Diary of a Teenage Vampire (rated C for caution!)

[madlilnerd]

WARNING- this piece of writing may not be suitable for children. It's about vampires and werewolves, and at times it can get rather gory and graphic. If you are not a fan of this sort of thing, then don't read it and then come crying to be that you have nightmares where a truant officer gets eaten infront of you.

Background info
This story is written in Diary style and is on going, I will try and add a new section every week. Bits of it are completely and utterly fictional, but bits have been copied from my own diary (I'll leave you to work out which is which). The main character is Evelyn, a 15 year old vampire/werewolf crossbreed. Her mother comes from a long line of vampires which was established hundreds of years ago in Prague, and her father is a surfer who got bit by a werewolf. Her best friend's real name is Olivia, but she calls her Bert (for a long and complicated reason I won't go into now)

Enjoy!


30th December 2004
Full moon. Bad news. I will not be able to stand tonight without Dad. The turn just won�t be the same without him. I�ve been thinking about taking the wolf�s bane� you know, just this once, because I know the turn will be bad this time. I don�t know where to get it though. Mum told me not to bother, and that she�d lock me in the attic if I wanted. I don�t know. Wolf�s bane can really mess you up, and I don�t want to waste the last few days of my Christmas holidays rolling around howling.

31st December 2004
I woke up today in a ditch ten miles from home, half clothed and smelling like I�d slept in a pig pen. Luckily, I hadn�t lost my mobile so I got a lift home from mum. By the time I�d gotten home, taken a bath, attended to any wounds I�d picked up in the night and dressed, it was already 14.45. I was sick a few times, like I usually am after a bad change. Spent the rest of the day in the garden, rolling around in what was left of the dirty, polluted snow, and then went inside and fell asleep before it was even 21.00. What a way to waste the last day of 2004, cold, damp and reeking of wet dog.

14th January 2005
Whoever invented school has a lot to pay for. If mum wasn�t so afraid of government officials coming round, I�d get taught at home. School is a nightmare. First, there�s the uniform. Whoever thought that one up deserves to be skinned alive. Grey skirt, that rubs, off white shirt, that�s so see through that you might as well not wear it, and a hideous black blazer that�s two sizes too big, weighs a ton and makes every pupil looks like a shapeless block of meat. Urgh.
Luckily, my English teacher�s got tapeworm and is off school so, no essays to hand in for me. Apparently, the moody cow caught it from her dog, Glitzy. Yet another reason why I�m not too fond of dogs (as if I needed one).
The only perk of school was that I got to see Bert and Adam. Bert�s grown her hair and dyed it blonde with pink tips. She�s found that you can tuck it into a bun and no one sees the pink, which is why she hasn�t been suspended yet. Me? I haven�t been suspended yet because Emma�s terrified of me. She saw what I did to her guinea pigs, but of course, she couldn�t prove a thing to the police. Dumb cow. Adam was all over me after school like he�d never kissed a girl in his life. Being away from females for more than three days gives him the shakes, it�s quite amusing to watch. Tomorrow, me and Bert are heading to the natural history museum in London, they�ve got a new display on bats I want to check out.


25th January 2005
French today was dire. Someone should really bite Mr Bradford and put him out of his misery. I was so bored that I yawned enormously and this huge puddle of drool gushed out of my mouth and formed a new lake on the desk�s landscape. Before anyone noticed, I wiped it up with my blazer sleeve. I think that�s what these awful things are for really.
Emma (the complete and utter bimbo) has been skipping round boasting about her belly button piercing. Big deal, my dad�s got more eyebrow piercings than eyebrow on the left side, and there�s definitely more metal than ear. Belly button piercings are for chavs and idiots. I hope it gets infected and they have to amputate her torso.
Dad came back from Alaska today. He said it was horrible in the lodge out there, it reeked of dead caribou, and he found a cougar�s head in the chest freezer. Brought back some good photos of the wolves they have out there though, real beautiful, and he got a good deal selling them to a wildlife magazine, so all is good at the moment. Mother is much happier now he�s back, and she�s finally got round to finishing the ball gown for the cow down the road, which is lucky, because the cow was threatening not to pay, and mum needs that cash. She�s thinking of buying me a cat.

