Discipline and smacking kids?

magenta · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:30 am Discipline and smacking kids?**

I smack my kids,not with an object in my hand.But my open hand,kids today are disrespectful and have no manners.They speak to their parents with no respect and want everything,mobile phones,tv/stereo/DVD player,now.And do nothing to work or earn what they want.My kids have manners,respect adults and have no tvs or any other expensive toys in their bedrooms.They watch tv or go on the computer in the living room with the whole family.
I see nothing wrong with smacking.
The 'experts' say that smacking makes the kids think hitting is ok?
Why is it that the kids who recieve no disipline/smacking that resort to violence and striking out at their parents?
My kids and my 2 teenage step kids wouldnt dream of hitting my husband,me or anyone else.They have all been brought up with smacking as disipline.
My step son has just moved in with us,we get along great,he has manners,respect and knows all the rights from wrongs!
What do you guys/gals think?

Birdy · Socialist Joined: 20 Sep 2004 Posts: 13502 Location: Here.

I don't think it's good for kids, period.
You can teach them a LOT of stuff without hitting them. I think it's domestic violence. That's MY opinion.
If you look at some programs on tv, like 911 Nanny, you can see there are a LOT of other ways to teach your kids discipline, without hitting. If you hit them, you disrespect them as a person imo. You hurt them. Yeah, maybe you learn them some discipline, but I don't think it's the right way.

Captain Dappet · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:31 pm**

I don't think kids are good, period.

Sorry, won't post here again.

Sam Kenobi · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:47 pm**

My mom taught first grade for 10 years, then last year she taught third grade, and it's very obvious which are the kids who never got spanked. They're little brats who think they can have whatever they want and who think they can do whatever they want and get away with it. IMO, kids who were spanked for doing bad things end up being some of the best kids as they grow up. They learn discipline. And I was spanked as a kid when I did bad things, so my kids will be too.

PrankishSmart · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:00 pm**

There are other ways of discipline without resorting to physical violence. In my opinion, mothers who use physical violence as a form of discipline are blinded to the alternatives and in a locked mindset.

Bah, i'm not having kids anyway

PrankishSmart · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:03 pm**

Arellia · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:21 pm**

I wouldn't ever hit my children, should I ever have them. I'm not saying I wouldn't discipline them, but I would not hit them. I would rather teach lessons in more productive ways. I know enough well-behaved kids who were not spanked (including myself) that I see no real need for it.

Five - seveN · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:39 pm**

^ I agree. There's not really a point in smacking your kids, I think. I know a lot of kids who are not smacked, but have good manners anyway. It's just how you raise your children, whether you smack them or not.

Oliver · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:08 pm**

Smacking is allowed, not hitting.

I think it might be necessary in some extreme situations but smacking shouldn't be used to discipline your children. That should be done with reason.

lionhead · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:17 pm**

Smacking a child is a good teaching on a certain level. of course, its on a "Certain level" so it all depends on the parents.

But in my opinion you should be able too smack your child if it was being... rebellious, totally not listening, disrespectfull.
But not for crying or something... Hitting with the fist at full strength is a crime in my eyes, abuse. also hitting wih a belt or stick, those people should be put behind bars.

But then again, i don't think i would be a good parent at the moment, don't have the confidence.

Leo Wyatt · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:18 pm**

Spanking and beating are two different things. They are not the same. That is what is wrong with the world today. Parents let the kids take over and get by with murder in my opinion. I don't believe in beating... I don't believe in spanking as the first option but yes I do believe in it. I take away my kids tv privilages, toys, and they are not allowed to play with their friends. Last resort is a spanking..

My kids are not going to be spoiled little brats. They will behave and show people respect. I wished to God my parents gave me a spanking when I was growing up, maybe my life turned out better. I only got one spanking in my life but that didn't count cause my sister laughed when she did it and it didn't teach me anything. If she would have been serious, yeah it would have worked.

I am not saying beat the kids. That is a no no. I can't stand when I hear of parents beating kids. Smacking them in the face. That is wrong. Need to know the proper way of spanking in my opinion. Shouldn't smack in the face, arms, legs. Just the butt.

Time out, the government claims work HAHA what a joke. Seriously. Tried done that, did that.

Kids have to have discipline. It hurts the parents more in the heart when they have to give their child a spanking. My heart cries out but they have to learn they have to behave...

But, as I said, spanking is not my first option though. I also make them write me 10 sentences telling me and here is an example: I will behave

ten times each. If they keep misbehaving. It goes up to 20.

I know I am a little strict but it is cause I love my kids. I don't want them to be a spoiled brat like me. I definetly do not want them to turn out like me. God knows I constantly mess up in my life. I want them to get a good education and be a better person than I am.

