet door... and der dey were... Gone!
(This is how a French-Canadian, who is a francophone, messes up their tenses in speaking English.... I can do it really well in RL )
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding aniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there'd better be something in the driveway for me that goes 0-200 in 2 seconds flat!" The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday. |
AHAHAHAHAH, some francophone, eh!
LOL, LB!!!! 
Top 50 Oxymorons
Act Naturally
Found Missing
Resident Alien
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Airline food
Good grief
Same difference
almost exactly
Government Organization
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Legally Drunk
Silent Scream
American history
Living dead
Small Crowd
Business Ethics
Soft Rock
Butthead
Military Intelligence
Software Documentation
New York Culture
New Classic
Sweet Sorrow
Child Proof
"Now, then"
Synthetic Natural Gas
Passive Aggression
Taped Live
Clearly Misunderstood
Peace Force
Extinct Life
Temporary Tax Increase
Computer Jock
Plastic glasses
Terribly Pleased
Political Science
Computer Security
Tight slacks
Definite Maybe
Pretty Ugly
Twelve-ounce Pound Cake
Diet Ice Cream
Constructive Criticism
Rap Music
Working Vacation
Exact Estimate
Religious Tolerance
Microsoft Works
Actual Headlines
On hair dryer instructions... Do not use while sleeping
On a bag of Fritos... No purchase necessary, details inside
On a bar of Dial soap... Directions, use like regular soap
Frozen dinner... Serving suggestion, defrost
On hotel provided shower cap Fits one head
On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert... Do not turn upside down. (printed on the bottom of the box)
On Marks and Spencer bread pudding... will be hot after heating
On a Rowenta iron... do not iron with clothes on body
On Boot's children's cough medicine... do not drive car or operate heavy machinery
On Nytol... Will cause drowsiness
On a Korean kitchen knife... Warning, keep out of children
On a string of Chinesee made Christmas lights For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanesee Food Processor... Do not use for the other use
On a pack of Sainsbury nuts... Warning, contains nuts
On a Swedish chain saw... Warning, do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands.
You Drink Too Much Coffee When... (something Janeway should've read)
You know you are addicted to coffee if
-You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
-You sleep with your eyes open.
-You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
-The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
-You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
-You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
-Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
-You chew on other people's fingernails.
-The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
-You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their
margaritas.
-You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
-You can jump-start your car without cables.
-You don't sweat, you percolate.
-You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
-You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
-You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
-People get dizzy just watching you.
-Instant coffee takes too long.
-You channel surf faster without a remote.
-You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
-You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
-You short out motion detectors.
-You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
-Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
-You help your dog chase its tail.
-You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
-Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
-You ski uphill.
-You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
-You answer the door before people knock.
-You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
Funny Quotes:
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul Beatty
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Joey Adams
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H. L. Mencken
Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties.
George Clooney
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.
Dave Letterman
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
P. J. ORourke
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
Ronald Reagan
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
J. Paul Getty
A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'
Lord Barnett
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
Molly McGee
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney
In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Unknown
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henry Youngman
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
Rita Rudner
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Jean Kerr
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
Tim Allen
Legal Laughs
The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide..
1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child? <
2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
3. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?
4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
6. Were you alone or by yourself?
7. How long have you been a French Canadian?
8. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?
13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
14. So you were gone until you returned?
15. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?
16. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:41 pm |
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| Quote: | Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher. |
Last edited by IntrepidIsMe on Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Republican_Man
STV's Premier Conservative
Joined: 26 Mar 2004
Posts: 14823
Location: Classified
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:43 pm |
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That's not even in the LEAST bit funny. Forgive me, but it's the biggest load of crap I've read all day. Really. NONE of it is even remotely true and it's FAR from funny.
-------signature-------
"Rights are only as good as the willingness of some to exercise responsibility for those rights- Fmr. Colorado Senate Pres. John Andrews
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:47 pm |
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Well, don't worry. You don't have to laugh,
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Puck
The Texan
Joined: 05 Jan 2004
Posts: 5596
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:48 pm |
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| IntrepidIsMe wrote: | Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher. |
I am soooooo posting those in my myspace .
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Republican_Man
STV's Premier Conservative
Joined: 26 Mar 2004
Posts: 14823
Location: Classified
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:55 pm |
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I am incredibly infended by those jokes. Biggest load of crap I've heard in a while. Even moreso than the Democrats on Iraq. NONE of it is even remotely true, for God sake. It may be for, like, .05% of Republicans--if that--but that's it. I might as well post my horribly written poem from two years ago, "How to make a liberal idiot, like Ted Kennedy, angry." Maybe you'd find THAT funny. It's not something I would post anymore. That was during my radical days, when I hadn't had an open mind and simply took everything that someone like Rush said to heart, when I was just getting into politics. Then, I started debating, researching myself, listening to other people, and forming my own opinions.
You know what? I think I might post it. And if you guys don't laugh, then that'll be a double standard.
No, I don't anymore. But you would, judging from this.
-------signature-------
"Rights are only as good as the willingness of some to exercise responsibility for those rights- Fmr. Colorado Senate Pres. John Andrews
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IntrepidIsMe
Pimp Handed
Joined: 14 Jun 2002
Posts: 13057
Location: New York
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:58 pm |
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Well, if you think it's funny... it is a joke thread. Besides, I didn't create the list. Whatever floats your boat!