7th February 2005
I got a cat today! Her name is Treacle and she�s got big amber eyes and fur the colour of� treacle. She�s already made herself at home, you know, clawing everywhere she shouldn�t and spreading fur all over the cream sofa. Dad�s a bit wary, he�s not to good with animals, but he can hardly dump her out the street.

8th February 2005
Treacle woke mother up today by dumping a large dead rat on her pillow. She found it quite amusing, until the thing sprang to life and Treacle continued to chase it about the house, knocking over everything. It took us three hours to gather up all the bits of broken flowerpots and plates. Bad cat.
Adam seems to like her, but Duchess is less than impressed with the diversion from herself. She keeps barking like mad and doing back flips. Treacle just sits and watches the mad bitch.


14th February 2005
Suspended. The cheek. Emma deserved it. She called me a freak because I beat her at the 400 metres and then threw a baton at my head. Back in the changing rooms, she took the pendant. I have to take it off for PE, school rules, but no one touches my pendant. That�s a family heirloom, been on my mother�s side since long before they emigrated from Prague to England, and it must be more than 300 years old. Plus, it�s made of ivory. So, I thought, she takes my most precious piece of jewellery, I�ll take hers. I reached forward and pulled out her pink belly button bar as hard as it could.
Well, guess what? It had got infected. I only know that because the splatter of fluid that presently erupted from her navel area smelt awful (from the pus). She screamed like a child in the dark and dropped my pendant, which of course I caught spectacularly and replaced around my neck, which is where it belongs.
Only, of course, the PE teacher didn�t see my point of view, which is terribly unfair. At least my mother is on my side.
No valentine�s card from Adam yet. How odd.

16th February 2005
My valentine�s card finally arrived. It was a hideous pink thing with a bear on the front, so twee I wanted to hurl. Inside were only three words, �Evelyn, Sorry, Adam�. I have no idea what that means, but I�ll be back at school tomorrow. I only wish Bert hadn�t gone to France for a week.

19th February 2005
Just my luck. I go back to school and everyone else takes time off. Adam�s not in school because he�s competing in Switzerland, and Bert�s still in Frog Land. Grr. The only one I�ve got left is Treacle.
Mum took me out last night for a meal. A proper meal, not animal blood. She�d found a guy who wanted to end his life quickly and painlessly, and we were only too happy to offer. If someone wants to die, there�s nothing wrong with helping them out a bit. Most of the doctors in euthanasia clinics are vampires, and I don�t see why not. Let them feast. We have the right to eat, just as everyone else, and it�s more moral to help someone else in the process. Better than ambushing the homeless. If they�re willing to die, then there�s no risk of even breaking a nail.

26th February 2005
So. The truth comes out. I cried so much. I�m so angry, I can hardly see. Angry at him, angry at myself for not paying enough attention. I�m going to get back at him, you�ll see. He�ll regret sleeping with Margaret Baxter. He�ll regret what he said about vampires and werewolves. He�ll sure as hell regret two timing me. I know how to hit him where it hurts, and I�m not talking about kneeing him in the groin (although, right now, that�s on my to do list). He�ll pay with blood. It�s not really a case of how, more a case of who. This will be fun.
Mum got shot tonight. Someone knew what she was and used a crossbow. It missed her heart by inches. I�m scared to even think of going outside now.

1st March 2005
Mum�s really unwell. I�m scared she�ll not make it, the state she�s in. It�s wrong, so, so wrong. She never hurt anyone in this town, after we moved here she turned over a new leaf and went on to animal blood. How did someone get hold of white bryony to tip their bolts? It�s so rare nowadays, and pretty hard to identify even when you do find some. There are two species of bryony, white and black. Black is fatal to humans, highly, highly poisonous to them if taken in anything but minute doses. White bryony, or Lady�s Seal, is again, poisonous to humans, but only if taken in large doses. In small doses, it cures all kinds of illness, including flu and malarial diseases. In vampires, however, it�s awful. You die slowly and incredibly painfully, much worse than a quick stake or decapitation. It�s both a diaphoretic and sudorific, so mother won�t stop sweating, and it�s a galactogogue, making her constantly lactate. Less than pleasant to say the least (vampire milk is a potently fetid mixture of milk and blood). On top of that, white bryony is also a rubefacient, a narcotic, an emetic and a spasmodic, bringing in mother a mixture of blistering skin, terrifying bouts of deep sleep, constant vomiting and muscle spasms.
Next time she falls asleep, I very much doubt she will wake. I like her better when she�s asleep anyway, she looks like she�s in less pain.

