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Omet'Ikilan
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Omet'Ikilan
Jem'hadar First


Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 2045
Location: Bridge of Jem'Hadar Ship

PostTue Jul 26, 2005 11:26 pm    Omet'Ikilan

Hey... I have to write this to get advice and possibly a little help....and I didnt know where else to put this topic...


Me and my mom just had one of many fights cause of my girlfriend and the fact that we were smoking weed and ended up getting caught...cause I was stupid and did it and came home...Ive been regretting the fact that I started doing it cause I hate what it does to me and Ive been raised that way...my father is a re-covering narcotics abuser...

Well for the past week me and my mom have had little bickerings about it...and Ive been arguing with her trying to let me keep seeing Shaundra (my girlfriend)...She doesnt believe that my girlfriend has or will quit for me...

My mom has a big problem with drugs...she doesnt want it in or around my family because of her own personal reasons...and I respect that...and I quit smoking pot because of it...

Ive told my mom that I will get monthly drug tests or whatever she wants to prove that Ive quit..that I havent touched it and wont...

At one point while fighting with my mom I decided that, to try to prove to her I was willing to get it out of mine and my girlfriends lives, I would tell my girlfriend who I am head over heels in love with...that if she does it anymore...Ill break up with her...saying that alone made me cry...and I mean Im not one to cry...

Shaundra told me she would quit for me if I wanted her to and I said yea I wanted her too...

So then my mom confined me to my house for a week...which was torment...like you know...in the middle of summer being grounded sucks...I was miserable...I tried not to show it but I was...for a week I sat around in my house bored and depressed cause I was worried that while I was at home my girlfriend might start smoking weed again...

So after a week I was allowed to go outside again untill my 11 o'clock curfue at night...which was awsome...so the first night I went out hung out with one of my best friends...came home on my curfue time and everything was fine...

The next day..I get a call from chris, gaered and caitlin some of my best friends...so I go and hang out with them...and Shaundra was with them so I hung out with her and them for that night...and again came home on curfue...and I told my mom that I was hanging out with Gaered, Caitlin and chris...I left the part about being with shaundra out...because I didnt want to risk stiring up an old argument...I was going to wait another week before I told my mom that I was hanging out with her still....

So the next day, I hung out with her again...and then yesterday I hung out with just chris for the day...and today...I hung out with shaundra again...but this time...I came home...with her for a minute to get something to eat and get a sweater for Shaundra cause she was cold...my mom asked who I was with...I said I was going to go see mike...wich was true because that was the plan...but I left the part out about being with shaundra...so as I walked out of my house...my mom looked out of the window and saw me with shaundra...she called me back in and we ended up getting into...the latest fight...she told me to come in and that I was grounded again...well...I have a temper...that can be pretty feirce at times...and I yelled at my mom...Shaundra sat there looking at me and my mom...

I told my mom that I was gonna hang out with my friends still...she called shaundra over to her and talked to her...she told her that she didnt want drugs around me and my family...and she asked if shaundra's mom knew about the whole pot smoking thing...she told my mom the truth and that her mom did know she does it occasionally...my moms asked if shaundra thought that this was right and shaundra said at least she didnt do it excesivly...which is true...my mom got right pissed off here because she TOLD THE TRUTH wich is what she's ALWAYS lecturing me about...so she told shaundra to go home...and then told me to go inside and shut the door and walked away...

I walked halfway down the driveway with her...still steaming pretty bad...I told her I had to go and talk to my mom...so I went back inside and told my mom she had no right to treat her like that...and we started arguing and...she ended uptelling me to post this here...Im still not sure why...she wanted me to tell you guys about this....so I did...

My mom's telling me that untill shaundra can go get help and stop she wont let me see her...but what my mom doesnt realize is that..My girlfriends parents do it...her brother and a group of her friends she's surrounded by the stuff and it'll be hard for her to stop... she doesnt seem to see that she might need someone ther for moral support...to try to keep her off pot...and she doesnt seem to realize how crushed I would be to loose someone this close to me...again...

anyways...I want to here what you guys think about this...what you think I should do...(if anyone wants any more info just pm me and Ill tell you)

I hope...that in me telling you guys this none of my friends on this site will think any less of me for succombing to drugs...


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nadia
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Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 8560
Location: Australia

PostWed Jul 27, 2005 12:57 am    

Well I hope no one thinks less of you after reading that.