Lord Borg · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:35 pm**

It all depends on the nature of the childs "crime". I know that some people deffinitly wernt spanked, or "smacked" what ever, and these are the types that are irrisponsible and immature. I knew of a whole "crowd" of these people. I on the other hand, was spanked a few times, for certain "crimes", which I never did again

IntrepidIsMe · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:35 pm**

I don't think you need to either smack or spank your children to teach them right from wrong.

Jeff Miller · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:50 pm**

Hell yea I'm for a good beating if my kids do something wrong I won't worry about their feelings I'll punish them if they like it or not. I got a good leather belt for the job.

Leo Wyatt · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:09 pm**

A belt? i never loose a belt and not to fond of it in my opinion. Just the hand on the butt. No where else... lol

Theresa · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:11 pm**

Can you say abuse, Jeff?

I'd swat my kids butt, but nothing more. I was spanked, and don't feel I was abused. If we get too PC, abuse can cover every word out of our mouths. I'd say it's more abusive screaming at your kids in public than swatting their well padded behinds with your hand.

Josi Rockholt · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:14 pm**

Really makes someone wonder whether they want kids,Jeff.

I agree with Deb and T. Spanking is alright,but not as a first choice. When I have kids, they will respect thier elders and behave. I would give them 3 warnings,take away some of thier favorite things, time outs and a few other things all before a spanking. If they still didn't listen,then they would get a spanking. That would be a last resort.

Jeff Miller · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:45 pm**

Theresa · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 7:39 pm**

TrekkieMage · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:21 pm**

Hitting should never be allowed. In my opinion, if a parent results to physical violence they probably don't have the tools to cope with their child. The only times (twice) my father ever came close to hitting me I was terrified. He has never actually hit me and I know he never will.

My parents have made respect and trust their way of teaching me and my sister. If we don't behave, we loose some of their trust. We loose responsibility.

I'm actually really amazingly lucky. Both of my parents were physically and emotionally abused by their parents, and somehow they learned what NOT to do to, and only in the past eight years or so they've started to deconstruct some of the damage.

Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent. I'm not really with it at the moment. o.O

Jeff Miller · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:29 pm**

webtaz99 · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:29 pm**

Pain is used as a behavior teaching reinforcement by every other mammalian species on Earth.

While most kids can be taught many things without painful reinforcement (and some never need it beyond a certain age), by the same token, most kids will need some corporeal punishment during their development.

Moderation is needed. Pain should not always be used nor always be avoided.

voy416 · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:18 pm**

One thing i have learned is that hitting a kid is not good but it really depends i mean hitting your kids for no reason is stupid or hitting your kid because they did not do something right is also stupid just like screaming at your kid is not good either. i know all of this personally, i mean my mother was the old school Puerto Rican type mothers, even young i knew what was right and wrong but parents should never go to far with the hitting period.

magenta · **Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:34 pm**

Smacking is an australian term for your "Spanking"!Just wanted to clear that up!I love my dad with all my heart,I fully respect him and still do not swear in front of him!
Me and my brother were 'smacked' as kids we do not have any 'emotional' issues about it at all.We have our own kids now.
I have used the 1,2,3 disipline for a while now and it works most of the time.You slowly count 1,2 and if they have not done as they are told or behaved by the 2 and you say 3.A smack must always follow!
If you dont follow through with the smack at three it becomes an empty threat and doesnt work.After 3 or 4 times of this the number 3 is hardly said again because they know what number 3 means!

Leo Wyatt · **Wed Aug 31, 2005 4:26 am**

Let me clear something up for you guys who think spanking is violence. No it is not. Beating is violence. Spanking and beating are two different things, I done said that so I won't repeat.

Spanking a kid on the butt is not wrong. If you take you hand or fist to the kids face , yes it is abuse. Or if you smack him/her on the arm and leg is abuse. Proper spanking on the butt.

People say all there are other ways. Do you have a bunch of kids of your own and are you an expert? I am no expert but I have kids. I have experience. The other ways show kids they can get by and let them rule the parent. That is not the way it goes. But all parents have different styles of discipline which it is really none of my business cause I am not raising anyone's else's kids except my two nieces and my kids.

I tried timeouts. It don't work on my kids. Taking away privilages or making them write sentences sometimes work, but most of the time it don't and they have to get a spanking for not minding and misbehaving, but I use spanking as a last resort. Timeout, making them sit down. Yeah tell that to my adhd kid

It does not work. Yes , I talk to them and explain what they did wrong. But, if you have kids that it goes through one ear and out the other, they not going to do the time outs.

David right now can not get on the computer, watch tv, and play with his friends, due to he is not wanting to do his class work in school. So far it is working. But it didn't work last week, he got a spanking. You have to know the proper way of spanking.

Never spank when angry. Explain and ask why they are getting a spanking. David and Anna will tell me why. And then they bend over and get a spanking. That helps to talk to the kids and explain why. Just don't do it in anger then it can get out of control...