I want my mummy back.



2nd March 2005
I skipped school today. Couldn�t be bothered with all the crap I take in that place. Didn�t want to see Adam. He�s got a new dog to replace Duchess, which is pretty quick, even for him. I saw it when I passed his house on the way into town, to buy some supplies for the house. The TV was on, and I could hear the Red Faction over voice, so I know he was in anyway. I saw him watch me eyeing up his new puppy. It�s a pretty little thing, but I bet it won�t taste as nice as Duchess did. He deserved what he got, okay? Shouldn�t have two timed me. Shouldn�t have said what he said about my kind. I felt really bad after I killed the poor thing, but he should�ve known better.
The florists was almost completely deserted, which is how I like it. No annoying old ladies today, clogging up the till. The assistant threw together a pretty bouquet of white roses and those lilies they have at funerals, and I had enough left over for a single red rose. A nice little thank you present for Adam, you know, for the meal for one. I just have a bad streak, that�s all. No big deal.
Unfortunately, as I left the florists I bumped into my worst nightmare: the truant officer. She was all clipboard and bad glasses, not to mention the goddamn AWFUL hair. Then she started on the questions, you know, all �Why aren�t you at school young lady?�. Luckily, I had the note Dad gave me, telling anyone who wanted to know that my mother was dying. She scrunched up her beak as she read it cynically over her glasses, and the urge to hit her rose in the back of my head. I wanted to sink my teeth into her neck so bad that an accumulation of drool built up in my mouth and a small dribble trickled out over my ruby lips. The truant officer must have found this either disconcerting, perplexing or disgusting, because she let me go as soon as she saw it. Good job she did, with a high-street that deserted, I would�ve eaten her there and then. I like to think of Government officials as comfort food.

The spring air felt good on my bare legs as I walked back home. Hastily, I scribbled �Thanks for the takeaway, Duchess, love Evelyn� on a card the florist had given me with the blood bloom, pinned it to it and left it on top of Duchess�s kennel. The new dog was curled up inside, sleeping, and Adam was still in front of the telly with his PS2, only he had tired of Red Faction and moved on to Mortal Kombat. I picked up a brick from the drive and gave it an experimental toss into the air, catching it again. One brick + one window + one sleazy teenage boy = one happy Evelyn. I resisted temptation. I�ve been a good girl today. Well, as good as anyone could ever expect me to be.

The smell that hit me when I opened my front door was enough to make me drop the flowers in protest. It was wretched, sort of like the smell of old blood (a sickly, iron, metallic aroma) and gone off milk. Mother was in bed, where I�d left her, but the sheets were now heavy with moisture. She�d been lactating heavily, hence the smell, and the bucket I�d left at her bedside was filled with the meagre contents of her stomach. I started to cry, a mixture of the smell making my eyes water, and odd pity for my dying mother. I decided to do the only thing I could think of and ran a lukewarm bath, to cool her fever, and ease her blisters, and to have somewhere to put her while I changed her bed and tried my best to purge the room of the sickness that would not be purged from her body.
Mother shook as I supported her on the her way to the bathroom, and tried to push me off, rasping that she could make her own way there, and then gripping onto me so hard she drew blood through my shirt. When we reached the bathroom, she slipped into the water, and only took off her nightdress when I pointed out that she was still wearing it. I left her there. This may seem a cruel thing to do, as she was only half conscious and kept slipping under the water, but vampires don�t drown. Lack of oxygen to humans is like sunlight to vampires. We don�t need oxygen, just like humans don�t need darkness (or sun cream, which is what we use nowadays), so it was perfectly all right to let her submerge.

When I got back to the bathroom she was gone. So I sat down, and began to write this.