It was good of you to stop when your mum told you to and you should be commended for that.
But when you were going off at you mum cause she shouldn't have talked to your g/f like that, you should remember to respect her and just remember that she is only saying that sort of stuff because she dosn't want what happened to her to happen to you and your g/f.
But the thing with your g/f's family doing it to, I guess there is nothing anyone can do about that except her and her family. But like you said, she was willing to stop doing it for you, so maybe with just a little encouragement(from you) she will stop


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Omet'Ikilan
Jem'hadar First


Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 2045
Location: Bridge of Jem'Hadar Ship

PostWed Jul 27, 2005 1:53 am    

yea...thanks...wow...I just had a LONG talk with my mom...we have some things sorted out...but there's more we have to go through...just had a mest up day today...

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nadia
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PostWed Jul 27, 2005 1:57 am    

Well I hope every thing works out well

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Omet'Ikilan
Jem'hadar First


Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 2045
Location: Bridge of Jem'Hadar Ship

PostWed Jul 27, 2005 2:01 am    

it should thanks...wow it was kinda hard to write that and know my friends would know about a BIG problem I had/have....

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Leo Wyatt
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Joined: 25 Feb 2004
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Location: Investigating A Crime Scene. What did Quark do this time?

PostWed Jul 27, 2005 5:17 am    

I don't think any less of you sweety. It is good that you stopped when your mom told you too. She only looking out for you hon. Drugs can mess anyone up. I don't think you are a bad person. It takes courage to come out and say this. You indeed a good person. Love, Deb

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madlilnerd
Duchess of Dancemat


Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Posts: 5885
Location: Slough, England

PostWed Jul 27, 2005 5:59 am    

Quote:
I hope...that in me telling you guys this none of my friends on this site will think any less of me for succombing to drugs...


Dude... you should read Captain Dappet's TIM... we had a nice little discussion about drugs there too.

My brother does pot. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with it. He earns his salary legally and should be able to spend it however he wants.

First of all... take these into account, and most importantly, bring them up with your girlfriend:
-How old are you? Marijuana causes a lot more damage to a developing brain than to a fully formed brain. You're more likely to develop a mental illness from pot usage if you're under the age of 20
-How much is it costing you? I presume your paying about �20 an eighth? Think of all the nice presents you could buy your girlfriend to support her giving up if you stopped buying pot.
-Are you still getting a kick out of it? After a while, your body becomes accustomed to the marijuana and you'll need more and more to get high. It it really worth it?
-How much damage is it causing you? Apart from the obvious lung damage problems, think about the other things weed does to your body. Slowed reaction times, mental illness... is it really worth the high if you end up with schitzophrenia and think the invisible police are after you? The depression you've been feeling was also likely to have been brought on by the weed, and any withdrawral symptoms such as shaking and vomiting.

Think carefully before you do anything. You've gotten yourself into a pretty delicate situation. Take care.


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Birdy
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Joined: 20 Sep 2004
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PostWed Jul 27, 2005 6:03 am    Re: Omet'Ikilan (Someone please read and respond..important)

Omet'Ikilan wrote:
My mom's telling me that untill shaundra can go get help and stop she wont let me see her...but what my mom doesnt realize is that..My girlfriends parents do it...her brother and a group of her friends she's surrounded by the stuff and it'll be hard for her to stop... she doesnt seem to see that she might need someone ther for moral support...to try to keep her off pot...and she doesnt seem to realize how crushed I would be to loose someone this close to me...again...

anyways...I want to here what you guys think about this...what you think I should do...(if anyone wants any more info just pm me and Ill tell you)

I hope...that in me telling you guys this none of my friends on this site will think any less of me for succombing to drugs...


Well.. This is hard for you, I can only imagine!
Well, 'succombing to drugs' is the problem of a lot of people, cuz for instance cigarettes and liquor are also things people can get addicted to.

I understand that your mom has problems with drugs, I presume because of your dad? And you have a struggle too. Maybe you should think about why you started with it in the first place. And how come you keep on doing it.

I guess if your girlfriend wants to stop it's a good thing, but as you say, it's harder for her cause (almost?) her whole family does it. If I'm honest, I don't think she will succeed as long as she lives with her family. You will breath in the air anyway.

I understand that you don't want to lose her... It's a hard situation, I'll tell you that. Either way you'll get hurt, I guess.
But that's life, and I think you have to deal with that anyway, even after this. Doesn't mean it's less difficult.
I think you need to make a choice, do you want to quit using pot, and maybe lose your girlfriend over it? Or do you want to keep doing it, with the risk of using even worse drugs and 'losing' your mother?

I don't know if I've said anything that's usefull, I just want you to know that I admire you for putting it up here. If you need any guidance or help or something, don't hesitate to pm me.
Good luck!!!



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