-------signature-------
"Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
-Wuthering Heights
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:02 pm |
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Not everyone finds the same things funny. If you don't like it, don't comment. That easy.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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Cathexis
The Angel of Avalon
Joined: 26 Dec 2001
Posts: 5901
Location: ~~ Where Dreams Have No End�
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:10 pm |
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| Republican_Man wrote: | | That's not even in the LEAST bit funny. Forgive me, but it's the biggest load of crap I've read all day. Really. NONE of it is even remotely true and it's FAR from funny. |
Look, people make jokes all the time about Democrats and Republicans..I think you're taking them WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too seriously, RM.
I didn't create them either. I just found them from all over and thought that people would think some or all of them are funny. I'd post the links, but I found these ALL OVER......so....I mean, I can post the links from now on, if that'll make things easier...
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Starbuck
faster...
Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Posts: 8715
Location: between chaos and melody
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:13 pm |
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Dude, I laugh my ass off at liberal bashing jokes, because they're funny. You should DEFINATLY just see it for what it is ....... a joke.
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:14 pm |
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| Cathexis wrote: | | Republican_Man wrote: | | That's not even in the LEAST bit funny. Forgive me, but it's the biggest load of crap I've read all day. Really. NONE of it is even remotely true and it's FAR from funny. |
Look, people make jokes all the time about Democrats and Republicans..I think you're taking them WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too seriously, RM.
I didn't create them either. I just found them from all over and thought that people would think some or all of them are funny. I'd post the links, but I found these ALL OVER......so....I mean, I can post the links from now on, if that'll make things easier... |
Yeah, this has been addressed. And moving on?
You, too, Kitey.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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Republican_Man
STV's Premier Conservative
Joined: 26 Mar 2004
Posts: 14823
Location: Classified
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:16 pm |
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No, I don't find this funny anymore, actually. But because you posted an entirely offensive joke that is absolutely baseless and so off that it makes it illogical, and not a kind of illogical joke that's really worth being a joke or even funny, I'm posting it. It's a poem, but it was meant more as a joke poem than anything else when I wrote it, so it fits well enough, I think.
How to make Liberal Fanatics, like Ted Kennedy, Angry
On the forum they stand,
Around the Neighborhood they stand,
In the City they stand,
In Congress they stand.
Far left Liberals--extremely mad, they get.
And getting a Liberal angry is like watching a Lord of the Rings battle--
It's SO exciting!
There are many, many rules to this fun objective.
All you have to do is the following:
Tell the Truth, they don't want it spoken.
Try not to Spin--it's all they do
Tell him to "Stop degrading your neighbor"--
He'll tell you to sit back down,
Or rather, he'll yell at you to sit down.
Disagree with his views--
Don't worry about speaking out.
Do what is good for the Country--that's something they can't do.
Fight Terrorism--what did the Democrats do?
Try to protect the nation from a possible threat--
That always gets them mad.
Save a country from a Ruthless Dictator--
The might as well say that they want one.
Discuss religion--
You just can't do that!
Lower Taxes--we just can't have them!
Protect the American People--
That's the least Kerry can say.
Let Democrats write bills in Congress,
They'll never be satisfied.
Find stable positions,
Don't flip-flop like fools.
Proclaim good news for America--
Who likes good news?
Crack down on Illegal Immigration
Oh wait, then you're a racist!
Disagree with Germany and France--
Since when do they run us?
Be upset at bad news--
Even though it's a good thing, they say.
The results will follow, and they will be angry:
"Just shut up," they'll say,
"Don't get me mad"--
You will.
Come to think of it, I do find a little bit of it still funny. It's actually truthful, in some parts, which makes it funny in some parts. Some of it is in reference to the news of the day, what the Democrats were doing then, and I found it funny, and that's why I made the poem. Now, it's not so much. Some of it is, but some of it shows how extreme I was back then. Either way, maybe somebody, like you, might find it funny. I doubt you will, but maybe.
Again, I say, I wrote this two years ago, and I don't believe most of it anymore. Just to clarify, but nonetheless...
-------signature-------
"Rights are only as good as the willingness of some to exercise responsibility for those rights- Fmr. Colorado Senate Pres. John Andrews
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:20 pm |
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| RM wrote: | No, I don't find this funny anymore, actually. But because you posted an entirely offensive joke that is absolutely baseless and so off that it makes it illogical, and not a kind of illogical joke that's really worth being a joke or even funny, I'm posting it. It's a poem, but it was meant more as a joke poem than anything else when I wrote it, so it fits well enough, I think.
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So, since I made myself crystal clear, you can consider this a mod warning, RM.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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Cathexis
The Angel of Avalon
Joined: 26 Dec 2001
Posts: 5901
Location: ~~ Where Dreams Have No End�
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| Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:27 pm |
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 T, got it!
Sooo....I'm gonna see about some new jokes....
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Theresa
Lux Mihi Deus
Joined: 17 Jun 2001
Posts: 27256
Location: United States of America
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| Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:17 pm |
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What happens when you give a politician viagra?
He gets taller.
-------signature-------
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with our scars
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